Anyone know why she acts like this?

[spidartanks]

I'll make this short, but we broke up 4 months ago. she insisted we'd be friends and she always wanted me in her life. in the past 4 months we have seen eachother twice and talked on the phone rarely. she makes me kind of feel unwelcome to call her, so i leave her to call me.

i always wanted her back and she knew that, maybe she was worried.

we do love eachother very much and get along great.

she has another boyfriend and i have no one, i have been seeing a few girls but nothing major.

I am comfortable with asking her how her new bf is doing and she really shy's away from the subject. for example her computer is broke, she e-mailed me on the phone i asked if it was fixed and she said in a quiet voice she used "another" computer and i happily asked whose. she didnt want to tell me but eventually told me her bf's!! also when i ask how things are going and how is he doing she just sort of sais oookkaaaayyy...and things change.

she also asks me all the time what i am doing for the weekend, followed by Who with? like for New years, she asks what iam doing and who with.

 

I'm not trying to dig deep into this but to me it seems that she is jealous of girls that i hang out with and insecure with her current relationship at the same time, she never sounds happy with it?

i dont know maybe i'm wrong, i really do want to become GOOD friends with this girl, we are getting better with eachother and we are going out for dinner over the holiday break. I also plan on calling once a week and inviting her out.

The ONLY thing that i can and wont deal with in our relationship is the new bf being there at the same time...

 

any thoughts here?

 

Happy Holidays to all

[kalshane]

If you're not ready to deal with the new man in her life, you're not ready to be friends. To be honest, you sound rediculous asking her how her boyfriend is doing and she knows that. That's why she says,"oookkkaaayyy." Why are you doing that??!! It seems that the two of you are way into "whose with who", in a somewhat weird way, that seems awkward to me. Why are you going to dinner with her? Can her boyfriend come? No. Sooo, basically how would that make you feel if you were him? Are you rewarding her for finding a boyfriend so quickly with a meal or something? Rescue your dignity and leave her and her boyfriend alone for a while.

[lost and lonely]

she doesn't feel comfortable talking about that stuff with you....and thats understandable.... but..I also know how you feel.....similiar situation here....broke for 5mnths ..she has someone, I don't...and we talk once in awhile, we are also planning on getting together 1 day over the holidays, and I don't want him around.....not sure how I would react.....would make it auckward, and hard.........but I still wanna try and become friends again..

I think you are both just being normal, so...don't let it bug you..or at least try and not let it.......your both in kindof a feeling out stage....

hopefully all works out, and you 2 can become friends again......good luck with everything.

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

I agree with kalshane on what he says, though he puts it into a humuorous manner.

 

It seems that both of u are from the same planet. She is jealous about u and that gal, mary, jen, or gem. And u are jealous about her bf, like as if he has a better computer than u.

 

Seriously whats up with u guys? Are u playing love game? U need to sort things in ur heart. Do u love her or not? If u do love her, set her free to be with her bf, as U had demanded that freedom to be with other gals last time. Arent u shld be happy with a wish that is granted to u?

 

If u wanna to wish her merry xmas, meet her and her bf. U are supposed to be gentleman abt it. (U shld understand why she chooses him over u and why u chooses the others instead of her? )

[Double J]

Spidar,

 

I'm guessing you're probably in your early teens. I think you should move on; you have plenty of time and enough girls in the world to choose from. Untangle yourself from her - Why are you going out to dinner with her and so on top her b/f? Leave them alone, man. I know you obviously still have feelings, but you have to accept the fact that she's with someone else now. Meet other girls and distract yourself. She obviously didn't waste too much time after the breakup in looking for someone else - You should do the same.

[spidartanks]

Thanks for the advice everyone, like i said i dont want to analyze this in too much depth.

 

she wants to be friends, it is her decision. i thought i WAS being the bigger man by showing her that i didnt mind her haveing another boyfriend, thats why i ask hows things and how he is??

i dont know maybe i'm wrong!

 

either ways, we are going to get together over the holidays, as friends. she tells her new bf about when we talk and when we hang out so that shouldnt be a problem.

 

like a lot of you said, just give things time to fall into place.