What to do now?

[potnoodle432]

This is long so please bare with me-

So there’s this girl at my school who I never really liked or cared about, I didn’t hate her or anything I just thought of her as just another person, she is generally quiet and withdrawn, as the years progressed I began to like her more and more until the last year/year and a half where I have been obsessed with her, I fully admitted to myself I had a crush on her and I couldn’t go a day without thinking about her. We had never really spoken and we weren’t really friends either, but she was nice enough for you to say hi to and stuff but we never got any further. I never really knew I was doing it, but I guess I was staring at her a lot in classes, one lesson as I walked in she was with her best friend and was whispering and nodded in my direction, that day when I got home her friend sent me a message saying, I noticed you staring at her etc., do you have a crush on her? When I got this text my heart was pounding and I was sweating I was so scared, I said a little bit despite the fact it was so much more, she said why don’t you ask her out? I said I really don’t think she likes me ad she said you will never know unless you ask, I said yeah I guess so and left it at that, later she said she (my crush) got asked out and said yes. I said oh ok then, however I was so upset I didn’t even know what to do, later on I began to see this as a good thing, I felt like I could forget her and move on but I just couldn’t, I wasted an entire year fussing to myself over her, constantly checking for her on Facebook promising myself I would talk to her when she’s next on, but I never did. Always always thinking about her it was driving me insane. I never showed any signs afterwards though so she probably thought I had moved on when I completely hadn’t. it got to the point earlier this year when I had enough, I said hi to her (our only previous conversation was me saying hi and her replying with hi and me asking what she’s up to and so on, I then said I sorry for pestering her but she said I wasn’t) so yeah I said hi, she said hi and I just came clean, I said look I really like you and I’m wondering If you would go out with me? It was late, I was home alone and under a blanket on the sofa, shaking and breathing quickly, my heart pounding, as soon as I pressed send I ran out the room to take a moment and realise what I just did, when I got myself together I went to check for a reply, still trembling, a couple minutes later my phone buzzed, I was so scared, I looked and saw the first two words, I’m sorry, and which point I burst into tears before I read the rest of the text, I then calmed down, read the text and she said she didn’t want a relationship and made up some excuse about schoolwork, fair enough she’s trying to be nice but it was pretty clear she just doesn’t like me, I said awh ok then and she said sorry and that was it, there was then a week of awkward school days and now were on a 6 week holiday at which point I haven’t seen/spoken to her since. Everything just feels so empty and I’m confused, I don’t know what to do with my life now it feels like the one thing I ever care about has gone and now…I don’t even know anymore, I can’t even look at her profile picture without tearing up, she’s a really nice person, she would never make fun of me or anyone and like I said she’s quiet and doesn’t really like too much attention. My friends slowly figured out I liked her at which point I told them I asked her out and she said no so they left me alone after that, this leads to now, I really don’t know what to do anymore, it feels so hard to move on, I can’t just forget it, I’m so down all the time now please help 

[SooSad33]

I think, sadly, you've just worked yourself way up and now it's so hard to work on down again.

( You know.. like setting yourself up for a fall?).

 

It'll take a little while to work on 'accepting & healing' from this emotional insult, but you can do it.

There are so many other gals out there! Not just this one..

 

Give yourself another month or so to work on accepting this and moving on again.

 

Give it some time, okay? One day at a time.

 

tc

[potnoodle432]

Thank you so much, I guess ill have to learn from my mistakes and move on

[SooSad33]

Tc and good luck.