Improving your self esteem

[Celadon]

Hi all.

 

I just came accross an article on the Web about improving your self esteem. I thought it was really good, so I wanted to post the link:

 

utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/selfesteem/selfest.html

 

It's from the counseling center at the University of Texas.

 

I think one of the most helpful insights it had for me was this: people with low self esteem base how they feel about themselves on what's happening in that particular moment. So if something bad happens to you, you take it hard and feel bad about your whole self. Sadly, I fall into that trap all the time! But today, I'm going to try to be more aware of when I'm doing that, and stop thinking that way.

 

Hope this helps someone ...

[Meow18]

Thanks for sharing. Many people will find this really helpful!

[VictorWard]

That was a good article, although the part about the childhood experiences that lead to low self-esteem hit a little too close to home.

 

# being harshly criticized (check)

# being yelled at, or beaten (check)

# being ignored, ridiculed or teased (check)

# being expected to be "perfect" all the time (check)

# experiencing failures in sports or school (check)

 

Things have gotten slightly better over the past few years, but I still have a long way to go.

[Celadon]

Thanks for posting, VictorWard. I hope things do get better for you. It does take time ...

 

One thing I've realized is that it takes time to stop being or feeling like a victim - but it can be done little by little. A lesson I'm trying to put into practice is that our greatest power is the power to choose.

 

When someone does something bad to me (intentionally or not), I have to choose whether to get drawn into their behavior or to seek out something better for my life. That's ultimately what it boils down to.

 

A friend gets mad at me for something I didn't do, then gives me the cold shoulder or even gossips about me to others. I try to fix things, but she's not interested. So I have a choice. Get mad that she's behaving badly (how dare she pull this power trip on me), or choose to think about and do positive things.

 

The more often I choose something positive, the more my life will become centered around positive things.

 

Just some thoughts...

[VictorWard]

One thing I've realized is that it takes time to stop being or feeling like a victim - but it can be done little by little. A lesson I'm trying to put into practice is that our greatest power is the power to choose.

Yeah, it definitely takes a lot of time. I think that I had such low self esteem for so long it became who I was. Changing who you are is rarely a quick fix.