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We have opposite ideas! HELP!


pcmb

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I have been in this relationship for a couple of months now..

I am basically a girl who doesn't hang out with friends frequently, and doesn't go to any parties! I hate DJ Muzic and I hate the drinking n flirting n touchy stuff that comes along with it! (watched in movies!)

Well since I have never been to a DJ Nite even once, I dont have much clue about how it really is, except from a few scenes in movies!

My boyfriend who hasn't yet visited a DJ Party either, said he wouldn't mind trying! Matters became intense when I told him that I got disgusted after seeing few old friend's pics on FB..

The pics were all the revealing types, getting too close with many guys and dating a hundred more with no real deep emotions etc.They were totally not my type!

I like a real relationship which has real feelings and stuff like that! When I told him I got disgusted about their party culture, he said " its not exactly disgusting, i wouldn't mind that kind of life either!"

I got shocked! I love him so very deeply, this sentence of his troubles me! I trust him very much, but you never know what external influence can do to people..He's also my type presently, a "one-woman-man" and real feelings etc. But still I couldn't digest this!

How do I convince him that parties etc may have a negative influence ? I dont want him to get drunk, do something wrong cz of that..u know..

What exactly happens in DJs ? Pls help me!

Apart from this one thing, everything else is perfect in our relationship!

 

P.S. : Its a conservative Indian family!

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Go to one together and experience it. Movies are not real life and you don't have to act like idiots.

And for the record, a relationship is about letting the other person experience life and share it with them. Not about telling them what they are allowed/not allowed to do...

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I think everything depends on the kind of party and your boyfriend's attitude.

 

I've DJ'd at clubs & parties for the past 12 years and I've remained monogomous whenever I've been in a LTR with a girlfriend. There are always opportunities to behave badly, but most of the people I know go to clubs to dance and socialize with friends, not hook up.

 

FWIW, I've DJ'd Indian music for 8 years as well... and I've met some of my closest longtime friends through DJing those types of parties. It would have been a shame if I'd just stayed home instead.

 

So go to a few parties and try to ENJOY them with your boyfriend. If he's a good guy, he'll appreciate your efforts and pay attention to you... AS LONG AS YOU DON'T NAG & COMPLAIN THE WHOLE TIME!

 

Have an open mind, have fun, and then ask him to do something YOU like next time.

 

Good luck!

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You can't. You can't convince him of anything he chooses not to be convinced of. And it's your opinion and not fact that it's negative---because it's born out of fear.

 

In fact, a lot of what you're saying is born out of fear--fear of the unknown. You've never been to a DJ Night, yet you feel you are the authority on what goes on there. Movies don't cut it--that's not real experience--that's the writing of someone else that is being acted to a particular effect on celluloid and then edited for effect. It's all imagination and not real. And aside from the fact that it's a party, not a ceremony. What you're saying is like condemning a book without ever having read one word of the book... your objection has no credibility.

 

He's a grown man. If he wants to get drunk, he's going to get drunk. You aren't his mother, so you can't control him.

 

The best way to find out what goes on is to stop being afraid and go attend one.

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Hi Hi,,

 

going out is not necessarily a bad thing. It really depends on the type of clubs you go to. Some clubs are orientated for providing a social space i.e for people to hook up

other clubs can be more music orientated. Either way you're always going to have substances involved in these scenes. It allows people to escape their day-to-day life for a night, how far they take it depends on each person individually.

 

Personally I love DJ sets, where it's all about the music and everyone is dancing and the focus is on the music! It all depends on the type of music you're into though

 

Why not try out going to a gig together first? Just have fun, that's the main objective

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In fact, a lot of what you're saying is born out of fear--fear of the unknown. You've never been to a DJ Night, yet you feel you are the authority on what goes on there.

 

The best way to find out what goes on is to stop being afraid and go attend one.

 

Thanks a ton! I guess this is really true! Many things happen out of fear!

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