Talked to New Guy

[ebola316]

I've been broken up for a little over 2 weeks. My story is floating around in the posts somewhere. We've had no contact for 4 days. It's really hard. I had to go on medication and am still not feeling well.

 

I met someone in a local ad. This is a very small town, and the dating opportunities are limited. This guy sounds like a very nice guy. He wants to meet for coffee tomorrow.

 

I'm new to this town, and don't know anyone. So I would really like to go,just to be able to get out of the house and forget about my problems for awhile. I talked to him about 3 hours on the phone tonight.

 

It didn't help, i'm still sitting here thinking about my ex, why he's not calling, does he have someone new?

 

Is it going to help me to go tomorrow for coffee?

Is this new guy going to be able to tell that I've been awake for most of two weeks, and haven't eaten anything substanial in days?

 

I'd appreciate any feedback from anybody. Thanks

[titan]

Persoanlly i think its a little early to think about dating someone but perhaps build a friendship with this fellow, and when you feel better if the feeling is there go for it.

[ebola316]

Yeah, I don't want a relationship. I'm just tired of staring at the four walls in a house I shared with him.

 

I haven't been out of here, no less gotten dressed in about 2 weeks, so I guess having a cup of coffee with someone isn't going to hurt.

[titan]

no not at all, don't drop everything you are feeling onto this guy, just be careful of that.

 

Otherwise have fun and who knows could be the start of a beautiful friendship and maybe more.

 

Have fun

[Ated]

Hey there ebola!!

 

Yeah i think meeting for coffee would be soo nice!! I mean as you said, you're tired of staring at 4 walls.

 

A point i was going to mention is already said by titan: "be careful", and that it has a potential to be the "start of a beautiful friendship or more"

 

NO harm... right?? And the fact that ur new to town, he can probably show you around which will be great!

 

As for your ex, that's another plus. It will occupy ur time and you won't think about ur ex for a while... But i STRONGLY suggest just having fun! No use thinking about an ex cos if u start to open pandora's box, it'll drive you crazy with the "what if", "is he"... which alll leads to >>>>>

 

...

 

a whole bunch of question marks!!! liek this ..?????? hehehe

 

Have fun ebola! U deserve it!

[ebola316]

Thanks Ated,

Now all I have to do is figure out how to cover the puffy swollen eyes, walk on the shaky dump-diet legs, and get my antidepressant-addled brain to get going and have a good time.

[titan]

just be yourself, let it flow naturally.

 

Have a good time and if you find yourself thinking about your ex, just tell yourself you will think about it later.

[ebola316]

Did you ever notice how we're making up our own vocabulary here, words such as dump-diet, ex-sex, and double-dumped.

[Sli]

Hi, it sounds so lonely up on that mountain

 

You need to build yourself back up ebola316, your self esteem has been trashed, you only have to listen to your current opinion of yourself… "puffy swollen eyes", " shaky dump-diet legs", "antidepressant-addled brain" maybe you're not quite in the right frame of mind to be dating just yet and I would guess that jumping back into an area of your life that has caused you such pain recently can't be healthy. You need to restore your faith in people 1st. One of the quickest ways to build back self esteem is to help others, that's one of the reasons this site is so useful.

 

Really if there's one thing I've learned it's that karma exists, why not create some good karma for yourself this Christmas and do some volunteer work or something. The more you help others the better you'll feel about yourself…worked for me anyway.

 

Take care

 

Sli

[ebola316]

I didn't go. Wasn't in any physical or emotional state to go anywhere

[amanda22]

sorry to hear, but i can understand how you feel. you cant force yourself to go out, its really hard. you will know when ur ready.

[ebola316]

yeah, I really blew this one. But I can't imagine being with anyone else but him. It just got me more depressed knowing that I'll have to sit and make small talk when I feel like I'm gonna die.

[amanda22]

your just not ready yet, its ok. i totally understand. my friends are always like come out to kareoke! itll be good for you. and all i can think about is a ll the scummy guys there and how all i really want to do is be with my ex. so its ok, dont push it. maybe it would be better if you instant messaged eachother for a while and got to know eachother a little better and that way you have more time to heal also.

[Mentor]

so its ok, dont push it. maybe it would be better if you instant messaged eachother for a while and got to know eachother a little better and that way you have more time to heal also.

 

I agree. If you didn't stand this guy up or something, then try just building a rapport with him through e-mail and/or phone conversation. Once you are ready to meet, you will not have the extra stress of meeting someone who is a complete stranger, but rather someone who is already a friend. I suspect that right now you could use a good friend more than a new bf anyway Who knows where it will lead after that, but you might have established a strong foundation (i.e. friendship) to build something more....

[Mentor]

Hey ebola316,

 

You really have to change your occupation in your profile! Being miserable LOL

 

I have been following your story closely. It sounds very tough to cope with, but this is no way to heal. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and pick yourself up! The next step that you need to take in feeling better is to want to feel better. I just wish that I could listen to my own advice I think that I (we?) revel in our misery as a way of holding on to what we have lost...maybe?!?