niedowiarek

Advice? I will take it. Ok, we have two children, aged 11 and 14, which makes this more difficult. The past 5 years she has displayed a mean temper on and off of arguments, likes to force guilt upon me, and has told me, on and off, that she is no longer happy and wants a separation/divorce. This got me thinking. So I drove one day back in January up the mountain and did some serious soul-searching. I discovered that I was not happy. I started to hate coming home at night, with the exception of seeing my children. I go out one night a week for band practice. Even that is looked upon by her as something I shouldn't be doing. She doesn't like music. I think she's heard me play out two times. I began telling her that I wasn't happy as well, and that maybe a trial separation is a good idea, but all of a sudden she doesn't want to separate. I am left with a burden of guilt. I do still love her to a certain extent but even the most infintissimal display of affection has all but disappeared from our marriage. I don't want to do this, but what about 10 years down the road? Are there other men out there who are going through the same thing that I am? If so, share your thoughts here, offer advice on how to rid oneself of guilt. PS - I am moving out effective June 1st into an apartment that is 14 miles away from the house.

It would seem to me that if she's dropped advice like "come back to me when..." it's like she's judging you, and is making demands on a relationship that may not have been actually worth it to begin with. What kind of a demand is that? When you've found yourself? I wouldn't buy into any more investing with this one. You have basically helped yourself by posting in here, and, you have also answered part of the question yourself, too. Look at the last statement in your first paragraph, that you always end up feeling like you're overly criticised by her. THAT alone is the harbinger of doom and would signify to ME that it's time to end this relationship. Once a woman starts to criticize and judge, it's time to pack and move out of this one and find yourself a decent, loving and caring person who will listen to you.