I'm Done?

[JayR]

After spending most of this week pulling double duty on chauffeuring for my Dad AND sister, i think I'm gonna cut my sister off and not pick her up on Friday morning, and maybe not for the rest of Friday or Saturday. I was picking her up once again, answered her pestering questions about my job search endeavors and just overall listening to her talk. Then she asked me if I can pick her up on Friday morning.

 

Mind you this car that we have (the only one in the family) belongs to my Dad, and he and my sister are not on speaking terms. I live with Dad and one "perk" is car usage; somehow I get to pick up my sister to and fro for whatever. But since things have intensified recently in terms of needing to transport my sister it cuts into Dad's pattern and he'd been resisting. So, i could only pick up my sister in the afternoon and she'd walk in the past 2 mornings. She hated this.

 

So she asked me if I can definitely pick her up Friday morning. Before I could answer, she gave the most egregiously pathetically disgustingly loud moan of utter disdain and hopelessness. Just because I hesitated, she acted as if she were giving birth. I hate this so much. And I think she knows that.

 

I am willing to pick her up, my Dad is even off that morning. But, you know what, I feel like NOT picking her up, and yes, just because of that reaction. I only ask if it is fickle of me to make such a bold decision based on behavior. I feel like that would only make matters worse for the little time I hope we have left in dealing with each other in such a way. But this really feels like the straw that broke the camel's back.

 

I have also yet to tell her that I intend on not spending a dime on a new car with her. Any tips?

[abitbroken]

Part of living in the house is sharing the car. If you do not wish to share a car, get your own. Or move. Don't tell her you aren't buying a car with her. Just simply don't do it. Go buy your own.

 

I think that if you no longer want to drive your sister, that you need to give her notice. Deciding now on Thursday evening that you are not going to drive her Friday morning when you agreed to it is rude and two wrongs don't make a right if it is to go to work. If it were your car, I would drive her friday and tell her that going forward, she is free to act how she likes, but if she gives you atitude, you will not pick her up anymore. But it is not your car - you have to drive her because of their drama.

[JayR]

She lives and has lived on her own without a car even when she and I shared one. I've done the driving for her 90% of the time and was responsible for each one she and I shared. Me using Dad's car is a last resort. It's one convenience of me still living with my Dad as opposed to my sister living on her own.

 

She's been giving me attitude for years. I just feel that her gross outburst shows a lack of hope and self-respect. And to me, someone who can't respect them self just will not respect others, and I will not be disrespected. I'd love to tell her that face-to-face, but I can't get a word in edgewise, I can't say it like I want/need to in front of her. The message gets lost by her drama. Believe me, we have been there before and it was ugly. I should have stayed away from her then.

 

She needs a car which is true, and I want her to get one to leave me alone. I can't afford it. I'm not going to spend the last little $ I have on a car I don't need or want to some degree. She flaked on her responsibilities with previous cars we shared that were lemons. I drove, fueled, got service when needed, but she didn't even keep up the insurance after I got 2 tickets even. It was like she was plotting me to get my license suspended or go to jail. She flaked on her part of the agreement while my $ dwindled. That's not fair.

 

I still plan on getting her to whatever car dealer she is going to, but I'm not signing anything. I have to tell her that upfront right? So how?

[agent1607307371]

Just tell her. You're building this up into some massive thing, but it's not. All you have to do is say "I'm not buying a car with you."

[HeartGoesOn]

^

Agree with Agent.

 

Also, she's an adult who needs to take responsibility for her own choices.

[abitbroken]

Don't go to the dealer with her and give her the impression that you are going to buy the car with her. Just tell her ahead of time that you will drive her to the dealer, but you have decided that you are not going to buy the car with her. Encourage her to get a lease on her own if that is all she qualifies for.

 

btw, you do need a car if it gives you the freedom mentally to not depend on your dad unless you live somewhere like NYC where most people don't have cars. And you could pick up extra shifts at work when you need to or want to or go to other classes when you want to. Its part of growing up to not have your parents responsible for your stuff anymore. But just let her get her own car first so she is not sponging off of you.