I feel guilty!

[honeybunniey]

My gf of 8yrs left me behind and went on a trip saturday, knowing I was excited, I already bought my plane ticket, and bought gifts for her family.

Iam 31 yrs old and a little old fashion when it comes to love. I went out last night and had a little bit too much to drink and ended up kissing some one. I have never done this through the eight years of relations with my gf. Iam very faithful. The kiss felt good as well as having someone to talk to and laugh with. My family and friends are so angry with my gf for her previous actions and said I have every right to never speak to her again (MOVE ON, YOU DESERVE BETTER). On the otherhand, I feel so guilty about this kiss last night. I feel like a big cheater!! Its not me.

How do I stop feeling like this? Is it normal to feel this way over a kiss with a stranger? My gf has made me angry, sad, and confused.

Any advise is greatly appreciated! Thanks

[Roasted Carrots]

You posted on this subject before, and we advised you to talk to your girlfriend of 8 years and find out WHY she left on the plane and acted rudely. Did you ever talk to her?

[Beec]

As far as cheating goes, I see this as an infraction, but rather minor. Face it, you cheated in how you felt, but did not "exchange bodily fluids" with her. Whatever you do, don't go and confess this.

 

Figure out how you feel about your gf, and why you did this.

[honeybunniey]

No I have not spoken to her. She is in Honduras visiting with her family and Iam in Texas at home. I will not be able to speak with her until she gets back next week.

[Roasted Carrots]

She doesn't have a cell phone with her? Do you know her folks' number's

 

Whatever her reason is for her actions, the fact is you were hurt. You need to think about what happened and list out your argument for when she comes back - but do not agrue when she returns home. You and your girlfriend need to get everything out in the open -obviously, something is not working in your relationship, otherwise she would not have left on that plane, and you would not have kissed another girl, right?

 

Try not to stew while she's gone, otherwise when she returns, you'll just blow up at her, and that will not help matters. Instead, immerse yourself in work or a hobby, or try talking to someone who knows you both (like a mutual friend) to pinpoint what went wrong.

 

Try your best not to accuse her, don't be angry, and keep your cool. Remember, you made mistakes too (even if it was a "minor" infraction, you DID kiss another girl ). Try to work things out. Try to be forgiving.

 

I wish you two luck. Take Care!

[ReadyorNot]

Why did she leave without you?

[11flower]

I thought that when a couple stays together for at least 7 yrs, they are now common-law-married.

 

You should both talk about it and decide what you want to do in your relationship. What has been done is done. Still, you chose to go out and drink and kiss someone. Well, are there reasons you put yourself in this position in the first place? It seems more important to me that you work on why you even chose this...maybe due to some needs of yours, maybe your gf's that are not met in your relationship. What are you missing in your relationship with your gf of 8 yrs, if so?

 

I hope you two talk and decide what you want to do. It sounds that you're definitely at a turning point.

 

11Flower

[RayKay]

I thought that when a couple stays together for at least 7 yrs, they are now common-law-married

 

It varies from place to place but it is way earlier than that, around here it is only a matter of 6 months or so before you are common-law.

[honeybunniey]

Sorry guys, I forgot to mention that this is a lesbian relationship. We do not have to worry about common law. But, I want to thank each of you for your opinions and support.

[11flower]

Yes, I wondered whether you were lesbian or not. Sorry, still sounds to me that the same rules still apply. I know that most relationships in which common-law applies are heterosexual. But in the case where any two people are living together, sharing personal property, etc. Don't you think that this should apply as well? Well, I do. Even in non-romantic relationships or any business partnership there's always agreements. So, I don't even know whether what I'm saying helps you anyway....

 

Suze Orman advises any two people get a prenuptial contract/agreement.

Still I think because of your romantic involvement, you should still talk it out with your significant other. What are you gonna do? Stiill you are at a turning point.

 

In my state we don't define marriage as any other than opposite sex. But still again, you should do all the above.

Talk and decide what you and your significant other want to do from here on. Put it all on the table. We're talking about relationships, whether any kind of "---whatever--sexual", you know?

 

Let us know how it goes, if you wish.

 

11Flower

[honeybunniey]

If only there was a magical book with all of the answers!