Healing time

[JonEWalker]

Why does it take so long to get over an Ex? In my experience its based on how long I was with the girl and how into her I really was. I was with a girl for 8 years that I left without to much heartache. I left her for another girl that I was only with for 6 months who I really didn't care much for except for the sex. It took me months to get over her! ??? Am I a sex addict? After being with many after her it took 8 months before I was finally over her and found someone that(in my head) was better. Was with her 5 years. We split and It took nearly 2 years and a dozen rebounds before I got over her and found one that I was really into. That lasted a year and now I'm in the same spot missing her!!! I'm with a great girl now..total sweetheart but I'm still not over the last one and its driving me nuts. I just want her out of my head so I can move on. I think this will be impossible until I find another one that I'm really into again. Tired of this vicious cycle. Passion, lust, whatever.....highly addictive.

[Brotherhood67]

What you're going through is called "maturity" in my opinion. Don't worry, it will soon pass ;-)

 

No, really, I think that what you're experiencing is that you've never been alone per se : leaving your first girl after 8 years for another didn't give you the opportunity to grow as a person and to reflect on what you really want.

 

Sex is immediate, lust is immediate. No need to grow up in order to have a boner, isn't it ?

 

Love and feeling of satisfaction are permanent but require a minimum of self-reflection at one time. And it looks like you never experienced it. This comes from within and generally speaking, treating women as "tools" will never get you there, nor will rebounds do the trick or jumping from boat to boat in order to satisfy your lust.

 

Cool down. Be single. Enjoy it. Reflect on yourself. Then, when you're ready, date.