Really need some advice..

[StarryNight01]

Well it would take forever to list all the reasons I have suspicion of my boyfriend's infedelity,but I really just want to get some advice on the most current. Ok well I have had my doubts many times, and dumb on my part completely ignored my intuition, and my dreams.In the past my boyfriend lied to me about communicating with his ex girlfriend.I would not have been so upset, if he didn't feel the need to hide it.She showed up and I had a breakdown,but continued to see him,even though the trust was not there!So three times in the past week I'd go over,having not been there in a day and two.All three days I found this hair on his bed, which did not belong to either of us, and he insists on saying he has no idea where it came from.How could you not know where hair came from if it's on your pillow,and other parts of your bed,when supposedly no one else goes in there except for the two of you.This is just one incident and I'd like any type of advice,on what might be going on, what I could do to either stop it, or find a way to leave him, and get him to stop harassing me.If there is anyone who would like to know anymore about some of the other things,simply ask.So would you call me paranoid .

[Quill]

If you choose the behaviour - ignore your intuition, stay in a relationship with someone who clearly lies to you, stay in a relationship with someone whom you don't trust - then YOU also choose the consequences. Allowing someone to take your happiness and get you to the point of a breakdown is very disrespectful to yourself as is finding CLEAR evidence of his deception and allowing him to bamboozle you with MORE lies, as is STILL questioning "what might be going on" and "what I could do to stop it".

 

Your boyfriend is an ass but in the name of personal responsibility you let it get to this, sorry to say. Stop ignoring and questioning clear evidence, stop deflecting the truth and buying into his crap and stop blocking out your inner voice (with his rubbish) which is telling all you need to know, the truth.

 

I think the important step here is the above... to stop lying to yourself, the next step obviously is to kick him to the curb. There are ways to leave controlling, manipulative people... you just have to want to enough. Go to the authorities and get a restraining order if his harassment calls for it.

 

Good luck