PLEASE PLEASE HELP! DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ?

[MIKEDSF]

I WILL TRY AND KEEP THIS AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE, BUT I AM 25 YEAR OLD MALE, AND HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GIRL FOR 6 YEARS. I WAS HEAD OVER HEALS FOR HER, DURING THE LAST YEAR OF OUR RELATIONSHIP, I FELT LIKE I DIDNT REALLY CARE ABOUT HER AFTER SHE DECIDED WE SHOULD TAKE A BREAK. AFTER ABOUT 8 MONTHS OF US BEING BROKEN UP I REALLY REALLY MISSED HER ALOT AND KNEW THAT I WAS JUST PLAYING GAMES WITH HER, AND WITH MY OWN FEELINGS PRETENDING I DIDNT CARE. ABOUT A WEEK AGO I CONFESSED THE WAY I FELT ABOUT HER AND TOLD HER I LOVE LIKE KNOW ONE ELSE. SHE STARTED TO CRY AND TOLD ME SHE THOUGHT I DIDNT LOVE HER ANYMORE AND MOVED ON, AND MET SOMEONE ELSE , WHOM SHE IS DATED A FEW TIMES AND HAS SLEPT WITH. WHICH IS MY OTHER HUGE PROBLEM, SHE WAS THE FIRST GIRL I SLEPT WITH AND THE SAME FOR HER, I WAS THE FIRST GUY SHE SLEPT WITH. TO KNOW SHE HAS BEEN WITH SOMEONEE ELSE NOW, I AM CRUSHED. SHE TOLD ME IT JUST WONT WORK OUT AND SHE IS TOO SCARED TO GIVE US AN OTHER CHANCE, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE, BUT I KNOW I LOVE HER STILL SO MUCH, AND IF I DONT TALK TO HER SHE WILL STAY WITH THIS GUY, BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME ANYWAY YOU CAN, I AM SO LOST SHOULD I CALL HER SHOULD I NOT....

 

ANONYMOUS

[Boarderbuddy110]

Your right that is difficult... the best thing to do is move on... throw out her pictures, dont call her, erase all her emails, dont have any human contact with her at all for at least a month and if ur still in love with her let me know. Try to date other people.

[solstice48]

Sounds like you have a few tough decisions to make & your the only one that can make them. If you feel that you can talk to her & explain your feelings without breaking down into a bucket of tears pleading for her return then do it. Just make sure you've got your ducks in a row about what you want to say before you talk. Then give her space & time. This will be another tough part, waiting for her to make her decision about where you fit into her life. You'll probably do yourself a favor by planning for the worse. Go out with friends or do something to get your thoughts away from her for awhile. If she feels the same love that you do she'll be back. The other problem you have about having slept with another is a real tough one & its something you are going to have to deal with as soon as possible if she comes back into your life. Its something your going to have to accept & let go but I would definitely keep talking it over with her so she understands what your feeling. Good luck & I hope she finds her way back to you! Stay strong!

[MIKEDSF]

I DECIDED TO WRITE HER A 6 PAGE LETTER TELLING HER HOW I FEEL, AND HAVE NOT GOTTEN A RESPONSE SHOULD I CALL HER OR IT IS OVER FOR GOOD?

[Peter_L]

Hey man. First of all, wow that topic is short and to the point! And second of all, I too, have done a similar thing. But 6 pages?! Wow.

I wrote a almost 1 page email to my ex-gf explaining my frustration and how I still felt. She, fortunately, replied. You, however, aren't so fortunate - but I could most definitely be wrong.

Have you ever considered the idea she didn't get your essay on your feelings? If she did, 6 pages is alot. And she may not know what to say.

My suggestion is to confront her. Ask her if she received your letter. Ask you she didn't write back. It's the only way to really know why. Good luck.

[rintrah]

After writing the 6 pages though, did you feel better? The act of writing can be theraputic, even if no one reads it.

 

If you still have a lot of pent of emotions you need to express, write another letter to her - but don't send it.

 

If you continue to get things out on paper, you'll gradually get perspective and feel better.

