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I've been broken up with ex boyfriend for about 3 weeks now. We were friends before we went out and he was a great boyfriend for the most part. I spoke to him a few days after we broke up about how I would like to get back with him if I can sort out my personal problems which are the reason we broke up. He dumped me because I had a few bad days and those few bad days are now worse because all I can do is think of him. We only went out for 2 weeks, but were friends for ages before hand. He didn't even give me a chance in my eyes. He said he might consider getting back with me in the future but no promises so I know I need to get over him. But I'm confused. He's been taking drugs for the last 3 weeks. Well basically since we broke up and he's been really nasty to me and his house mates.

We had our first argument yesterday because he said that I wasn't being his friend I was being his ex girlfriend and everything I do seems to be to try and get him back. Thats not true, although I would like to give it another go with him I've been trying really hard to be his friend. But he hasn't been trying at all and it was his idea. He never invites me over, never asks me out with his friends etc.

I'd been going over to see my friend who lives there also and was speaking to her about the problem. Although I only met her when my ex and I were dating we got on really well and I was going over there a lot just before he moved in. Now he said I'm inviting myself over but I haven't been. It's often been pre-arranged with my friend Sam, or as she said to me 'your always welcome to come and see me' I occationally turn up after work for a chat with her before going to catch my train home. And he's angry at me for it. I used to go over every day! But now I'm only going over 2-3 times a week for a few hours to see my friend. I said to my friend that I'm not coming over unless dirrectly invited from now on and she asked why. When I told her she said that 'thats not right your always welcome over.' So now I don't know who to listen too.

I honestly don't think that there is any chance of my ex and I getting back together after this argument. What do you think? Is it just because he's taking drugs or is he just using that as an excuse?

I also said 'if you don't like me, tell me, I won't bother.' He said 'I never said I don't like you (insert name here)' he said he would try harder and invite me over and out for drinks. But I'm just sad that he won't speak to me about how he feels. Am I expecting too much now? I'm not going over until someone invites me, I'm not going to get coffee from his work place however nice their coffee is. I'm going to compleatly avoid him until he wants to see me. Is that the right way to deal with it?

Thanks for reading.


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quite frankly yes. If the girl lliving at his place is a friend of yours now, invite her out to do something...don't go over there...any time you go there IS going to seem a bit suspicious...


you two probably never should have taken your friendship to the next level as it is...and he more than likely regrets it...he misses how you were as a friend...


give it time...give him space...and if he ever comes back to you as a friend...don't even say word one about the few weeks you sent as more than friends...


the drugs he is taking has nothing to do with it...but I will say you can do a lot better, esp. if he is a drug user...that only leads to bad things.

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I'd pretty much realized it was a mistake. It's been 3 days of NC now but I'm keeping in contact to my friends by text and phone so it's not like I'm not hearing from them. He really honestly didn't seem like he regreted it... infact he said when he broke it off with me 'I don't regret anything I do' so I think he ment that. He is a very complicated individual. He seems to have gotten the wrong idea about me and trying to be friends with him... I gave up if he wants to speak to me or see me he can call.

Only problem being that he answers their house phone a lot and I was gonna call it to speak to my friend but I guess I'm gonna have to call her mobile since he'll have a go at me or something.

Anyway Thanks for the advice. Your probably right about most of it, some of it I wouldn't know.


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