Do I love him? And just who is he?

[RobustMouse]

Hi everyone, I've got myself in a bit of situation again. I need some advice for it. I'm so lost on what to do.

 

How do you know if you love someone?

 

I've been pondering this latley, I can't figure it out wether or wether not I still like this boy I met a few months ago at a community theatre play. I've talked to him several times. Hes quiet, very quiet, but not shy at all. (Lets say his name is Jason) I really used to be obbessed with Jason. I mean, really obbessed. I hated leaving practice because I wasn't able to see him, the week we had off really killed me. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was almost like a stalker! I was lucky enough that he and I became very good aquaitences.

 

After our play ended, we had a cast party at an amusement park. I even hugged him good bye...

 

...and then I got over him!

 

Yes! After nearly three months I felt as if I was over him. I called him five times but, I never had any kind of contact with him other then that.

 

But I was over him! I didn't care anymore! I thought "I loved you, and I'll always remember you, but I'm over you!" I honestly thought I didn't care anymore about him.

 

Until Friday. Some of the cast members were asked (Not by him personaly, but by a stage manager) to go see a play he was in.

 

I went and saw it, I didn't think I would care if I saw him again. I didn't think he would have any kind of affect on me. But he did sadly. When he launched out onto the stage, giving a war like cry for his part, I was mezmorized. There was Jason, the boy I loved, and the one I had not seen for nearly three months! I swear I instantly fell for him again. I watched the play, I was able to sit next to his Mom, we talked, and I got to know more about him.

 

I watched the play, but I was focused solely on him. Memorizing his body motions. embarrassingly, his costume had TONS of rips, I looked at him. It was just like it was in the play.

 

But now...I am so confused on what my feelings are. When I saw him again on Friday, it was like, just weird. I don't know anymore. I don't know if I still have feelings for him!

 

Right now, I wish I could see him and talk to him. But it's more like...Like I want to get to know him better. When I think of talking to him, its not even "Lets get together kind of way" its more like. "I want to get to know you, I want to be your friend" and "Are you my Soul mate?" and "If you are, will we end up together"

I feel an attachment to him I can't describe.

 

I look on him with admiration, very big admiration. But I assure that I don't _think_ it's only admiration. I'm so confused on wether it's love or something else.

 

Sorry that took so long...Thank You.

[usied]

um i dont think this is love..you don't really know this guy at all..like you said aquaintences. but it seems that you feel strongly about him and have alot in common so with that said i would def!! work on getting to know him better! good luck

[Caldus]

Sounds more like lust to me but what is preventing you from talking to this guy more? Why not get his phone number or something? Surely there's a way to communicate with him more. You seem very attracted to him so what do you have to lose? Just figure out a way to communicate with him more. Good luck.

[RobustMouse]

Jason is a very weird person. He is quiet as a mouse. He hardly ever talks. He only "comes alive" when hes performing in a play. Thats his true passion in life. He is very direct. "Yes" "No" "Five years" "Maybe"

 

It is SO hard to talk to him. It's almost crazy!

 

on top of that, I do have his number and his address. I've sent him a greeting card, and called him several times. But I am so afraid that he will hate me if I call him up and disturb him. Or think I'm weird...I'm worried of what he thinks of me. I'm to sared to call him because I'm afraid I'll make a fool of myself and blow it. Or annoy him.

[Caldus]

Would you rather never know what he would've thought of you or would you rather give it a shot? What do you have to lose? I think you would feel worse if you never even tried, wouldn't you agree? So try giving him a call some time or maybe just send an e-mail (whatever you feel like doing) and just keep the initial conversations light. Get to know him better.

[RobustMouse]

I know for a positive fact that he doesn't, and never will like me. I accepted that from the beginning since I first met him.

 

How am I supposed to talk to him? And what if he doesn't want to talk to me?

[Caldus]

I know for a positive fact that he doesn't, and never will like me. I accepted that from the beginning since I first met him.

 

Did he actually tell you this? Or are you just believing that he doesn't like you?

[RobustMouse]

No, but honestly, I'm not even his friend. He much less has or could have a crush on me!

[Caldus]

He much less could have a crush on me ...

 

Doesn't mean that it is factual information is it? You haven't heard him say that to you. Give yourself a chance and just try and talk to him more. I think you are just very worried about his reaction.

[RobustMouse]

Your right. I admire this boy like I do a celebrity, and I admire to him to a great extent. To have someone that I admire to that degree dislike me in anyway would tear me up inside. Your right, I'm afraid of what he thinks of me. I'm trying to be his friend, I have low self-confidence, and I'm afraid of making a fool of myself in front of him.

[Caldus]

Then gather up some courage, suck it up, and just give it a try. Sometimes that's the only thing you can do. I remember the first time I got a girl's phone number and was so scared to follow through by calling her the next day. I eventually just sucked it up and gave it a try and it surprisingly did not go bad at all. He's not going to sit there and judge you the whole time anyway. You make it seem like he's sitting there thinking about what kind of person you are the entire time you are talking to him. Don't view it that way. Be yourself and enjoy the chat!

[RobustMouse]

The question is; is he?

 

What if he doesn't care if I call him or not? What if he wishes I would NEVER call??

 

I've called him five times, and talked 3 times. We don't blankly talk, I do carry on conversations. Its just that this particular time its POINTLESS! I want to give him a compliment, the other times its been that I need a question answerd.

 

He never had said "Leave alone" or "stop calling me"...but what if he is?

[Caldus]

It's not a matter of answering the "what if's" because you do not know for a fact whether he is interested or not. You are still very worried and I can understand that as you seem to be very attracted to him. Stop worrying!

 

I'm sure he would love to hear your thoughts on his recent performance. Worst case scenario? He'll just say that he is not interested or something like that. At least in that case you gave it a try and no longer have to wonder whether he is interested anymore. And that means that you can move on. But don't assume the worst. As I said before, give yourself a chance and gather some courage.

[RobustMouse]

Thank you so much Caldus. I appreciate your thoughts. It really helps...

 

I'm just so lost. I don't want to take the chance thats what my problem is. Because in my mind I know that in reality if he really is "stuck up" like 'what ifs' are making him sound like then really just worth it.

[Caldus]

Well, if you don't take the chance then how will you ever know whether it would've turned out good or not? Don't you want to know? You do not know yet. You can convince yourself to not call him, but you're only going to frustrate yourself in the end (especially if you're so attracted to him).

 

Another suggestion for you is to browse through some other topics in these forums that deal with this kind of topic. I know there are several out there somewhere.

[RobustMouse]

Caldus, I'm not going to ask him out. I could never ask him out!

 

Your right. I'm going to call him and see how it goes. He he talks, then it shows that theres a chance we can become friends, if not, then I'mgoing to assume that hes not worth it.

 

Thank You again.