i want to get her back , but how ?

[REALITYMAN]

hi , i have a long story . i was in a long term relationship and we were planning on getting engaged and eventually get married . i have known her 7 months and we lived together for 2 months . she had plans to go to university here and even open a small business and i was all for it . she seemed happy and we spent alot of time together and it was great . she had all these ideas and plans for our future . i truly love her . she has a sister and her dad living out of state . he called and told her that he wanted her to come back . she told me that she told him that she would not . she told me that she will be with me . we continued talking about our plans for the future . two days later she was visiting her mom as she always did on the weekends . i was expecting her back . she emails me that she flew to be with her dad and sister and there were some problems she needed to deal with . i gave her my support and told her i am here weaiting . she said she would explain . she needed time to sort things out . well, one month went by and she still had not explained . i called and wrote for 2 months . i asked for her to come .she told me she would come to visit . she signed up at university there .she began school . i was not happy , but i figured it would be temporary . i ketp writing and asking about when she would come ? i told her i wanted us to be together for the holidays . well , she wrote back that she decided that hewr life is great where she is and she is happy she decided to go there and i should just move on . i asked her why ? she said she did not love me and i should just accept that i could not be her boyfriend . this was a total shock for me . she never explained anything and then says this . so i decided to tell her that i love her and i do want us to be together , but it is her decision . i basicallt lry go and left it in her hands . now it has been 2 weeks and i have been doing no contact . i am confused and wondering will she come back to me ? what does it all mean ? what should i do ? we were so happy and i love her so much . thank you for your input . i am sorry if it is lengthy to read . happy holidays , r.m.

[abcjmt]

From what I read it sounds like her dad convinced her to stay or that you wert a good guy or something, or maybe just something of a family matter came up. Now I don't know what you relationship with her parents are or if you ever met them or what not have you. But anyway, if her dad and you did not get along or he didn't like you then most likely it would be that he convinced her to stay, but then again could be nothing of the sort. I have seen this happen many times in my area were the daughters parents get involved and forbid the daughter from seeing the guy, sad but happens still.

My best advice is just to wait some more and see what happens, if she restarts communication with you or not and all. Just give it a bit of time. But be prepared for the worst.

Good luck with it all hope it comes out for the best for you.

JMT

[ticklebug]

reality,

 

I think you pretty much know what happened, you just aren't ready to accept it yet.

 

A lot of couples talk about future plans, just talking about it doesn't make it a reality though (no pun intended when it comes to your screen name)

 

I'm going to assume her parents support her financially, she depends on them for pretty much everything and it's obvious that her parents have the final say in what she does with her life. I'd imagine they felt that she was too young to be making marriage plans...and more than likely were not very happy about the two of you living together...have they ever even met you? (the parents)

 

Bottom line is that she was not in a position to make her own life decisions, and she chose to be loyal to her family instead of you...probably for many reasons.

 

Are you two of the same nationality and/or religion by chance? If not...that could have a lot to do with it, especially if her parents disapprove.

[HajiMaji]

Hey man, yeah that situation seems very similar to mine. The seperation has been shorter for you. Dude, i wish i knew some awesome words to give to you. I dont know any, but good luck man. Damn getting your heart set on a future that falls through!!@!@ Its the worst!

[ash1976]

Hi

 

Yeah that can be very shocking what you are going through and stressful.

Remember you can do all that you can and wait or move on. Ask yourself this question what have I not done to get her back? If you have done what all it takes then dude, the least you would have done is to show her how much you love her. Her loss.

 

I do not know her so I can't judge her. Take a break for a while, do all the things that a single person can do. But do so only after you are sure that you have done all that you can to get her back. Then once you have done that to no avail you will realise that it is not worth it and you will soon grow tired of it.

Thats when you are ready to move on with your life. Take some time out.