Why would a woman be so hostile/shy/reluctant?

[RensoreK]

At my job I've recently started noticing Im very attracted to this specific girl, I barely knew her name and what area she worked in, I found out her name, and I always say "Good Morning" to everyone, even the ladies and sometimes talk to a few if they like...anyways..

 

 

This specific girl, she makes NO eye contact with me, AT ALL, if I say good morning she says it back but with a low tone or like if it was mumbled, but Im serious I can look the girl straight in the face and she will not look at me, talk to me nothing. Like she hated my guts. I have done nothing to her (or anyone else for that matter) im a real nice guy, real polite, and not a jerk at all. I did see her look in my direction once (maybe accident) but she diverted her eyesight down. I assumed she was just shy but to me now that I'm checking her out more, she seems like she doesn't want to come in contact with me by any means. I'm really confused. Anyone experienced or done anything like this?

[Caldus]

I used to get that sometimes. Either means they are shy or just trying to show that she's not interested through her body language (or possibly some other reason that I cannot think of). Not really sure which though.

[shes2smart]

Some people are just not outgoing. They'd rather focus on their work than socialize. I'm one of them.

 

If you know you haven't done anything to offend her, then don't take it personally. If you're not sure, then politely ask her if you have done anything to offend her.

 

Last place I worked I had a bit of reputation for being kind of stand-offish (putting it nicely). It's not that I had anything against anyone...I just did not like to be interrupted when I was working on something or thinking about something which happened to be most of the time. Also, there was very high turn over there, so if someone wasn't around for about 6 months, I never bothered with them unless I absolutely had to in order to do my job. I figured why waste the brain cells if they can't stick around that long. I had worked there for 10+ years.

 

One other thing you need to keep in mind....even though you are attracted to her, some people simply do not want to date and/or develop outside of work friendships with people who work in the same place. Some people draw a very solid line between work life and personal life and the two just don't ever mix.

 

Right there's...what...about a half dozen reasons you're getting the (non)response you're getting. You'll notice they all have absolutely nothing to do with you, so I wouldn't let it bother you. Just keep being who you are (polite, friendly guy), and she may warm up over time...then again she may not. If she doesn't, I wouldn't take it personally at all.

[kalshane]

Yeah I agree, don't take it personally. Its probably something outside of work thats got her like that. People aren't they're behavior. Do what I do and "kill em with kindness". I totally love doing that to people who are like that. I treat em better than the people I'm cool with at work. It makes em squirm!

[RensoreK]

I've seen her during breaks and lunch and she's super nice sometimes quiet but shes a happy friendly girl. Shes got this one girlfriend she hangs out with and they talk ALL the time and I have been friendly to her girlfriend (though not interested and her friend is nice and respectful back). Maybe her friend is putting some bad info on me you never know) She does concentrate on her work, but I mean just the way she won't look at me anywhere near my face, and it's so obvious tells me something is wrong, either good or bad. I say this because once she and her friend where coming back from lunch walking side by side, so I said "Hi" in general to both, and her friend smiles and said "Hi" back but she looked down and acted as if she didn't hear or see me. Im just confused, I wish I could read her type of body language or something.

[Outlaw2747]

We are in the same boat my friend and let me tell ya, it stinks. It stinks even worse when I don't have the guts to actually go up to a female and say hello. For me, eye contact is one of the scariest things but it can also be the most positive experiences. I am not very good at advice but I will just have to say give it some time. Maybe something is disturbing her at the moment. But if this keeps up for too long, I say move on. Some people are just that shady ya know?

[Queen_Midas]

That's what I do with most men. I am terribly shy around men, I'm fine with the girls but awful with the guys. I am 20 times worse around guys I like..however if I like them enough I'll at least offer a smile.. Also if I think a guy is arrogant (even if i like him) then I'll make an extra effort to ignore him so as not to boost his ego anymore..

 

QM.

[RensoreK]

Today I saw her at work and I heard her talking to another co-worker and she was talking and having a normal cool conversation, and when my co-worker (an older guy he's about 35-40) she smiled but I was next to the guy and she didn't look at me, she walked by me several times today with a half smile on her face but looking more towards the floor. She seemed in a good mood. Either I carry money on my feet, or there's REALLY something interesting down there when I walk by lol. Geez come on, it's the ground, and I dont bite 8) . Any suggestions??

[joe45]

if i were ur Ren i move on to the next girl. talk to ppl that want to talk to u and are nice to u, ppl who don't want to talk to u or are mean to u just avoid em.

lots of hot good looking women in the world.

[mgirl]

Today I saw her at work and I heard her talking to another co-worker and she was talking and having a normal cool conversation, and when my co-worker (an older guy he's about 35-40) she smiled but I was next to the guy and she didn't look at me, she walked by me several times today with a half smile on her face but looking more towards the floor. She seemed in a good mood. Either I carry money on my feet, or there's REALLY something interesting down there when I walk by lol. Geez come on, it's the ground, and I dont bite 8) . Any suggestions??

 

Maybe she likes you and is shy.

 

I used to turn up to work and all i wanted to do was work and everybody was trying to be my friend and it used to really annoy me. I would act how she is acting, but if she is being nice to everybody else but not to you, maybe she is intimidated by you, or she likes you. I went through this with a girl i went to uni with for the passed three years. She would do the same thing. In the end i figured she was a bit intimidated by me. If i were you i would just forget about her. If she comes running, then you'll know why and you can deal with it then. But for now, move on and see what she does. If you are unaccessible, she might seek you out.

[RensoreK]

Well, I took everyones adviced and I basically moved on, and she comes by and she says Hi now and then and a word or two, shes still really shy, but at least I get SOME sort of response compared to before maybe If I just be easy and have small conversations with her she will open up more. [-o