rvr350 Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Just went on a casual date with someone I met on the internet. Whenever she's speaking, i'd look her in her eyes contently, not too overdone. We have some eye contacts, but i also noticed she like to put her arm under her desk or just cross them most of the time. I don't know if it's a positive or not, but we did talked for a long time about work, family and other stuff. I know how important to strike a romantic note in a date, but somehow I just couldn't bring her to talk about it just yet. So for the gals, do you feel comfortable talking about relationship, about what you're looking for in a guy and stuff like this on a first date? I like her and would like to see something more than just friends in the future. Do you still think i get a shot? She agrees to go out again next week. Link to comment
ticklebug Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 crossing of arms is usually an idication of being nervous or uncomfortable, and considering the fact that this was your first meeting off of the internet....she was justified in being a bit nervous.... You know each other online, now is the time to get to know if who you think the person is online is who they are in real life...and many times, you will find it isn't...keep it light for now... I'm not big on the whole "what are you looking for..." line of questions...no one has the specifics to that, and honestly, if they do, they tend to be too picky.... basically, a person knows what they are looking for when they find it. Link to comment
Prosper Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Hi Pal, I dun have the best solution for u, as I dun know her very well, but seemingly from the way she behaves, she seems to be like putting u at an edge in which she can observe u and know u better.. Haha thats just her guard before she lets u in for u to know more. And YES! Be natural in ur approach and most important, like nature takes the course! If she's urs, she's URS! So for now, enjoy ur dates with her, dun press her too hard like an iron on clothes to set things straight, LOLx! U are doing fine.. Thanks for reading.. Link to comment
Lily04 Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Hey! I recently went on a date with someone & although I was interested in him I also crossed my arms sometimes & put my arm under the desk, just like your date..even didn't exactly face him sometimes, sorta leaned to one side which I just read is a sign that you're not really digging someone (usually you're directly facing the person you like). I tried locking eyes with him on several occasions though. It was just because I was a bit nervous..especially since you guys never met before I think it's totally understandable. Take it slow..don't talk about relationships, etc. yet. On my first 'date' with this guy (we just had coffee & talked..does that even count? lol) I just talked with him about school, friends, the holidays..when we actually start dating if he asks I might mention something about my past relationship & what I'm looking for now. But until that point..it's just a tad too soon Link to comment
Double J Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 I've met a few girls off the internet, and the time it takes them to feel comfortable around you varies. I met one or two that seemed very nervous, but I met another one that quickly adjusted to the situation because she had already met other guys from online. A word of advice - If you like this girl, make sure you don't depend on her to set up dates or outings. Since she still doesn't know you well, she's still going to proceed with caution, but you need to keep going out with her to see how things are going to end up between both of you. Link to comment
rvr350 Posted December 10, 2004 Author Share Posted December 10, 2004 thanx for all the good advice, folks. It's a lot of mixed signals that had me thinking. We chatted a good 2 hours, and seemed to have a good rapport. She seemed kinda independent, and probably why the defense mechanism kicks in. We talked a lot about her family, work, hobby... but I just couldn't find anyway to wedge in a way to let her talk about herself personally?? Maybe I'll give it some more time. So my question is this: I think she obviously knows I like her, but how should I proceed to show any romantic gesture? Thanks in advance. Link to comment
rvr350 Posted December 10, 2004 Author Share Posted December 10, 2004 I'll hold off contacting her for a few days. I was kinda concerned as I always replied her emails the day after she wrote before. Nothing turns off a woman more than a eager-desperate man. I guess i need to upp my "nice-guy syndrome" medication again Link to comment
marijo2480 Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 You're silly rvr350! Don't pull any romantic gestures on the second date either. That would personally turn me off from a guy if 1) I haven't spoken to him very long, 2) this is only our second date, and 3) I'm not comfortable enough with him to let loose and be myself. I would say that she was probably just nervous, and that's normal, but I think after two hours, I would've probably relaxed a bit more than what she did. What have you planned for the 2nd date? Doing any active things? This will take the pressure off from you of whether to make a move or not and she'll (hopefully) be a bit more relaxed if you're doing something fun together. Oh, and do not get in and talk about your ex, and only your ex. This turns a girl off. Don't ask her about her ex either. They're ex's for a reason and you're there to try to get to know HER! You'll know when it's the right time to talk about the possibility of a relationship between the two of you! Good luck! Marie Link to comment
rvr350 Posted December 10, 2004 Author Share Posted December 10, 2004 We both seemed pretty relaxed when we met, just like when we talked on the phone before. So i guess she's probably just taking things slow. I haven't figured out what to do next week yet... Any ideas? Probably a light lunch and some shopping. Link to comment
Ceema-k Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 hi rvr350... Keep asking her out on dates, keep having fun. Fun is key... Keep it light and breezy. Asking her out on dates, stimulating good conversation and making sure everyone is having a good time is your "job". As for the other stuff, like making "romantic gestures" and the like.. leave that to her. What I'm really learning now is that the girl holds the key to each "stage" of a dating relationship. She is the one who sets the tone, not you. So sit back, smile and enjoy as much of it as you can. Now, i'm not saying you should be an inert stump on all your dates... waiting for everything to happen. But if you feel like you're forcing something to happen, chances are you ARE forcing the situation too much & you should pull back and chill out. Good luck!! Link to comment
marijo2480 Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Ceema-K: You sound like you've been in the dating scene for quite a while. From a woman's point of view, I agree 100% with you! Rvr350: A light lunch and shopping sounds like a good idea. However, be prepared. Women "can" shop!! I don't know where you guys are at but when I think of fun, I think of something like ice skating for example. Good luck to you! You'll be fine! Listen to Ceema-k! Marie Link to comment
Ceema-k Posted December 11, 2004 Share Posted December 11, 2004 marijo2480: lol... it's been an interesting past 2.5 years for me. A lot of catching up and making a lot of mistakes. My biggest issue now is to just be consistent about taking my own advice! still, always nice to get that woman's perspective and feel like i'm not totally out to lunch on my view of things Link to comment
rvr350 Posted December 11, 2004 Author Share Posted December 11, 2004 It's so nice to finally get advice from experts that know the arts to dating. Thanks so much, and i'll keep you folks update. For now, i'll just keep my fingers crossed Link to comment
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