 

Good luck

[MIKEDSF]

HELLO,

 

I WROTE THE ARTICLE PLEASE PLEASE HELP, AND RE PLEASE HELP ME,

I HAVE SPOKEN TO HER ON THE PHONE A FEW TIMES, AND SHE SAYS SHE NEEDS TIME TO THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING AND THAT SHE IS MESSED UP MENTALLY, AND SHE CANT CARE ABOUT ANYONE. SHE SLEPT WITH SOME GUY SHE MET WHICH IS INSANE AND SHE WOULD NEVER DO I WAS THE ONLY GUY SHE SLEPT WITH FOR 6 YEARS AND IT KILLS ME TO KNOW THAT SHE SLEPT WITH HIM. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO, I AM GOING INSANE KNOWING THAT SHE SLEPT WITH HIM, AND MAYBE CONTINUES TO SLEEP WITH HIM, ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE WITH HER, AND SHE IS WITH SOMELSE SLEEPING WITH THEM I THINK, I REALLY AM AT THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL, AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO>>>

[Alibi]

first, just stop for a sec. Clear your head, listen to some music.

 

Now, if i were you id just give her some space for a little while and then confront her with your feelings. Ask her exactly what she is feeling and then try to do your best to fix or at least heal anything that is wrong between yourself and her.

[Katelyn55655]

Mike....please re-focus on loving yourself and do whatever it takes to feel happy and secure again. You can't control what she does. Worrying and fretting about her won't get you anywhere but it might give you a powerful dose of insomnia. Please find a way to distract yourself and let go. The most important person in the world is you! If you don't have a good relationship with yourself, how can you have a good relationship with her? Say out loud "I am loveable" and "I deserve happiness." Try to visualize a year down the road when this won't be as painful. Trust me, it won't. Make a list of the things you enjoy doing and do them starting right now. Let her go. It sounds like she is creating distance but you want to close the gap, and you CAN'T because you can't control her, you can only control yourself. Don't take her sleeping with another guy as a slap in the face. Try to understand it has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, and EVERYTHING to do with her. She isn't sleeping with him to hurt you. She is probably sleeping with him because she is screwed up right now and doesn't know how to fix herself. And you can't rescue her. Only she can rescue herself. Search your motivation and understand that if you don't want to go crazy, you are going to have to get a grip. No one is worth this much pain. Please write back and let us know how you're doing.

[bzborow1]

I think you should have gone to see her in person, it sounds more authentic.

[MIKEDSF]

WELL, I SPOKE TO HER LAST NIGHT, AND SHE SAYS SHE LOVES ME VERY MUCH WHICH I THINK IS BULL!!! BUT ANYWAYS, AND SHE SAYS SHE JUST CANT GET BACK TOGETHER WITH ME AS SHE NEEDS TO CONCENTRATE ON HERSELF RIGHT NOW, BUT SHE STILL IS SLEEPING WITH THAT GUY SO I FIND THAT CRAZY, HOW CAN SHE SAY SHE NEEDS TIME BY HERSELF AND SHE CONTINUES TO SCREW SOME GUY, SO I GUESS UNFORTUNATELY IT IS REALLY OVER , I HAVE LAID OUT ALL MY CARDS AND SO HAS SHE, I TOLD HER GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE AND LETS SEE IF IT WORKS, SHE SAID SHE CANT SHE WOULD LOVE TO BUT SHE CANT, SHE SAYS SHE HOPES I FIND SOMEONE WHO MAKES ME HAPPY AND WISHES THE BEST FOR ME, WHICH MAKES ME EVEN MORE MAD. SO I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I REALLY LOVE HER STILL AND CANT LET HER GO, PLEASE ADVISE

THANKS

SO MUCH

[nyl]

you seems to be very smart and seems to know everything already. I totally agree on what you are thinking. I just want to let you know that words sometimes don't mean anything. Someone that tells you she love s and at the same time lives you, means that she doesn't love you. (or at least enought to be with you only). So she is just trying to make the break-up a sweet one. (kind of) She couldn't never say to you "oh yea, I found this new guy and I have such great sex that is unbelievable". She can't say that but she is probably thinking that. We can't control people. It is so sad, I know. Sometimes we loose too. We need to just accept the loss and find a better looking and smarter girl. Move on with someone else.