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Some advice needed


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hey everyone, im new to this site about a few days ago, i recently got dumped a few days ago, so i found this site, and i wanted to see what and how other people got help during these hard times. I wasn't going to post anything, i just wanted to read about others in my situation, but i got a decision to make now and just need to hear some advice. So a little background, My ex and i have been off and on for a year now. Things were going good in the beginning like every other relationship. A few months in we started to bicker about stupid stuff, and that resulted in our first break. After one of the fights i drove home after spending the night with her, we got into a argument and i was pretty pissed and i just went home. About an hour later she called me and told me to come outside, so i did, and we talked for about a minute or two, and she seemed pretty nervous in that short amount of time. I said what is wrong, what do you wanna talk about? She ended up saying, i love you for the first time. My jaw dropped and i had a huge smile on my face. I said it back to her and we hugged it out. It was the first time she ever said that so soon, 3 months or so, and the first time she said it before the guy. After that we were good for months, here and there we got into a few fights, but nothing serious. So time went on, same thing, fighting here and there, long story short, she broke up with me about 3 or 4 times total within the year, and i was heartbroken. Everytime i would say look we can do this, we can get through it, i love you, i miss you, the usual, and we ended up back together every time. So this last time, last week, she broke it off saying that she got bored of me when we went out, she wanted to be single because she hasn't been single really in 4 years or so. She wanted time for herself. So about 2 to 3 days went by, and i coudn't get it out of my head, i ended up texting her about how i miss her and i love her dearly, and if she had any free time, to give me a call and talk or meet up. She never replied back to me. 2 days go by and tonight i just received a text from her saying she misses me, that we should just be friends, and that everytime we hang out we act like a couple, and its just not working out. I havent replied back to her because after reading all these posts, i know i should give it a little time to think about what i should say, because right now, all i want to do is text back saying, look i know you need your space and what not, i miss you too, but if there is anyway we can take it real slow i know that it could work out, something along those lines.

i just need some advice about this and what you think you would do in my shoes.

I dont get on facebook really, rarely i do, so that really isn't a issue, because i know a lot of you say delete her or whatever.... I really really want things to work out between us, and i know they could with everything that we been through. I love her a lot and i know she loves me, should i say something back to her? freindly wise? or what?

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She want to be friends? Ops not good.

I think you should go NC for now.

She wants to keep you as a friend just in case she gets sad/lonely. Backup plan.

If she wants to be just friends, are you willing to accept her little offer?

I wouldn't.

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It does sound like she doesnt want to try anymore..that it's just not working- sad to say.

Sounds like she's had enough and doesnt really want to try anymore. I think you can surely tell with the amt of times she was walked away.

Seems she is not settled and as into this as you are. I Know this is very hard to accept- but this is what we're seeing.


It is NOT easy to 'accept'- end of a relationship. It hurts- a lot! We understand.

Best just to leave her alone now and give her nothing. Time to work on YOU now.

It WILL be hard to leave all alone- but it's best.


IF she does want to come back.. she will let you know.

For now, stick with us. One day at a time.



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Thanks guys, and would i accept her offer as being friends? i mean i would only do it so i could maybe get her back, but at the same time, i don't know if i could because if i was her friend we would still talk, hang out sometimes, and i couldnt hug her, kiss her, etc. it'd be different, and i love her too much. I wanna end up saying something back to her about my feelings, but i feel like it'd just be a waste of time and effort, but for right now, im not going to reply at all. I wanna think about what to say if i end up saying anything. I just hope in the end that she realizes what he had and that we can work out, yeah i know im hanging onto hope here even when she said we should be friends and its not working out, maybe im dumb for doing it because chances are it wont work out, but i just cant give up on the girl i love dearly just yet. Maybe ill come up with something good to say. Anyway, not hoping for the best but sure am prayin, thanks guys, and ill for sure keep this updated on what happens, i text her or she text me again, or what im thinking.....

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Thanks guys, and would i accept her offer as being friends? i mean i would only do it so i could maybe get her back


The you wouldn;t be her friend, you;d be soemone with an agenda. that's not fair on her.


It's also not fair on you, putting yourself through that kind of relationship can be torture. trust me man, I've been there.

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thanks guys for the advice, so like i said above, she ended up texting me what i wrote in the first post. I slept on it and the next day, (today) i wrote her saying that i wrote her a note, asking her if she would like to read it or just leave it be, i said are you up to anything, she said shes working, so i said okay well after work would you wanna meet or should i text it to you, she said text, so i wrote a really long text stating that i will be her friend, shell always be that one that never leaves my mind, ill do anything for her, that what the problem was, and i said sorry for being so pushy as to trying things again, she replied as i love you more than the world, its best if we dont see one another for some time passes, we shoud jsut be friends for now, and give it time before we start fresh again, she said she hasnt been single in 4 years. i said okay to that and told her id be here with anything she needs, and she said the same... that was the last text.... any advice on what i should do next? i mean i know to not contact her for a little bit, but like from the text, you think there is still hope? any advice is needed, thanks guys

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