Should I tell him??

[Starbright]

I'm in need of some serious help. About 2 years ago I became close with this guy and through the course of our frienship I realized I had feelings for him but I was too scared and too proud to even admit it to myself. A lot of things happened, and while there were always little things that told me he felt the same way(the way he looked at me, the way he seemed kind of jealous when other guys hit on me, how nice he was to me when I got sick or something, and the hurt look on his face whenever I purposely tried to hurt him by making him think I had no feelings for him),he got a girlfriend and that made me drift away from him out of anger and dissappointment. Time passed, I still felt the same way, he broke up with his girlfriend because he didn't love her, we got close again, and something still tells me that he loves me but is too afraid to say something. He'll be leaving in a little while and my heart is telling me taht I should let him know how I fell otherwise I'll never be free but there's another part of me that is completely terrified of losing him and thinks that if he loves me, he'll make the first move. I really don't know what to do, should I tell him and risk getting my heart broken, or keep it to myself and always wonder what might have been?

[wild1]

I think that you should tell him, 'cause if you don't you will always be wondering what if?. I don't know if he feels the same way as you do, but the only way to find out is by talking to him. If your friendship is strong, it will be able to get through this situation. You may end up with a great love or if not at least you will know and it will give you confidence to go forward in a future relationship. Yes, it will be hard to talk to him about this but trust me, it will be alot harder to live with the second guessing you will have if you don't find out. I hope this helps and good luck.

[Jose]

I agree with wild1. You have to tell him so you stop wounderin if he does or not. YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM!!!!!! In fact, why dont you go tell him right now! Good Luck! Hope everything works out for you 2.

[Jonathan_in_fl1607306450]

Absolutely tell him. You must have an idea if he is interested. You do not have to come out and say it. Just say that you want to talk about you two. And ask him how he feels about you. You will get a pretty good idea right off the bat and than just come out and say it! Good luck.

[creascent-moon]

im in the exact same situation right now, except, im the guy thats leaving,

 

for the pas few months, i had been feeling extremely down, conflicting emotions, my mind trying to convince me that my feelings werent true, so that i wouldnt do anything.

 

well, for the first time in my life, my heart was successfull in telling my mind how i really felt, so last monday i told her.

 

since then, i have felt two things: great relief and also, some fear

i was affraid that she would speak to me, not that she has since, but im not worried, shes a shy person, but i see in her eyes that she doesnt hate me, that she wants to talk to me, she just doesnt know how. i know this not by talking to her, just by a look she gave me friday.

 

tomorow, im going to go talk to her, i dont know if something will flowrish, but i do know we will stay friends, and maybe even better friends that we were.

 

what im trying to say is, if you really feel it, do it, or else you will have the what if syndrome, if you arent sure, its a matter of do you think its worth it or not.

 

the best advice i can give you is this, follow your heart in whatever you do, it will always do the right thing in the long run, and dont let the fact that hes leaving scare you from telling him, even if he was staying, and you told him, there could have been an unforeseen event that would have been a bump in the road, but since you wouldnt have known about , would have had to live with it.

 

no matter how it turns out, if you dont do it, yes, you might miss the pain, but youll have to give up the potential joy

[Starbright]

Thanks to all of you who replied. Well, after plenty of soul searching and going out with him as friends a couple of times, I realized that I'd actually talked myself into having feelings for him and what I thought I felt wasn't really there when I saw him. So I was able to get some closure and happily say that I'm pretty much over him and though I never really got around to telling him, I'm almost certain that he wouldn't have felt the same way. I'm sorry if I disappointed any of you but sometimes we have to stop and really listen to what our hearts are telling us, and while for a moment there I actually thought it was telling me that I loved him, taking a step back and looking at things from a different point of view allowed me to really listen and come to the realization that though sometimes I may feel that he's what I want, he's not what I need right know, in fact..I don't think either one of us is what the other one needs, and in the long run, I think I made the right choice...maybe someday we will meet again and something else will come out of it, but not right now, and not this way.