Is it over?

[frankie2k]

I've got a problem and don't know what to do.

 

My girlfriend and I have been together for two years now. She spends a lot of time away, a long way away, however we meet up as much as possible - every other weekend, so she can concentrate on her studies and I can concentrate on my career.

 

I love her so much - she is the main thing in my life and until recently I thought I was the main thing in hers. However recently she started questioning about whether we were a long-term couple; I always thought we were. She has now said when she is away she doesn't miss me as she used to do. Nothing has happened in the relationship itself - we're both the same people we started off as. She's merely taking a step back and analysing our relationship in a long-term sense, which I respect her for.

 

But I hate this. I can't bear to think of us apart. She means so much to me. I don't think it's the long-distance thing that's getting to her, as it's never been mentioned before. Does anyone else have experience with this? I know this could be the start of a break-up, which I so dearly don't want to happen. So much has gone on in the short space of time we've been together - it's a cliché, I know - but I can't imagine life without her. She's being so kind and feeling really guilty, which is the last thing I want. I'm feeling guilty of her feeling guilty. What could have made her stop missing me?

 

What can I do?!

[annie24]

Can you two go on some romantic weekend or 4 day trip where you can really talk to her and be close to her? Maybe what you two need is to "reconnect."

 

Best Wishes!

annie

[OceanEyes]

Ahhhh the long-distance drama. I've been there. It's HORRIBLE sometimes. I do see some light at the end of the tunnel on this one though, and here it is.

 

I was in a long-distance relationship with my man for about 2.5 months. The reasons for this are pretty irrelevant, but I can say a few things that happened between us (and TO us) during those months:

 

- We eventually started getting used to the fact that we couldn't see each other. It wasn't that we didn't want to be, but after a while as a human being, you begin to adapt to things that you can't change.

 

- As time went on, I came to feel very emotionally distant from him. This is something that most women will feel before men; I connected with my boyfriend through the emotional/ verbal/ communicative elements. He did as well, but probably more on a physical level than me. So, him not being around for me to connect with him obviously caused a very large emotional gap that I could do nothing about - and that wasn't conscious - I got used to it and it felt normal.

 

- If she's busy (like I was), then she will probably have many other things going on in her life, and start to (inadvertently) forget how the relationship made me feel. Nobody ever does this on purpose, but the distance can really make this happen. If too much time passes and there isn't enough effort from both sides, the relationship itself can take position on the BACKBURNER. Bad idea.

 

If this relationship means that much to you, I would suggest surprising her with a very bold romantic move. It doesn't list here how old you both are, but she's still in school, so I am guessing that the two of you are in your early-mid twenties. You both need some time to reconnect (for longer than a couple of hours). Spend time togther - basically - do whatever you used to do before you were in a long-distance relationship. You may both just need some reminders of how you feel for each other in the first place. I would show up and surprise her with some kind of thoughtful gift.

 

What could have made her stop missing me?

 

This is an option that, if I were you, I wouldn't think about just yet. She has probably just forgotten how you used to be together; it's easy to get caught up with school/ careers and forget about relationships.

[frankie2k]

Well...didn't work. She wanted some time to evaluate things, and we went for a meal tonight. She turned up looking gorgeous, as per usual - but after a while we got talking and I realised the only future she sees for us is as friends. So tonight after nigh on two years I think it's officially over.

 

I love her so much, it's unbelievable. I've never felt as strong for someone as I have her. I know it'll pass, but I don't want it to. I know the usual advice - I've given it out loads of times, but...I don't know what to do. know she's made up her own mind, and I dont want to be with her just because she feels sorry for me, and I KNOW it's being selfish, but I just want to be with her.

 

Doubt anyone's got any tips on what I can do?