I think my girlfriend has depression and wants a break!

[Glowguy]

Of course you are not crazy for wanting to hang on to a five year relationship - that is not going to go completely away for another while. Breaks are usually a bad sign and it sounds like she has kept you in limbo for at least a month now which is also a bad sign. IMO - if someone really loves you they will not put you through this painful kind of limbo but will end it and wish you the best. If you think you are feeling bad now then meeting up with her could really send you into a tailspin. If she really does want you back then I think she would have been more straightforward about it. I would really press her about her intentions before agreeing to meet in person and even then I would be very reluctant because she probably just wants to make sure you are still pining for her. I think your best option is to just treat this as a breakup and do your best to move forward without her. It sounds like you are on the right path so far.

[sharky988]

Actually no! The meet up never happened. To my relief!! I really think she's trying to push the whole FRIENDS thing instead of telling me what I deserve to hear, Relationship or Not? So what's my move now. I'm sure as S**T that she's gonna want to meet up again soon. Am I crazy for hanging on?

 

Hmmmm.... I'm guessing that SHE was the one who cancelled?

 

Look, if you continue to *be there* for her and keep meeting up and holding her hand through this breakup, all you're doing is making things easier for her while she looks for her next boyfriend. You're not helping yourself to heal from this breakup -- and you're not forcing her to see what life is like without you!

 

You're actually helping her to miss you LESS... while delaying YOUR ability to heal from this breakup.... is that what you want?

[adsmith]

So, what do I do? ? ?

[mhowe]

Nothing. Let go and move on. You cannot make her want to try again.

[sharky988]

So, what do I do? ? ?

 

Really? You REALLY don't know what to do???

 

Go No Contact.

 

You can start by never initiating contact with her, ever again. IF she contacts you, you reply with a brief non-emotional 2 line message saying you're taking some time without contact so you can heal and move on. Then you wish her the best and thank her for understanding. Boom -- 2 lines and you're done.

 

Then you block her everywhere online. If there's a site you use that doesn't let you block people, disable your account for a few months. And you change your cell number -- or block her number -- so she can't text you or call.

 

Then.... you begin to HEAL.

 

Here's a guide that will help you: link removed

[adsmith]

Yeah I understand. I'll do no contact until I get something from her. It's been a week so far. Then I'll tell her how I need to let go and move forward. I'll keep you all informed. Wish me luck......

[adsmith]

Well, that's it, it's finally over. I told her I needed to let go and move forward. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I expected her to fight me on it but she just said ok, if that's what you want!!!! Really??? As if I wanted any of this. But as it goes I had to do what she didn't have the guts to do. I suppose now it's phase 2, dealing with the closure and a break up.

[Twidom]

Well, that's it, it's finally over. I told her I needed to let go and move forward. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I expected her to fight me on it but she just said ok, if that's what you want!!!! Really??? As if I wanted any of this. But as it goes I had to do what she didn't have the guts to do. I suppose now it's phase 2, dealing with the closure and a break up.

 

Stay strong. Tough times are coming but it's for the best.