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Ok.....i have been very patient with this guy i am really intereted in. It has been since september that we have been talking, but he is very slooow at things. But i am unsure where i stand....He has taken me out like once a month, not really talking to me in between that much in the beginning...but he has been doing very well for the past month, has talked to me more, seen me more...he basically has opened up slowly but surely.

He has only had one other girlfriend a while ago, so he may be inexperienced. but last weekend we hung out on friday, and things got hot and steamy...i ended up giving him head....he is the second person i have ever given head too. And i think i may have made a mistake because i do not know where i stand, becuase we haven't talked about it yet, i don't want to scare him off, so i am going to go at his pace and give him time to open up to me. But the thing is I haven't heard from him since that night....He walked me to the door, gave me a kiss, then walked away...then walked back and kissed my cheek and said he'll text me tomorrow (saturday) when he gets up. well he never did, and i haven't heard from him since I saw him online today for the first time this week, and he didn't IM me. I don't know what to think.....But he does this though...he disapears so to say. then he will show up again, and IM me to hang out....we don't do sexual stuff each time though, so i am not a booty call, i know he is interested, but can you tell me what you think of this situation. Please don't say "maybe you didn't give good head" becuase i do know how to, I gave oral to my ex plenty of times, and i am very good

So if you could give me your take of what you might think is going on here, that would be great.




~The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these dangily things when I squeeze 'em."?~

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Hi there,

Well I don't think the problem is that you gave him " bad head" ( is there such a thing) the problem is that you didn't know where you stood with him but you went ahead and tried to rush the relationship by getting sexual.


How to fix it? Let him have some space. It sounds like he does like you, he has taken you out a few times. Maybe he just doesn't know if he wants a girlfriend right now. Don't rush him, but don't have any more sexual stuff until you know where you stand. Don't ask where you stand though... instead concentrate on having a good time with him and enjoying the dates.


Try to stay on the same page as him. If you aren't a couple yet, then date other people too. Don't close yourself off to others and you won't feel so desperate to know where you stand with this one.

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I don't think it's fair to say that if he doesn't contact you after saying that he will then he's a "selfish a-hole" or anything like that. I think Muneca is exactly right. It's likely that you simply caught him off guard by rushing into the sexual side, especially if you know that he prefers to take it slow. So you should give him some space. Not too much- you want him to know that you're still around and still care. If not hearing from him bothers you THAT much, why don't YOU contact HIM?

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Well Actually i was not the one who initiated the oral...he REALLY wanted me too. I was very apprehensive, but he sat there and told me to let loose becuase (i am very shy)....so i didn't rush into it actually...sorry i should have said this in my post....so what do you think now???

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I still think the same thing.


I think alot of guys will try to test where the boundaries are to see what kind of girl you are. I know it's not fair but they do it anyway, even when they really do like you.


What you should have done is said something like " well I don't do that unless I'm in a relationship" and left it at that. If he respected you then he would have backed off.


See now he doesn't know what to think because he probably does like you, but you already had sex( you know what I mean) without being exclusive. So he is forming an opinion and deciding what to do.


If I was you I would still back off and let him come around. He showed you that he liked you, let him do things right this time. All might not be lost. Thank goodness there are still good guys out there that won't judge a girl too quickly. Leave the sex for when you are in a relationship and you will avoid worrying unecessarily about things like this.


Good luck

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