Please Help: I am completely depressed because of him

[Yasminah]

My boyfriend-with whom I am in love- has been very busy with some family issues lately, which means he is ignoring me, except for an occasional message or call. We used to go out every day, but now it is once a week or so. I had talked to him before and he just hold my hand and wanted me to believe that he has issues and needs to solve them. I told him I completely understand and that he just needs to enlighten me why he disappeared. He was more in touch then, but it seems he is sliding back to the old thing again.

 

He hasn't called today nor answered my call. I give him distance, and I understand if he misses me really he will call or text, unless he is in a well or so! He called later.

 

Today I tried to keep busy but ultimately fell: I have been crying for hours non-stop. He just hurts me. If he doesn't call for a day it just means he is doesn't love me enough. When we are together he shows all love- and he also calls me and

checks on me. But I just cannot bear he is away or he dumps me one day with NO REASON. I have deep fears that I am tricked or hurt, and he promised he will not hurt me.

 

I feel my heart is broken into pieces. I am all in tears and have no one to talk to. I live away from my family and close friends and finding him was a happy thing in my life. Though he ultimately calls, I am afraid of the next time this happens. What can I do? How to train myself to accept the fact that he is busy and distract myself? I am very vulnerable because when I love someone I love him really.

 

What do you advise?

[ThatwasThen]

He's told you he has family issues that he needs time to work out. If you can't trust him to get to you when he can then the only thing you can do is to break up with him, heal from that and then find someone who doesn't not need so much time away from you.

 

While you're waiting for his calls I suggest that you do some things that will keep you busy and your mind pre-occupied off of him. You've made him your everything and now when he's absent you have nothing. Work on that. Join groups, take classes, learn new things, put yourself in situations where you'll meet new friends who will help you with your free time away from this guy. If you don't work on yourself then you're going to end up alone anyway because you're putting a huge burden on him to be your everything. Strive to be happy when he's away from you and you'll be a good partner when he's with you.

 

It's either that or leave him and find someone more compatible. You've talked about this and he just doesn't have the time to give you that way you want... So change you and the rest will hopefully follow.

[pippy longstocking]

op just reading back your other threads which only span october and november it seems very quick work to be in love , and there seemed to be more than one man ...

 

which makes me think you are clinging onto anyone who will be with you ...which would go with the signs you are displaying ..the worry and insecurity ..

 

I am not trying to upset you , but I do think this is more about you then your boyfriend .

[Yasminah]

Sh***ting star,

 

You didn't have to be that obsessive about someone's post. I knew this guy before.

 

No one is obliging you to answer something you disapprove of.

[pippy longstocking]

Sh***ting star,

 

You didn't have to be that obsessive about someone's post. I knew this guy before.

 

No one is obliging you to answer something you disapprove of.

 

 

I didn't realise my post came accross as dissaprovel , because in reality my emotions don't run that deep ...I answered your thread on the content I have seen you write .

[SooSad33]

Yas,

 

Shooting star is right.. I feel you need to work on YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. One your own and without depending on others to 'make' you happy.

 

We understand you are hurt from his behavior, but in ways it does sound like he is pushing you away. So now, you need to work on accepting the fact.

He's showing some distance or a distraction is going on.. or something. Because I'm sure he is aware of how you're feeling and is doing NOTHING on your behalf, accept neglect by sounds of it and maybe some selfishness?

 

Like mentioned above, how about you try and keep yourself busy and if he does call you, ask him straight out what's up and does he want to keep seeing you... or not?

I feel it is NOT normal for a bf/gf to be this way if they're seeing that person.

 

What I don't suggest you do is flood his phone with calls or texts. He's aware of what you've sent, i'm sure.

Respect him and leave him be until he calls or texts you back.

 

But I do strongly suggest you come to realize YOU need some respect as well and not this type of rejection.

[Natasha27]

Hi,

 

i am sorry to hear how u are feeling, i don't understand what happens to men to be honest! one minute they r ringing us day n night and the next we lucky if we get one text of them! not all men, just the immature ones i guess? sorry, just saying. I know it's hard especially when someone is seeing u daily and talking to u daily and not even talking to that person one day can be very bad and sad. I feel you need to stop texting him and ringing him for now, as hard as that may seem, u need to STOP doing this. Please, trust me. As u have done enough chasing for now, and then all of a sudden he will realise where has she gone?! or he will panic thinking has she forgot about me, lost interest in me, what is she upto? i am not telling you to play a game, u just have to put ur needs first now. You need to be stronger, i know it's not going to be easy but you really need to do that, i know it's hard and i can relate to what your saying but if he does genuinely care for you then he will be in touch, he will want to know where u r and what u r upto?

 

hope u feel better soon xx

[mhowe]

OP --- someone who is busy w/ family issues should not have to deal w/ your extreme level of insecurity.