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Is he pulling away.. or is it just me..


dang001

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I met someone virtually through a friend. We hit it off via phone / Skype. Chat almost every day, talked on the phone and met informally through skype due to the long distance. We talked about the future. We are very compatible. We are both in our mid to late 30s. We finally met in person acouple of months later. We spent 2 weeks together and it was perfect. We talked about our future, how good we are together, being exclusive, having children, marriage etc. We made plans to see each other again. He was relocating closer for his job and we was waiting for the final result of his request. After the 2 weeks together we continued to chat online. But I noticed that we wasnt communicating over the phone as much and our skype session were few and far in between. I made mention of it but things still didnt change. He said he just been busy with work etc. When we did speak, we spoke for hours and things seem the same but the communication via chat and skype became minimal. Phone calls went from 1 or 2 times aweek to once every 2 weeks. This is in the course of a month or so this change started to happen. I am trying to keep cool but the distance between is getting very obvious and fustrating. His text messages seem unengaged and dry. What should I do??

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Well, this happens in most LDRs and I think you guys should meet up sometime soon. Ask him if he's having anyone else in his mind in an indirect way..as in " Am I still as interesting as I was then?" etc.

As far as I can say, He may really be busy cz you mentioned that he's expecting a job relocation etc. That is something that will surely keep anyone hectic! keep your calm..Dont try to nag him by calling up too often and saying "why didnt you call these days?" etc..It'll piss him off and make him feel that you dont understand what he's going thru, or you are self centred or such things, while your intentions are really good! Restrict yourself to a loving wake up text or a good night kiss for a week..Sometime in the middle of the day, just send him a "How are things going? how have you been?" text..

Never complain to him about your insecurity till you are very sure that something's wrong.

I'm sure a few words of patience and love will work wonders! You guys will get back to the same sweet life as before! Chill!

 

Source : Personal experience! teaches a lot!

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Personally, I would not ask if he has anyone else in his mind or "where is this going" because you've barely even gotten off of the ground AND you are long distance. I would not even initiate with him at this point. I would mirror his actions and try to not "put all your eggs in his basket".

 

Live your life and try to view him as an option at this point. Be open to meeting and dating others. His request to move closer has not even been confirmed, right? He's in the middle of a possible big change and his actions and lessening attempts at contact are what you should pay attention to.

 

I would pull back and just mirror his actions, be pleasant and breezy when he does contact you, and try to not take any of this personally. Exceedingly difficult, I know.

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If he started to become distant after your meeting in person, then sadly it's most likely that he was just not as into you as you were into him in real life. That's why meeting is so important and has to happen as quickly as practicably possible even with distance in the way. No amount of skyping, calls and emails can ever substitute for in person chemistry.

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