she called

[zab]

yeh well for all of those who have been keeping with my story heres whats happened now. Im still madly in love with my ex but she called me yesterday and said 'ive been thinking n maybe we should just be friends for now' so i said 'yeh cool whatever' (acting very laid back and not showing her how bothered i am).

 

Anyways the other thing is i talk to her cousin a lot as they all think shes is stupid for breaking up with me, i found out she was drunk when she actually did it so that pissed me off a bit and she broke up with me when she got a new job which i pushed her into getting as she wanted it so much but im beating myself up about it as if she hadnt got that job she wouldnt have broken up with me. The reason for this is that she has begun to think of her ex (1st love) as she is working where they met etc etc easting where he worked before (he doesnt anymore) on her breaks and he is on her mind again for some reason, i dont know why exactly. I just wanna know if shes thinking of him as shes hurting over me or just because shes falling back in love with him again even though they have had no contact at all for like a year or so, its getting to me bad, have any other girls on this forum ever done that before?

 

Zab

[ajk]

hey zab,

from a female's perspective (though i think it applies both male and female) i'm sure that thoughts of him are confusing her. my ex has had a bit of the same reaction with me (he's male) because he is now at grad school where his ex went (when she broke up with him after being away a year). the thing is that he doesn't look at it that way, not realizing how thoughts of her may be affecting him. your ex most likely does not fully realize that as well, or that her decision in relation to you may be pushed by her confusion about her past break up.

i did read someone else's post on this site this morning that i think was good advice--i can't remember in what topic--but it basically said that regardless, we are not here to explain to the other person what they are confused by, not here to 'fix' them, and that it drains us, is arrogant of us, hurts us, etc., if we try. if you can let go whatever worries you may have about what your ex is feeling and why, that is the best thing for you.

she has to work through her issues herself, probably on her own.

 

her being drunk when she broke up with you IS annoying. but most of all, potentially problematic for even having a relationship with you. did she argue with you when she was drunk a lot? you don't have to divulge if you don't want, but i think it is something to think about, if it applies.

take care--

ajk

[Bibora]

Hey Zab, how you doing buddy?

 

Wow breaking up when drunk? Great...

And your ex was thinking about her old boyfriend? Where did i see that too? Oh wait, my ex did the same... Always thinking on her ex, how things were, etc. Actually sometimes i felt i was being compared with them. Of course she would tell me it was nothing like that but i don't know...

Actually the last weekend we were together i took her accross a famous bridge by car and took her to a shopping mall and she was always remembering when she was there with her ex. Really put me upset about it...

 

Well further info about my break up, found out today she is already over me. So i'm just wasting braincells thinking on her...

 

Hope everything is going well with you. Just try to move on, and enjoy your life. You are young and smart.

 

Take care.

[zab]

hey nuno thanx bro chat 2 u on msn most likely lol. And to AJK, well she never argued when she was drunk she rarely was etc she got more horny more then anything when she was tipsy lol. I dunno i guess i should leave her to divulge into her feelings herself and see where she comes out but do you think that she would come back, do they usually do that when they have these thoughts, i dunno

 

Zab