Married man cheating and not regretting it UPDATE!

[Mike_Wazowski]

Mike Wazowski here........Well..it's been a longtime since I was here last...My affair with the married woman has continued to this day..but as many of you gave me good advice, I failed to take and now I am going through HELL!....Needless to say th relationship is over and I ofcourse am hurting like I havev never hurt before........I'm married too and so is the other girl...we met at work...we still work together and every day seeing her is killing me..it really is....I was wrong to start the relationship but I am hurting so so so much that we are finished.......she broke it off with me.....I love my wife and kids but I now have a huge hole in my hurt that I don't think will ever heal.......Please don't rip on me for cheating, I need support to get through this bad experience in my life...Help me!

[Mikeh]

if you really love you wife and kids do you think you would done what you have done.

 

whats even more sad is that this is coming for a 17 year old kid.

lol god just reading your thing makes me pist.

[Mike_Wazowski]

Thanks for your sympathy!....I know i made a huge mistake, but I just got caught up in the situation.....man when I was 17 I thought like you did...I punched my dad in the face for looking at another woman(just looking, and thinking). Who would have thought I would be doing what he only thought about..........

[ticklebug]

that is what happens when you think with the wrong head.

 

I will not offer you any sympathy, you don't deserve it really...for the rest of your life you have potentially massively hurt innocent people, including your own children...because even if the affair is over...it still happened...and just because it is a thing of the past...won't give you any forgiveness....and any one of the people you unknoingly betrayed can find out at any time...

 

have fun walking on eggshells the rest of your life.

 

Now, for the "advice" - trying to put aside the infidelity aspect....

 

any broken relationship takes time to heal from...and you have to handle it just like any other broken relationship...get yourself involved in other activities...do things that get your mind off it.

 

The 2nd biggest stupidity is that you started an affair with a co-worker of all people...you may want to consider finding a new place of employment...consider it a fresh start.

[Mikeh]

thank you ticklebug. for now im no the only one.

[amanda22]

i cant offer you any sympathy either. i dont know whether to be angry or cry because of you incredibly selfish act. i would browse through the breakup forums if all you are looking for is how to get over the pain you feel, which is also selfish. maybe you should start thinking about someone besides yourself and start thinking about how you can become a better husband and father instead. maybe that can bring you some peace.

[avman]

You know, if you hadn't trotted out the affair in your previous posts like it was some sort of badge of honor I might be a bit more sympathetic. But you ripped on every member who told you the affair was a bad idea and that people were going to get hurt. You laughed at how clueless your wife was that this was happening and boasted that you were entitled to the affair and didn't regret it one bit.

 

My only advice would be to go get some counseling and screw your head on straight. Otherwise you'll just do this again.

[atlas]

A novel approach might be to focus on your wife and kids. Can't say I feel sorry for you either but you now have to do two things...1. Never be selfish enough to mention this to them (no matter what you feel) and 2. Be a better man than you were-with your family.

As bad as what you did, I have to say that I think trying to reignite the feelings you once had with your wife will probably make you feel better (and worse-hopefully).

 

Good luck

[arwen]

Why do you bother to post here when you already sort of restrict the possible replies by saying 'I just want sympathy' (like the last time), when you know from experience most of the people here will not be able to sympathise with you?

 

Stop feeling so sorry for yourself, this is all the result of your own choices.

 

Yes, I do feel sorry for you. Because after reading this, I have the feeling that although the relationship ended, you still haven't learned from this.

 

In fact, the 17 year old here seems to be wiser than you, and I think you are putting him down simply because somewhere deep down you KNOW he is right. Which is also why you ask for support here and not opinions. Just face the truth, it's somewhere inside you.

 

Ilse.

[mscolly]

To be honest, I do have some sympathy for you, even though my experience is from exactly the other side: I can see how my wife has and had suffered for her affairs these past 2 years.

 

You've been incredibly selfish during this affair. You've learnt something about yourself, put it to good use and dedicate yourself to your family. I wish you all good fortune.

 

As to whether you should confess, I don't know. I do know that the destruction of trust is terrible, but seeing your spouse weak and suffering and knowing why at least can also transform your relationship into something more real. After all, it's based on the truth, not fiction. This you have to decide for yourself, but with great courage. Look for the dignity, for yourself and your family, something you haven't done up till now.

[OceanEyes]

I'd like to ask you something (if that's ok). Before that, I'd like to say something. I don't think that you would feel this way if the girl you were having an affair with wouldn't have dumped you. So my question is:

 

Is what you're feeling right now remorse? Or is it pain because you've been rejected and now seem to have it rubbed in your face every day at work? It just seems to me like you feel defeated; tossed aside. It doesn't even seem like you feel bad for what you've done to your wife at all, but that you're hurting because this other woman simply doesn't want you.

 

I'm asking because it doesn't seem like you have any plan to try and patch things up or make things up to your wife, and your family. You seem to be stuck in this rut of feeling like you're the victim, it's you who needs support and kindness. I think that if you found a new approach, which would be to focus on the well-being of anyone but yourself, you might actually find some inner peace. You would be surprised how good it feels to love someone more than you love yourself, and to think about them before you.

 

You can't ask for support and understanding when we know that you've made your own bed. You bragged about cheating on your wife, and didn't feel bad about it at all until you were dumped. Everything seemed to be going great while things were going your way - but now Karma seems to be paying you an unpleasant visit - and it's something that should actually be teaching you a valuable lesson in life and love. Be honest here: you don't actually feel bad for what you've done, but that things haven't gone your way.

[eltee]

I won't give you sympathy, BUT I won't judge you or demean you either. People make a lot of mistakes in life, we all aren't angels and others will never know how it feels to be in your shoes while making the wrong choices. We can only look ahead and learn from the mess we've made. Even though, it took HER breaking up with you to see the mess you've cause, you still acknowledge that you screwed up, and that is a great way to change yourself. Reflect on it but move ahead. There IS obviously something that's not right in your current marriage that made you stray, so what you CAN do is seriously focus on that. Bring up the issue of unhappiness to your wife and seek counselling. If you stray again, please do us all a favor and close the door first before opening a new one.

[tiger_lilies]

Ya know Mike, I just read your first post of when you first started cheating on your poor wife and children! I am shocked that you feel that you can ask for sympathy when YOU were the one who initiated everything!

 

I'm so sorry that you are in pain, as we all know how it feels to be rejected, but I have to admit that you deserve it!

 

Does you wife suspect anything?

[amanda22]

you have made your bed, now lie in it...

[Mike_Wazowski]

Well......I must say that I have been selfish...and to answer someone's question, If I wasn't dumped I would probably have continued in the relationship......I hate to say it but I am so drawn to this other woman like a bee to honey...Even though I know what I was doing was and is very very wrong, I just couldn't stop going to her and being with her. Well..the problem solved itself cause she broke it off....Not because she doesn't want me as one poster commented, just because she wants to get things right with her husband....either way I think that this time(There have been other times when we broke up and got back together) it is over.....One person suggested I quit my job to get away from her....It's somehting I thought about and will seriously consider doing if I can find something better in the next few months....anyways...thanks