2 in a million, re-con stories

[Teebear]

So for a while now I've been reading this forum and have found that there is an overly negative take on reconciliation and with good reason, to protect those that may be clutching at straws and not giving up hope etc. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen, it's just not likely and if it happens it won't be anything like how you're hoping or expecting.

 

Since my own break up I have been asking for anecdotes as I like to relate to experience not platitudes and I was told a story that some people may appreciate, the purpose is to not give people new hope AT ALL, for me it doesn't give hope since I can't relate from my point of view but I think it can be nice to hear such stories, like maybe things work out in the end for the best, well here it is....

 

My friend had been very patient listening to my problems and in the course of this we discussed how she ended up with her current boyfriend. It seems he dumped her after a 3 year relationship- she suggested it was for another girl, she was totally devastated, she thought she'd never see him again let alone talk- it was a hopeless situation there was no back and forth. After 6 months or so she was feeling better, pretty much over it and had moved on. I think this is the key element, she didn't pine and mourn, she recognised there was no point to that, he was with someone else. She threw herself into career and is doing so well, it's paid off.

Roughly 4 or 5 years later they got back in touch and (to cut a long story short) it wasn't an instant reconnection, it took months and months to reconcile, if you can even call it that since they were both totally different people. They have been together now for 6 years.

 

I appreciated this story because I thought it might resonate with people on here and offer another perspective. They didn't wait for each other but it just so happened that the timing was just right for them the second time around and I'm so pleased it worked out!

 

Second story- my first boyfriend "cheated" on me with someone else (I don't know what happened exactly because I saw red and chucked him and his stuff out) When I was being pathetic and crying in bed my aunt told me that my Uncle had cheated on her (A shock to me) she walked out, cut him off (probably went NC) not sure how long it took but my uncle somehow won her back (not sure how because she is a VERY strong woman) they've now been together for 25+ years, she used the story to reassure me not to be upset about this guy because sometimes they do silly things that don't make much sense. Sure enough my boyfriend came back..... I ended up dumping him for someone else in the end, he was in turmoil!

 

SO it just goes to show you never know what can happen and the worst thing to do is have expectations. Let it all go and if everything is right further down the line, things may fall in to place but it's a pretty big if!

[pennyloafer2]

I appreciate your story, I think a really important element is the truly moving on part. You can't wait for someone for years and hope this happens. It happens because you're not waiting for them. For me, I don't think it would ever happen. Once I'm over someone, I can't seem to forge a new relationship. I've had ex's try to reconnect after years of being over each other - and I just couldn't do it. I guess it's not for me. Once and it's done.

[professorplum]

Yes I would second that. Good of you to share this. What you say is crucial : moving on etc. This of course is what so many people find difficult. So consequently NC is often used as a manipulative tool for effect and that rarely works. The kind of story you mention is rare but I think it is helpful to hear about examples like this. Nothing is impossible but you have to live your life not expecting such things to happen to you.