is this worth it?

[giles]

hello everyone.

 

my girlfriend and i have been together three years now, but recently things started going down the pan a little. She feels i don't support her interests enough ie church and dance, her passion in life. I am a very timid man and hate confrontation, and always end up feeling overly criticised by her.

 

Recently she moved back home to the states (i live in the uk) to "develop herself and her career", but later revealed to me that she wanted more distance and control over our relationship, and had realised that she doesn't feel the same and no longer really wants me to be a part of her life. She says to come back to me once you've changed and discovered yourself.

 

I need advice on where to go from here. I still love her very much, and she still says she loves me too. As far as i am concerned, that is all that is fundamentally needed in a realationship, other stuff can be worked on. But how does one go about patching up a damaged relationship at 3000 miles when you hurt so much inside?

 

Anything anyone could say would be much appreciated, just looking for an outside view.

 

thanks

giles

[niedowiarek]

It would seem to me that if she's dropped advice like "come back to me when..." it's like she's judging you, and is making demands on a relationship that may not have been actually worth it to begin with.

 

What kind of a demand is that? When you've found yourself? I wouldn't buy into any more investing with this one.

 

You have basically helped yourself by posting in here, and, you have also answered part of the question yourself, too.

 

Look at the last statement in your first paragraph, that you always end up feeling like you're overly criticised by her. THAT alone is the harbinger of doom and would signify to ME that it's time to end this relationship. Once a woman starts to criticize and judge, it's time to pack and move out of this one and find yourself a decent, loving and caring person who will listen to you.