toggle Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 ok this is kinda an odd thing to talk about here goes. Well, it may sounds hard to beleave but i literally do not have any friends, (serisouly) in school i probably only had about 3, 1 went to spain and the other 2 went to college. But instead i went to work, and im still here now developing my carer. But this is the problem, since working i havnt kept in contact with them and vice versa. And either of them r really interested in persuing our friendship (so i have tried!) tbh i havent gone out of house to do anything for almost 18 months (its really depressing The only friends i do have that i talk regulary are the people that i have met on the internet. and ive met a few of them buy its impractical to do things because they live so far away. and im more worried if anything that im getting older (18 in about 6 months time) soon, all these people i know will be going their separate ways and ill be even more loneley and alone because i wont even have anyone to talk to over the net! i can see myself being one of these 30 year old men playing games with 15 year olds jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeze my life is screwed up, ive tried joining clubs and things but their is nothing around where i live that interests me. I dont really go out at all because im a shy person and very low self esteem. My dad is always moaning that i should go out and do stuff that "normal" people do like go down the pub with mates! and i cant see myself getting in any relationships because im never going to meet anyone ooooo poo any advice? Link to comment
honeyxx Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 im sorry to hear that, when i left school i didnt see any friends and didnt go out much, but as i got older and did more things the better it got i think as you go through life you find at times you feel on your own but things well get better xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment
ksk0_0 Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 I think that you just gotta hang in there for a while - your going off to college next year right? Start fresh there. If your willing to try to make friends now, just join every freakin club(sry, im kinda lol) and at least TRY to have fun, get to know some people and hang out - who cares if your a little older? Link to comment
MetalJoe Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 At school, allmy friends were the guys who no one else would talk to - we were united by our "uncoolness" and refusal to conform or bow to peer pressure. That was fine at the time and they were great people to know. We kept in touch when we all went to different unis, but eventually we drifted apart because, frankly, we didn't really have much in common. A few years ago, I realised I had friends, but no one local. If I wanted to drop by a friend's house or meet up for a drink (non-alcoholic cos I'm teetotal) I'd have to drive for an hour or two. Not much fun really. I'd also been wracked by panic attacks over the years, so my social life and self-esteem were pretty low anyway - I'd spend a lot of time hiding in my room. Anyway, my social life was kickstarted by an ex-gf of mine - she introduced me to snowboarding and things took off from there. I've met lots of people in the UK who do it, through a web discussion forum and weekly trips to my local slope, as well as around the world. Where am I going with this? Clubs and interest groups are great places to meet people. In particular, take the plunge and try something different - find a dryslope or snowdome near you and take ski or board lessons, go to a language course at your local college, find a local group that shares an interest or, here's an idea, start your own! Take yourself out of the comfort zone and into an unfamiliar situation. Heck, you've done the scary part already by posting your woes here... Link to comment
rich46 Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Hi toggle, Know that you are not alone! When my girlfriend dumped me back in July, I didn't really have anyone to help me except my family. My self esteem was very low, I didn't have a job, I'd lost contact with my friends, etc. But I came through that period and I forced myself to do new things such as do a part time college course, join a gym, got a new job etc. Also, in February I am going to New Zealand for 6-12 months on my own. It is pretty daunting because I imagine I am pretty similar to you and fairly quiet. However, I've forced myself to do something big because I think I will come back a different person and I'll have met soooo many people and made sooooo many new friends! You are only 17. You have years and years and years to make friends, get a girlfriend and the rest. You just have to make a stand and be positive! Get out there and do new things. Like MetalJoe says, find a hobby like snowboarding or something completely new and exciting. For one you will meet new people, and your self esteem will improve dramatically! Good luck and keep thinking positive...you've got your whole life in front of you! Take care, Rich Link to comment
toggle Posted December 30, 2004 Author Share Posted December 30, 2004 ksk0_0 nope im not going college although this year iw as planning to go to night school for advanced computer management and programing. and someone mentioned about going snowboarding? well unfortunately there isnt no dry slop places enar me although when i start driving perhaps i can go to some, although its quite daunting going on my own but i am booking 2 holidays this year but as it seems ill be going on my own, although i was hoping to find someone to go with by now. Thanks for your advice guys (and gals) keep it commiN! thanks all Link to comment
rich46 Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 and someone mentioned about going snowboarding? well unfortunately there isnt no dry slop places enar me although when i start driving perhaps i can go to some, although its quite daunting going on my own No excuse! Like I said, I'm going to the other side of the world for a year...on my own! Taking that first step is the hardest, but you'll never regret it. And it doesn't have to be snowboarding! Absolutely anything will do to begin with! Link to comment
dizzy_bruce Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Well it seems like the main thing you're lacking here is confidence... I don't think there's any quick and easy way to build up confidence, it comes with time and work. Confidence is important when doing pretty much anything - you'll never harness all (or even some) of your potential if you're too afraid to try. You need to stop hiding at home, where it's safe. Go out so you can meet new people! Some good places to start might be at a sports club, church, library, youth club and most obviously at school/college. You'll have to make yourself talk to new people at first, and it will be hard (I know!), but you have to start somewhere. Keep on trying to talk to new people, and somewhere along the line you'll start making new friends. Hope things get better, dizzy bruce p.s. I would advise you to limit your time chatting to people on the internet. Most of the time it will lead nowhere and is a waste of time! Link to comment
MetalJoe Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 ksk0_0 and someone mentioned about going snowboarding? well unfortunately there isnt no dry slop places enar me although when i start driving perhaps i can go to some, although its quite daunting going on my own Lots of things in life are daunting until you try them. Three or four years ago, I had trouble talking in front of one or two people or going to an unfamiliar place. I used to avoid public speaking or difficult situations. This year I spent three weeks teaching groups of teenagers to snowboard (in Australia of all places). If you're interested when you get a car, there are plenty of places to learn in the UK and snowboarders and skiers are a sociable lot. Let me know if you need more info in the future. Link to comment
toggle Posted December 30, 2004 Author Share Posted December 30, 2004 thanks for the advice people. thanks for the offer metaljoe, ive always wanted to go skieing or something but no1 in my family wants to, and since i used to skateboard i wouldnt mind trying snowboarding do you live in the UK? Link to comment
toggle Posted December 30, 2004 Author Share Posted December 30, 2004 kool where abouts? Edit: sorry i saw your profile, in essex...same as me Link to comment
toggle Posted January 4, 2005 Author Share Posted January 4, 2005 hey, metaljoe i need some advice. Im booking a holiday to go snowboarding and im unsure on where or what resort to go to. Im thinking of Austria and i need lessons and a place for beginers/intermediats that is a fair price (also i need to rent my equipment) Whats the best resort for this in Austria (or the world?!) and who should i book the holiday with (company?) thank you!!!!! (also, is snowboarding hard for beginers? will a week be long enough?) Link to comment
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