Help gf do the things she did before me

[John3]

Hello,

 

I have a wonderful relationship with a smart and beautiful woman. However, there is this small problem where she stopped doing the things she did before she meat me. She stopped going to the gym, she stopped exercising in the morning, she stopped reading, she stopped going for bike rides and in general she does it either sporadically or none at all. I have also stopped a few of my hobbies and I am trying to start again but this time with the companionship of my gf e.g gym

 

I have tried going alone so she can follow but it didn't work. I have tried taking her with me and telling her that I am not in the mood to go if she doesn't come since I need company but again she was tired. I tried to help her with her morning exercise by waking up early but that is yet to be discovered if it worked or not. I also talked to her and she said she wants to start all these stuff and its a matter of time and when she will decide to do it but the past 2 months haven't been very productive on this matter.

 

What are your suggestions? Have in mind that she is quite intelligent and she will understand any tricks I throw down her way

 

Thanks

[staysound]

does her stopping to do these things affect your love/attraction to her?

Because otherwise I don't see why she can not just do as she pleases?

 

I did hundreds of things daily when I was single. Some with routine, other stuff randomly.

I haven't given up all those things now that I'm in a relationship, but obviously, if I were to keep up with all those activities my relationship would suffer.

Not only that, I simply love to be and spend time with my boyfriend.

When you're single you try to fill up your alone time with things to do, gym, reading books or otherwise.

If she stopped doing all those things then maybe they weren't her true hobbies to begin with.

Or maybe she's still very much in her (yours) honeymoonphase and she will pick up on those stuff once that time has faded a bit.

 

Either way, if she doesn't see a problem with not doing those things anymore, I don't see why you should. It's still her life and her choices no?

Unless she's become codependent of you because of it. Then I'd agree with you. If not. I'd let her do as she pleases.

[agent1607307371]

Have you asked her why she no longer does these things?

[Kendahke]

maybe she feels that now she's got you, she doesn't have to do those things to keep you, which is one of the biggest mistake a lot of people make once they're in a relationship. "He/She should love me no matter what...." is a real unrealistic mindset. What you did to get them is what you have to do to keep their interest.

[Unreasonable]

Sounds like she might be depressed.

 

However, it is not uncommon for people to let themselves go when they get comfortable in their relationship.

[metrogirl]

Do you feel less attracted to her because she isn't working out?

[laninaperdida]

You need to stop being so co dependent on her to go.

I understand it's much more fun to work out with your partner, but when it comes to your body you're the only 1 who can change it.

If she comes when you go, great, but don't let that be an excuse any longer.

 

I'd be honest with her.

It may hurt her feelings, but so what?

THose pounds can pack onquick and then you're going to have other issues.

[laninaperdida]

maybe she feels that now she's got you, she doesn't have to do those things to keep you, which is one of the biggest mistake a lot of people make once they're in a relationship. "He/She should love me no matter what...." is a real unrealistic mindset. What you did to get them is what you have to do to keep their interest.

 

I couldnt' agree more.

I hate it when people use the "You should love meno matter what" line.

[pl3asehelp]

You'd be surprised how many people's sole reason for exercising is to hook a partner.