I NEED help! I can't loose this one! First time love struck.

[Scootchy]

Hi there. I'm 18 years old and I have never had a girlfriend before and I wasn't planning on changing that for just anyone. Three Weeks ago I met a girl that walked into my workplace and happens to know my boss and his wife for a long time. A few times she sits down at the counter where I work and we talk for quite a while. We communicate very easily.

 

One fine evening I was listening to my mp3 player filled with reggae. Yes! You read right! I love reggae! She asked me what I was listening to, I said nothing she would enjoy. She insisted that she decides that. She loved it! For the first time in my life I've met another girl my age and my race that loves my music! I thaught I was the only one. So did she. I thaught that I was getting a crush on her in that week. But paid it no heed because it never pays off.

 

Round about that day, in that week rather, I felt very strong feelings for her. When she walks into my workplace, it feels like my heart stops. Dead in its tracks. I think I'm in the infatuation stadium of the crush cycle if you know what I'm talking about. She gave mer her number without me asking for it and sent me an sms stating: It was an ordinary day then I thaught of you and smiled. It was no longer an ordinary day! That sms.

Talking to her always made my day.

 

I made here some cd's proir to her request. I got her a pruple box with the cd's in them and an orange rose with some love song lyrics. This got me a very positive response via sms. She said I came along when she wanted to give up on life and she loves this friendship we have, and I touched her heart quite deeply. That's what the sms stated.

 

She said one night that she loves jazz and could dance on it, she enjoyed it that much. As much as me! I asked if she goes to jazz clubs. She said she can never get someone to go with her. I offered myself. She was very enthusiastic about the idea! I said I'll take her as soon as I get a car...and a licence. She said she'll take me if she gets those things before me!

Yesterday I phoned her while on the beach and asked her if she likes the beach. I go there every weekend. She said it's her favourite place! I offered to take her one day. She said that she'll enjoy that very much!

On here birthday at the end of February I am going to giver her a neclace she's being eyeballing in a little shop when we took a strol through the mall where we both work at. I'm also giving her some more love song lyrics written by Frank Sinatra. Our favourite. In a purple box.

 

She has to transfer to another branch like half an hour's drive from where she works right now. In February she might move there aswell. I won't care driving there if I must just to see her.

 

My question is, where do I go from here? Do I just tell her that I love her? How do I tell her? Should I do something different for here birthday or change something or do something before that?

Anything would be greatly appreciated!

[Mentor]

Yo, Dude, you are so in with this girl!

 

Sounds like a great story so far. You are doing a good job! The next step should be to ask her out somewhere. She is practically throwing herself at you, it shoudn't be hard. Don't wait too long, or she will move on!

 

Invite her to the beach next weekend, just the two of you. Can you take a taxi together to a jazz club? Is there somewhere that you could catch some other live music together? Find out more about her interests, that will give you lots of ideas.

 

The necklace is a good gift. Hold off on buying it for a while, Feb. is a long way off.

 

Are you sure that you Love her? That is a loaded word. It sounds like both of you are infatuated with each other, but I don't think that you really know her well enough to love her yet. Hold off on this declaration until you are sure, and have been going out exclusively for a while. Just tell her that you really enjoy her comapny and are looking forward to spending more time together and getting to know her better. Play it cool, and enjoy the moments together for what they are!

[giggle3474]

Congratulations! It sounds like you are making a great start to what sounds like a very promising relationship. I'm just curious as to why, before you met her, did you think you did not want a girlfriend?

 

I know it feels like the right thing to do to head into this at full speed but keep in mind it is very early on. You need to make sure your love is true before you profess it to her. I would suggest spending a few more weeks/months getting to know each other and let things fall into place. You could try telling her now that you are so happy to have met her and she's very special to you. From what it sounds like, she feels the same way.

 

Assuming everything goes well between the two of you, I think the necklace is a lovely idea. That is a very thoughtful gift. Best of luck to the two of you.

