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Distance relationships: How were your experiences like?


wsim

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Hello again,

 

Things have changed for the better in recent weeks, as I have been talking to a girl for a couple of months now and have been on one date. I am seeing her again for a few days in December, before she has to go overseas to visit her family and friends for the Christmas holidays. We talk on the phone for about 1-2 hours everyday, and connect well so far. As well, we have agreed to take it one step at a time although were are both interested and committed to give long-distance a try for awhile.

 

It isn't exactly long-distance, but about a 2-3 hour commute each way that requires a ferry trip. However, since she is busy with her post-graduate studies and I work full-time, we only see each other about once a month right now. The most challenging part is that we miss each other but accept that our time together must be cherished.

 

What are some of your distance relationship stories like if you have experienced them before? I know that most people generally shy away from them, although with this girl we both are willing to make it work for now.

 

I am having difficulty thinking of a suitable Christmas gift to give her before she leaves to Asia. Any suggestions? I was thinking of something like a scarf or chocolates along with a personalized card.

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I'm probably the wrong person to ask. I've been in 2 long distance relationships. One that started in a very similar situation as yours and ended horribly but it was tail end of high school so eh... grain of salt. The other was a relationship was my last serious one. Was a girl I met who was getting her BS at a university in my town. She already had plans to move to the other side of the country for medical school. This was all planned out before she met me. She still wanted a relationship with me and after a few months decided she wanted to try long distance. I was apprehensive but crazy about her so I figured if she was into it, I would be too, even if the program was 3 years long. It didn't take her but 3 months after she moved away to break up with me. Almost immediately started becoming emotionally distant. No matter how much I tried to make it work, she just wasn't feeling it.

 

You have to really ask yourself, is she the type of person who is going to stick around? IMO, absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder. Quite the opposite. Though, I maintain hope that one day I will find a relationship where she completely reciprocates and distance won't matter at all.

 

Women these days, especially ones in college, do not want to be tied down in relationships while prepping for their future, their career, and seeing the world. In my experience, they want a relationship when they are damn well ready for it and that's usually not until their mid to late 20s. Of course EVERYONE is different and I could just have had some bad luck

 

That said, I wish you the BEST of luck, sir.

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I've been in a few LDR. In most cases, it didn't work out...I got sick of the distance or he did or we both did. With my ex husband it did work out but we had been together for 3 years before he had to go abroad for a year. In that year, I saw him 4-5 times for a few days every time. The relationship lasted and we got married soon after he returned for good.

In your case, I think it will be very difficult because you're already long distance, you don't really know each other, you're both too busy, plus the trip to Asia. Seeing each other once a month and phonetalks will get old soon, in my opinion.

Anyway, if something is meant to be, it will...it's just too difficult.

 

As for the Christmas gift before her trip...how about a CD with a medley of Christmas songs and a few love songs thrown in there? I would avoid chocolates..you eat them and then forget them..lol. The scarf is good ..but, still, I'd rather have the CD.

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