A sensitive Spirit

[AnyaNova]

I am beginning this journal at a very interesting stage in my life.

 

My life has been hampered in some ways, by a life long health issue. Before my issue was completely diagnosed and began to be treated last spring, I lost my graduate career.

 

I am 36 years old and have to rebuild my life from the ground up. Surprisingly, this is not as sad or difficult as it seems it should be.

 

I am about to start a few classes (hopefully I can find some that I can take this semester, but I am registered as a non-degree seeking graduate student) and begin looking for work. I have taken some time to recover and heal.

 

Right now, the treatment is causing me some pretty significant pain, but I am dealing. I'm getting done what I can and forgiving myself for the rest.

 

Some issues that I will probably be dealing with in this blog: My high sensitivity, I might discuss some of my work with Beattie's work on Codependency, some of my work with The Willpower Challenge book in light of my tendency to procrastinate through fear, my life as a whole, and whatever occurs to me.

 

So I guess we will see where this goes. I am hopeful to see about getting back into graduate school with documentation from my Doctor (in a new program however, definitely!), and getting my life back on track from its derailment.

[AnyaNova]

Yesterday was a difficult day,

 

I was in a lot of pain. I am still in a good deal of pain today, but it is a little better. While I was feeling badly yesterday, I ordered Jon Kabat Zinn's "Full Catastrophe Living," Which details an eight week program based on an eight week class they teach to people referred to them by doctors for a myriad of health and life problems.

 

So for this first week, I will be doing 10 minutes of sitting meditation a day, and the 45 minute body scan every day (at the minimum, as the class requres, six days a week). The program builds you up to 45 minute meditation and a 45 minute guided body scan.

 

I had already been doing 5 minutes of meditation a day according to new studies discussed in the book, "The Willpower Instinct" by McGonigall, showing that people who did so, just 5 minutes a day starting seeing changes accross the board in their lives. They started naturally choosing healthier food, procrastinating less, choosing the activities with the longer term payoff of joy, instead of the immediate gratification of television, junk food, and all those empty fillers.

 

I can still get carried away in the moment, as we all can, however I hope this program helps me be more alive in the moment at every moment and that this program helps me learn how to win by losing and step back from my ego.

 

However, I'm not going to focus on those goals while doing the meditation. that would defeat the purpose. If they are nice side effects, so be it.