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I posted a message a few months ago and got some good advice. Now I could do with some more. As I mentioned in my previous post I was with my ex GF for 7 years and 7 months ago she left me. Now she has met someone else. I have also met a lovely girl but I don’t love her and I cant get my ex GF out of my head. I know she is the one true love. I know I will carry her in my heart for as long as I live. We were each other’s first love and had such a wonderful relationship. We were so good together. Over the last few months of our relationship we did argue a bit and did split up for a week but things were still good and we shared some wonderful and intimate moments right until the end. For the last few months we were both under a lot of pressure at work, especially me and it did put a strain on our relationship. She left me the morning we were to go away on a romantic weekend and never gave me a second chance to put things right. Within about 2 months she had met someone else and now they are together. I miss her and constantly think about her. I was very down and upset, but I started meeting other women and I felt good about myself, although this did not take away the hurt and longing to be with her.

 

I tried so hard over the last few months righting wonderful deep letters and pouring my heart out to her. I even told her I wanted to marry her. It made no difference. She would not come back. She used every excuse in the book to say things wouldn’t work. I asked her if meeting me stirred up any feelings and she said it did not saying she did not love me. I think she did this to condone dumping me and her new relationship. She was such a wonderful caring and loving girl. The nicest girl you could have met and her behaviour since we spilt is just not like her. I believed in our relationship and in her. I believed that if you loved someone the way we did then you would miss the other, be reminded by little things and memories and you could not block out the feelings. She seems to have successfully done this.

 

I recently visited her brother and his wife as they are expecting a baby and they welcomed me saying how it was unbelievable that we did not get back together. I told them I had met someone but I missed my ex and wished she would come back. They said that she had changed and that her family did not like her new boyfriend and her parents were arguing with her about him and how she has changed. Two days later I got an SMS from her thanking me for the present I gave her brother for their baby and asking me how I was. She was so nice. I replied saying I was well and to call soon and she replied saying she would. Her family not liking the new man would be a big thing for my ex. Her family loved me. Perhaps things are not as perfect as she thought they would be.

 

I still miss and love the girl. I have realised that despite other women I have met all I want is her. She is so beautyful and such a nice person. I did at times take her for granted and thought she would never leave me. I never knew the pain of loosing the one you love. I know if we are meant to be then she will come back. If she realises that life is not perfect and that people do argue and irritate each other and if things are not perfect with her new man then she may realise what a good man and friend I was and come back. It seems that she blocked all this out and it has worked, allowing her to forget me. I don’t know how she could forget so quickly and so easily after 7 years of being with someone. She said she loved me 1 week before we split and things were great. I just don’t understand how she could do it. I never truly hurt her and I was always considerate to her.

 

I am desperate to win this girl back. I believed I her and always hoped she would come back and after 7 months it did not happen. I suppose I still do. I would do anything to get her back. I will probably call by and see her soon to give her a wonderful piece of furniture I made for the apartment she is about to buy before we split. I would like to ask her if she is truly happy the way we were and if she wants to come back then I will welcome her back as I don’t love the girl I am now seeing, which is true things are not serious and we have only been going out for a few weeks. I love my ex and want to spend the rest of my life with her. Is there anything I can say or do to achieve this? Do people come back? Please give me some advice.

 

CD101 from London, England.

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Hi

 

Sorry to hear of your sad news. What you are going through is normal, however, there are certain things you must tell yourself what to do and what not to do. For example, if you still think about your ex-GF while seeing this new girl, then it is totally UNFAIR to that girl you are seeing at present and you could break her heart if this continue! Is okay to meet other girl, however, don't step into another relationship until your feeling is netural with your ex-GF.

 

The other things is that you have no need to continue to see your ex-GF any longer. If she wanted to come back to you, then she will have done so before. If not, just allow time for the both of you apart and then let time decide whether you are meant for each others.

 

Continuing to see her in this way will only hurt you even more. I know is a hard things, but for now you MUST protect yourself from getting hurt.

 

Keep the friendship with her only until you can be calm with the break up.

 

Good luck and remember what come around will go around. Let the new girl go if you still have feeling for your ex-GF.

 

Cheer.

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