Reconnecting with Him

[mrtumus]

Back in college I had an academic advisor who was with me through my assault, even went to court with me since my family wasn't there. He knew that I tried to kill myself etc etc but eventually I just stopped communicating with him which I regret because he might have been able to talk some sense into me and stopped a lot of the things that happened to me from spinning out of control. The last time he contacted me he left a voicemail asking me if I was well and that if I ever needed something I could contact him. This was back in November. I never did because I was afraid that he would be disappointed in me for making the choices I did. In his eyes I was always mature smart and strong and the choices I choose went against that image of me. So I never contacted him. But now I need him to fill out a form for one of the colleges I am applying to and was thinking of also maybe writing him a letter explaining everything and apologizing for disappearing with the form? Do you suggest that’s a good idea? For some reason I am just afraid a little maybe because I feel guilty for disappearing, for letting him down and not reaching up to his expectations. Or because I am afraid he might say something that may upset me. Not sure what to do. What do you think?

[SpottiOtti]

I think he is a professional and will respond professionally if you reach out to him. I don't think you need to write a letter explaining all that happened. He said to contact him if you needed him, and presumably you didn't, but now you do. I do think you should thank him at the end of the email or whatever for going the extra mile for you last year.

[poetryandlyrics]

There's no need to pour out your guts to him. I'm sure he has nothing against you. He's a professional who cares about his job (and with that, his students) so he went above and beyond. He said you could reach out to him if you need him, and now you need him to write a recommendation letter. Nothing wrong with that. I agree, thanking him would be a good idea.

[SooSad33]

I don't think you should take this all so personally. He is a trained professional, right?

 

You just contact him, explaining you've been busy- not explaining, overly. Then say, oh and I would like your help here in filling out a form for school, for me.

I'm sure he'd be glad to.