[Phil]

I'd tell her how much you love her. It sounds like the two of you have really clicked and i bet she feels the same way...

 

I would advise you that if you want to keep this going to get your drivers licence and a car as soon as possible. even if its not a top of the line car like a 2005 mustang or whatever, it shows a progress in keeping your love to her strong. While a half hour drive isn't that far, getting a car will allow the two of you to do things you both of you will enjoy such as, going to the beach, movies, picnics, jazz clubs etc..

 

Feburary sounds like it'll be a wonderful month to express love towards her, you'll have her birthday and Valentines day to express your love to her greatly.

 

For her birthday is it on a weekend or will both of you be working? if so try and spend a lot of time with her on her birthday.

 

For Valentines Day Get her maybe a box of chocolates with a teddy bear and a single rose (don't ask me why a single rose is more romantic then a bouquet of flowers.. but it is to them.. lol)

 

 

Good luck man, hope everything works out.

 

p.s... Thaught is spelled Thought just letting ya know 8)

[Mentor]

There are 2 classic ways of blowing this situation:

 

1. Waiting too long. A relationship has to keep progressing. If you get stuck in a rut and keep doing the same, comfortable things (walking in the mall, just chatting, etc.) she will either lose patience, or respect, or some other more aggressive guy will come in and steal her away. You have made some very nice, romantic gestures, and she has responded positively. Turn up the dial a bit, but just a bit!

 

2. Pouring her heart out to her. This will freak her out and drive her away. A forming relationship is a slow but steady escalation of emotional intimacy. Like slowly unwrapping a present. There has to be some mystery, some anticipation.

 

It can be a difficult balance, I know. Concentrate on having fun, being yourself, and enjoying her company!

[Scootchy]

Thanx alot guys. This has all really helped me.

 

The reason why I didn't feel like I wanted a grilfriend, giggle3474 is that every girl I know this generation is very shallow. Not this one.

 

I REALLY really don't want to blow it with this one. She's very special.

I feel like it could be love because, like I said, My heart feels like it stops and I get the most incredible feeling when I think of the time I spent with her. I just want to hold her forever and ever! It feels like you have just eaten your favourite chocolate, you know? I have her smiling face in my head ALL the time. I mean ALL the time. I'm really scared that someone is going to take her away from me. I'm not really good with talking to women. How do I know that she feels the same way? Can I encourage that in some way? I know I can't make her feel what I feel. I just want to magnify it if you catch my drift.

Phil, that's a sweet idea. When's Valentine's again? It was never necessary for me to know...until now.

 

Mentor, that's good advice, but it sounds like an art difficult to master.

[Mentor]

I'm not really good with talking to women.

 

Sure you are! As far as I can tell, you have done everything right so far.

 

How do I know that she feels the same way? Can I encourage that in some way?

 

Re-read your story. I know she feels the same way. Look at the signs she is giving you. Usually women are a lot more subtle than this. This one is giftwrapped for you! Like I said, you have been doing everything right up until now. Just try to increase the intensity a bit. Spend more time with her alone. Let her know that you are interested. Try not to get obsessed about her, it will show. You have to be strong, and take it easy. Things will flow naturally

 

Mentor, that's good advice, but it sounds like an art difficult to master.

 

Tell me about it

[Scootchy]

Wow. I should pay more attention...

This is really really helping me, it's just...

The thing is, Mentor, Is neither of us have a car so we are limited to walks outside the mall. How do I increase the intensity without being so obvious?

What can I say or talk about to accomplish this? Can I tell her that she's very special to me, or is that too obvious? The only time I get with her alone is the short time she got after work and that is only if she finishes at 6pm. She is going to be working somewhere else like I said earlier, what can I do then? I'll have to drive half an hour to get where she is. I'm gonna have to make a day out of it, don't you think?

 

What do you suggest Mentor?

[Mentor]

How do I increase the intensity without being so obvious?

