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Problems with sex and communication


Aloeruss

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Hello

 

Me and my wife of 7 years are madly in love with one another.

The problem I am trying to address would be not having enough sex.

 

She feels that I need to instigate all incounters and I am fine with that. My problem is that I am like big dummy don't know how to do it right.

 

I know that she likes me being a little ruff and use toys on occasion. I know that she loves when we have sex and she is able to have multiple orgasms every time, but I have to stay on top of it and make it happen.

I know that there is a lot of women here, so I am begging for your help.

Every time I hear romantic, romance, intimacy, foreplay, I just draw blank. Please help me with any leads on becoming a man that she cannot resist sexually because I can romance her.

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Not enough info here.. How often do you two have sex? How often do you wish to have sex? How often does she want to sex?

 

Please help me with any leads on becoming a man that she cannot resist sexually because I can romance her.

 

The problem with this thinking is you view sex as something you convince your wife to have. She has agency and her own libido -- which is independent of yours.. If you have seriously mismatch libidos you will not be able to "seduce" her enough to have sex as much as you'd like.

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Trust me. There is nothing of that nature. I am always trying to be gentle and there is no grabbing at all.

Right now we have sex maybe 2 times a month and I would like it to be at least double that. Twice a week if possible.

I usually kiss and hug and try to show intimacy by her just being in my hands. Never grab her in her private areas. I often bring flowers and always very nice and loving with my words to her. I deffenatley show care and help her every chance I get.

 

She say I cannot be romantic enough. I cannot lead to sex correctly. I miss opportunities every time. But to me, every time I look at her when we are home she either look tired or occupied with something. From my eyes she looks like she wants nothing but according to her I miss an opportunity....

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Shelty - she will not do it. Even if it's the last thing she will do. She is very stubborn to the point of excess. If she knows she needs to do something, it will never be done purposely.

She is a lady like you never met. She looks identical and she been told by many (I think even better) like Audrey Hepburn. But she has a lot of insecurities. She doubts her looks, but she is the most gorgeous. She doubts her actions but she is a doctor.. Very smart. She is a magician in bed, open to every single and little thing, but she thinks I am laughing at her when she does something outside of missionary. She works out most of the week and has the most amazing body. After having a baby, the only sign is her scar.

Mentally, there are things that she cannot control. Sometimes she will have an outburst of anger but will not know why she had it.

I really can continue here for a long time. She is my amazing love and I think I know her.

Me, myself.. I was married before. For 15 years and very unhappily. I suppressed my effections and worth and everything that shows love for so long that I feel challenged right now.

 

When we met, I was finishing going through a painful divorce with two kids involved. I was drinking every day and struggling with everything. She was a surgeon and was dating a successful lawyer. She was dating him for years and they were nearly getting married. I had lost everything in my divorce. Living at my parents home and just drinking uncontrolably.

After she saw me, by the end of the week she broke up with her fiancé and moved in with me to a guests house I was living in. I was still wrestling with alcohol and divorce, even calling her by my ex wife's name several times when we had sex. Her parents were devastated. Her brother wanted to kill me. She stuck to it! She stuck to me!

Sorry for a long message but I thought you needed to know.

 

Now, we live in a amazing home with a 3 year old boy. We have a German Shepard. Both of us work. She does work more then 2 jobs healing people and I have my own agricultural business. We do well and we are madly in love.

I read on the Internet about what the wife's do when she still in love. Out of list of 10 things, she does them all. I do to.

Sometime ago I realized that it would make me the most happiest if I would seized with any demands I may have and just bring my wife love and cater to her needs. I still try. I still enjoy it.

As you learned from my previous posts, I still don't do very well.

Sex and communication... She often does not find talking as important and we recently started having sex only 2 to 3 times a month. So, everything you say here to me I process as an important and valuable information that, thanks God, I have access to.

 

Sorry again for a long rant. I just felt like giving more proper introduction and sharing to show why your feedback is important

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