Still really upset...

[wonderbread1988]

I'm wondering if this is normal for anyone....

I broke up with my boyfriend because he was going to college, and I knew that we probably wouldn't be able to keep dating because I would be too paranoid, and he was kinda bad about calling me enough, etc. So we didn't talk at all because school started and we were both really busy...Then a few months later I found out that he had started dating his really good friend that had always tried to force him to go out with her all throughout highschool, and he said that he would never like her in that way and everything. Even though I had been trying to get over him, I still wasn't so I got really mad at him and yelled at him for that even though I had been the one to end it in the first place. He said that he still didn't like her in a romantic way, but since she was his very good friend he wanted to give her a chance because she is having a really hard life right now and he didn't want her to be sad or anything. So...I believed him, and I assumed that it would end really soon, but now it's been two months and they are still dating. I've found that I've become obsessed with that and I'm just really upset because I still haven't gotten over this guy. He has a right to date other people, and we barely even talk anymore but I can't make myself get over him. Also, he's coming back soon to visit my highschool and we were going to hang out afterwards, but now I'm not so sure I want to. I'm still really upset that he's going out with this girl, and I don't know if he even really likes her! Has anyone ever been in a similar situation to this...? Do you think I should not see him when he comes back? And also do you think he lied to me and he really does like his friend? He is a really nice guy, and very whipped by every single girl he knows...but...agh I don't know. How can I get over him? Thanks so much.

[southpaw]

I don't think you have any say about what he chooses to do now that you've broken up, after all, you broke up with him. It can affect whether or not you choose to date him in the future, it the opportunity presents itself. I wouldn't fret about it. If you're still in high school then don't worry, you've got all sorts of relationships ahead of you. I had a high school/beginning of college relationship that lasted for something between 3 and 4 years. We're friendly now but that's it. I know older people say this, but it's true. You're young, enjoy high school. I don't know if you think being whipped by females is a good quality, but trust me. If you guys date a few more years, that lack of spine may start to get on your nerves.

You may want to re-examine whether you're renewed interest in this guys is because you genuinely want him back or if his having started dating someone else has stirred your more competitive side. In the meantime, don't interfere or sabatoge their relationship, just stick him in your friends category and move on.