What can I say or talk about to accomplish this? Can I tell her that she's very special to me, or is that too obvious?

 

OK, listen Scootchy...

 

This girl has told you "It was an ordinary day then I thaught of you and smiled. It was no longer an ordinary day!" and "She said I came along when she wanted to give up on life and she loves this friendship we have, and I touched her heart quite deeply." Who know what else that you haven't told us yet. She has said on numerous occasions that she would love to go out with you. You don't have to worry about being obvious!!! She is asking for it, you have to step up and deliver! You can do this, you sound like a great, romantic guy. Just don't get all obsessed. Saying that she is very special to you is perfect! You have already shown that with your actions. Tell her that you look forward to the time that you spend together and that you would like so see her more often, and that you think about her when she isn't around. Just don't get too gushy yet.

 

The thing is, Mentor, Is neither of us have a car so we are limited to walks outside the mall.

 

The only time I get with her alone is the short time she got after work and that is only if she finishes at 6pm. She is going to be working somewhere else like I said earlier, what can I do then? I'll have to drive half an hour to get where she is. I'm gonna have to make a day out of it, don't you think?

 

You still have 2 months before she moves away. Use that time to get to know each other. By then you will both know if this is worth the effort to continue. You are thinking too far ahead, although someone mentioned getting your license, and a car. That is a good idea. Live for this moment right now. This can be the best, most terrifying time in a relationship.

 

As for now, can you walk her home from work? Are there things to do along the way (restaurants, etc.)? What about the beach? Do you really need a car to do anything where you live? If so, what about picking her up in a taxi, or convincing an older brother or something to chaufeur you two. It sounds like she really likes spending time with you, I don't think that she will care how you do it.

 

You really need to ask her out on a date. You know better than I or anyone here what the possible activities are. Minigolf? Bowling? A picnic in the park? C'mon man, there has to be something that you can do there!

[Scootchy]

You'd be surprized what activities we don't got here, Mentor.

 

Thanx alot Mentor, you've really showed me a way to win her heart if I haven't done so already apparently.. It will be hookline and sinker when transport isn't an issue. I'm just really scared that someone will win her over before me. So far no sign of this would be intruder...but who knows.

 

Thanx alot man. I'll be keeping you people up to date. Thank you so much Mentor! Merry Christmas!

 

Please let me know if anyone still got something they'd like to mention or suggest. Every little bit is welcome and appreciated!

[larajenkins4]

she likes you! from what uve told me, it sounds like shes really interested, do you ever return those nice sms? i think shes in the same situation as you, doubting whether or not you would say yes. i think u shud gradually introduce things that wud suggest your friendship is more than that, even though right now it sounds like it already is! good luck, let me know how it goes!

[Scootchy]

Yes I did reply to those nice sms' I got from her. I shall keep you people posted. Thanx and merry Christmas!

[Scootchy]

TEXT MESSAGE receiveD CHRISTMAS MORNING: I already told SANTA what I want for Christmas - a good friend who will stay forever. So if a fat man comes around & tries to wrap you up...please co-operate!

 

You think she sends this to every male friend she's got?

[Mentor]

TEXT MESSAGE receiveD CHRISTMAS MORNING: I already told SANTA what I want for Christmas - a good friend who will stay forever. So if a fat man comes around & tries to wrap you up...please co-operate!

 

You think she sends this to every male friend she's got?

 

No, but you are perilously close to the dreaded "friend zone".

 

Ask her out!!!

[Scootchy]

I can't walk anywhere with her except around the mall. We got no car and it's not that type of city where you can just walk about casually. I need a car. That's still going to take a while since I haven't even began parking yet. Her birthday is way at the end of February and past Valentine's day.

 

She'll be working in a different mall half an hour's drive away at the start of January. Should I still go with that "looking forward to spending more time" speech and "I think you're special" speech? Should I just tell her straight up that I want us to be more than friends? How can I say that?