Nervous about moving forward with him....

[ThrashTrash]

Hi,

 

So I met this guy in December, and I liked him within minutes. He was just so nice to me. I haven't been a relationship since my teen years (early twenties now) and even then the one I was in was abusive and draining. It was just really refreshing to have just met this guy and have a really fun time hanging out, even just as friends. He added me on facebook two days later (even though I didn't tell him my facebook name?) but after that we didn't re-connect.

We started hanging out again early this year because we both have volunteer jobs at the same place, and spend a lot of time hanging out there. When I see him, he hugs me, talks to me, sits with me, and it's fun! I really like being around him, he's a good friend.

 

Recently he's been sort of suggestive, maybe trying to imply that he likes me? He said that we should hang out, things like that, sending me random texts. I really, really like this guy. But, I'm so worried of everything failing. I'm worried that maybe he doesn't like me too much and will forget about me in a week or so. I'm worried about breaking up already. We haven't even hung out yet, and I'm scared about this! I'm also worried that he might be a total . I mean, yeah, he's rude and loud and impulsive but I knew that already. Some mutual friends of ours have expressed that they find him annoying and rude. I get nervous that maybe he's some awful, horrible person.

 

But.....Then I think, why? He's always perfectly lovely to me, and asks me if I'm okay when I'm sad, he doesn't annoy me so what do I care? I feel like that might be my nerves trying to keep myself from getting hurt. I'm always so afraid of getting hurt, even though I've been alone since I was 16. I think it would be really nice to have a boyfriend who enjoy a lot of the same things as me, is in the same friend group as me, and treats me nice. But I'm still scared. Anyone want to share their two cents?

[Man with Dog]

Hang out with him. OK it might fail one day but you don't want to be middle aged and wondering what might have happened. OK, I've been hurt but if I'd never have dated I wouldn't have my wife and the daughter we have together.

 

Good luck.

[SooSad33]

"Recently he's been sort of suggestive, maybe trying to imply that he likes me? He said that we should hang out, things like that, sending me random texts. I really, really like this guy. But, I'm so worried of everything failing"

- Then don't rush anything. Just hang out with him for a while. See how that goes.. If he stays around this time or not?

Do you even know if he's single? How well do you know him?

 

Take it slowly...

[Man with Dog]

"Recently he's been sort of suggestive, maybe trying to imply that he likes me? He said that we should hang out, things like that, sending me random texts. I really, really like this guy. But, I'm so worried of everything failing"

- Then don't rush anything. Just hang out with him for a while. See how that goes.. If he stays around this time or not?

Do you even know if he's single? How well do you know him?

 

Take it slowly...

 

Good point! I was going to mention this but was distracted by a thing called work! Looking deeper, I'd say one likely scenario is that he did have someone when you first met but doesn't now. I think it would be good if you sought the answer. It is also quite possible that he is with someone but likes you and is interested in doing a swap. It's your choice but in your shoes I would say no more than friends until he dumps the other girl.

 

Good luck.

[Ms Darcy]

I think worrying about breaking up is putting the cart before the horse. I say just keep hanging out with him and see if he is single. Figure out if he has the character you want in a long term partner and if you guys are compatible. And definitely hold off on sex before you two decide where things are going.

 

Be calm.