She's built a wall

[milliganimal]

Ive recently broken up with my girlfriend who ive come home from Madrid to see because she says she doesnt love me but, but i know she cares she just doesnt want to get attactched because she was hurt in a prevoius relationship, she has built a wall around herself and doesnt want to let anyone get close to her, she wont allow herself to trust anyone, what can i say or do to convince her that she cant continue to shut people out like this?

[keefy1972]

All you can do in this situation is allow her to come to you man. You cant do or say anything to make her want you. All you can do, if you are up for it, is to just be there for her as a friend. Otherwise, you need to move on with your life as if you two will not be together. I know it sucks, but there is not much else to be done by you. She has to come to you.

[Softmoonlight]

I agree. There's nothing you can do when someone else shuts down like that. Just be someone she can trust and eventually she will come to you.

[ajk]

i think you CAN actually say something...i need to think about it a little bit more before posting, though--i don't want to offer you any advice i would take back later. (i am going through the same thing!)

 

you do have to have the 'attitude' that she should come to you--you can't force her, but you can offer her support and patience and let her know she can trust you by your actions....

 

i'll post again later