Ladies: Does PMS Make you question relationships??

[newgirlhere]

I apologize for the TMI.

 

A trend I have noticed with myself is that typically I am fairly low-key about all of my relationships, romantic or otherwise, and it takes a lot for me to get upset or jump to negative conclusions about people ... until the week before my period.

 

I track my cycle with an app on my phone that has been spot on every single month for almost a year now (it's fairly amazing). Something I started tracking along with it was my mood, and even how my relationships were going. Obviously I would mark the days when I was intimate with someone, etc, so there are months with crazy amounts of hearts on them and lots of comments, etc. I don't get terrible PMS, but one thing I've noticed is that - particularly with the last guy I was seeing - like clockwork I would trust him at his word about being exclusive, not hooking up with other women, not lying to me about things, (and he didn't give me many reasons not to trust him at all), but then that week before my period I would suddenly feel paranoid that he was undoubtedly playing me with many other women. I'd suddenly see all of these details I never thought were bad before as signs. It was as if he was suddenly a totally different guy in my mind and I'd pull away completely.

 

We talked recently and he laughed when I said I had worried sometimes that I was not the only girl and he flat out said 'How could you think that? Seriously? I know you were getting to know me, but I am not that kind of guy and honestly I hardly had the time to see YOU as much as I did throughout the week.' Looking back, I really do believe him.

 

It's the same with friends, too - I will suddenly be convinced my friends are annoyed or angry with me or don't want me around during that week and I pull away from everyone. And cry. I get that a lot of this is classic PMS.

 

I don't think I have PMDD -- I don't have many of those symptoms, and honestly, this is entirely manageable and I always find ways to distract myself from it until it passes, but I was just wondering if other women experience paranoia/ insecurity/ overall negative views out of nowhere for the people they are dating or friends with during that time. How do you guys deal with it?

[mhowe]

Nope --- in fact, one of my bf's asked if I ever got my period!!!! His ex wife went howl at the moon crazy.

[oitnb]

Yup I go through just about the same thing you do. I've been diagnosed with pmdd though.

[newgirlhere]

Sigh, mhowe I need to know your secret!!!!

 

I generally hide myself from people so they don't get have to see me go through it toooo much (and most of the time, it's more like 3 days rather than a full week), but still. I'm not quite howl at the moon crazy, but I definitely get a wee bit oversensitive!!

[newgirlhere]

Interesting -- what were the symptoms that defined this as pmdd for you, specifically, if you don't mind my asking?

[newgirlhere]

I definitely see a distinct shift in my mood. It's like I go to sleep all happy and in love with everyone and wake up suspicious of anyone who talks to me that day.

[oitnb]

Pmdd is basically extreme Pms. That's how my Obgyn described it.

 

I get mood swings, doubt in relationships, severe cramps, sleeplessness, general lack of motivation, anxiety, irritability, ect. Usually starting a week before my period.

[newgirlhere]

Oitnb, I am so sorry you have to go through all that. My sister has dealt with horrific PMS for years and went on BC pills to attempt to handle it. What has worked for you to ease this??

 

I hope I'm not developing it. I noticed my mood swings are a much more recent issue (last three years or so). I have to be careful with my diet to make sure I'm getting enough iron and vitamins and that sort of helps, but not much.

 

btw, is your username referencing 'orange is the new black'? that is my favorite show right now. =)

[Tearsbegone]

Hard to say if it's PMS or PMDD, but you sound just like me. I certainly have PMDD, but you didn't describe all your symptoms. For me I get really emotional and sensitive, trouble sleeping, anxiety, doubt, and then rethink my relationship- like it's nuts. I'm like he's not right, etc. It's so odd. Then I get my period and it goes away.

 

You might want to have your hormones looked at. I know for a long time I was simply producing too much estrogen. On top of that I was eating TONS of soy (estrogen). I now take progesterone and have stopped the soy. However, I did find going on Lexapro helped with PMDD. I still get it, but it did help a lot in the beginning. Now I think the drug is pooping out on me (it's been years), but it is prescribed for it. Worth looking into and best of luck. It's not your fault and it totally sucks.

[oitnb]

I just deal with it because hormonal birth control has typically not helped, and the side effects of it really mess with me. I'm 100% hormone free right now - paragard!

 

I just tell myself it's my hormones speaking and try to ignore it all. And yes it's a reference to orange is the new black my new fav show as well

[figur]

2-4 days before my period I will become out-of-the-blue paranoid and depressed. I've never been more secure in a relationship (we're even getting married!) and I'll just think "he's leaving me, I hate myself, what's wrong with me, what does he mean???"

 

Period comes, the emotions go away. It sucks, but I just tell myself that it's hormonal (I'm hormone free and also track my period).

[Binoo]

I become very paranoid and insecure the week before my period too. I've talked to a few of my girlfriends and it's about 50/50 on those who experience it and those who don't.

[ParisPaulette]

It's not your imagination. Hormonal fluctuations can drive a person crazy. I would sometimes have meltdowns over the dumbest things during my period. I realized that for me having a period felt like having nails scraping accross a chalkboard at such a low level I wouldn't hear it, but still it was there driving me slightly batty. I tracked my period and made it a point to learn that if something seemed terrible during "that time" then I would go out of my way not to talk about it or bring it up until after my period was done. And guess what? 99.99 percent of the time it was nothing, just that low-level irritation of the hormonal fluctuations.

 

I've got to say I was really relieved when menopause came along and so were a lot of other people. Try to work out coping strategies and make sure you double your efforts on things that make you feel good and relaxed during that time of the month, it helps.

[newgirlhere]

This is all extremely comforting, thank you all.

 

I have been feeling horrible all day because I think I accidentally upset a friend of mine, so I texted her a few times today just funny things/friendly and she never responded, and then posted an instagram pic of herself at this big thing she's going to tonight.

 

I'm absolutely sure it wasn't intentional that she didn't respond (we didn't have an actual falling out or anything), and nothing I texted was particularly response-worthy but for some reason I just feel unbelievably blue about it and lonely, and like I really messed up.

 

This is how I have always been a couple days before, when I was dating someone too. I've never cared at all about if my boyfriends talked to me every single day, but if they wouldn't respond to me the one or two days before my period, I'd become sure they were doing it on purpose, mad at me, or wanting me to stop talking to them all together. Go figure a few days later everything would be completely fine or they'd be like "Why are you so silly? Nothing was wrong!!!"

 

I'm supposed to get it in three days so yes, I am right on schedule. I'm also very under the weather right now so I have a feeling a lack of nutrients is coming into play. I really wish I could shake this feeling though. SO MANY FEELS.

 

I do have a feeling I have a lot of estrogen in my system. I'm not on BC, but probably should be. I will have to make an appt soon to get this squared away. I'm not really anxious, but definitely fatalistic and down in the dumps.

[newgirlhere]

ParisPaulette, yes I am very much looking forward to a time when this will not effect me! It is a huge part of my life. Looking back on the last year or so, pretty much every time I've broken up with someone or had the fight that caused the break up was during the week before my period.

 

Sooooo that's a concern.