RobustMouse Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 How do you become a guy's friend? This guy that I'm crushing on is someone I will never be in a relationship with. Not now, not ever. He would never have any interest in me. I knew that from the beginning and have basically accepted that. But on the other hand, I can't force myself to stop 'liking' him and I still want to be his friend. The problem is, I don't know how. I've talked to him on the phone three times, we get along and can laugh together. I sent him a greeting card on Thanksgiving. We are strong aquaitences(Sp?). I'm not sure how to gain his friendship. I have low self-confidence so its a nightmare when I try and call him. Last night I spent 2 HOURS trying to get the courage to call him-and just couldn't do it. It was a pathetic sight! I am planning to call him today though. (Noon) How do you talk to a guy? How am I supposed to be his friend if I can't even call him to give him a compliment! I'm so worried about what he thinks of me. I'm afraid if I call him-he won't want to talk to me, like he'll hate me. But thats stupid because why would he hate me if I called to give him a compliment? We actuly have quite a bit in comman, and but I'm so afraid talking to him! I'm afraid I'll make a fool of myself and he'll dislike me. Link to comment
Roasted Carrots Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 To work on your self confidence, try reading those self-help books or talking to yourself in the mirror. Think positive thoughts, and smile confidently! The great thing about guys is they seem to understand you a little more while judging you a little less. If he's as great of a guy as you think he is, he'll appreciate your company, or at least your compliments. Talk to the guy same as you would any of your other friends: casually, be fun, be creative, and hopefully you'll gain a new buddy. Link to comment
shuntaro603 Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 act the way u r when u r with ur friends. Try to relax. Look for chances to spend more time with him, let him know u better. Good luck Link to comment
RobustMouse Posted December 20, 2004 Author Share Posted December 20, 2004 But what if he doesn't want to talk to me? I know he will listen and say "Thank You" but, what if he cares heckless wether I gave him a compliment or not? Or even talk to him? Link to comment
DropToZero Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Hey Vaxil, I hate to admit it, but I have the same sort of problem with a girl. But I'm glad I had a talk with another friend who set me straight on this. You will have to work up the courage call him, but what YOU NEED to learn is to STOP CARING what he thinks of you. Its what a lot of ppl say when they tell you to 'be yourself' and you need to learn it. The more you think about how he thinks of you, the more you WILL screw it up b/c you'll think about it too much. So do yourself a favor, relax, he's just a friend, nobody's gonna hate you for giving them a call or compliment... Link to comment
dancergirl87 Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 wow. you sound like me a few years ago. i liked this guy and was always so nervous around him. years later (now) he's one of my best friends. so i was talking to him the other day and i was like "dude, i liked you for like 3 years. why weren't u interested in me?" and he told me that it was cuz i was always so nervous around him. it made me seem fake. i had no confidence in myself which was totally unattractive. we started becoming friends when i started getting over him. that was when i started becoming totally myself around him. he also told me that after i got over him (after he got to know what i was really like w/o being fake) he had a major crush on me but didnt want to ruin the friendship that we just started so he never told me (till now). so my advice is imagine that you're attracted to someone else around him. that makes u less nervous. it totally worked for me but it wasnt cuz i was imaging that i was attracted to someone else, i was just tired of being someone i'm not in order to attract him. and dont worry about acting silly around him. the "real" me is a giant goofball and he thought it was totally funny. Link to comment
RobustMouse Posted December 21, 2004 Author Share Posted December 21, 2004 Thank you so much Dancer and Awsome, that ment a lot to me. It made so much sense to me. Thank you. My concern is off the wall. Pathetic even. I admire this boy so much, its not only that I crush on him. To have someone that I admire dislike me tears me inside. How should I try and not care what he thinks of me? Link to comment
dancergirl87 Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 i get this feeling that you're attracted to him b/c of his attitude not his looks. you need to know that you're better than him (which you probably are). turn your attention towards someone else. someone better than him. Link to comment
RobustMouse Posted December 21, 2004 Author Share Posted December 21, 2004 I don't know Dancer, his looks was probly the first thing I noticed about him. I'm pretty physicaly attracted to him. Infact, I hate the way hes so hard to talk to! Better then him? How could I be better then him? Link to comment
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