Why won't my fiancé have sex with me?

[ThatwasThen]

BTW: Here is another suggestion which of course, will only work if he's willing to participate. Blind fold him and make it all about him. The blind fold will help him to concentrate on what you're doing, on the sensations and it will force him to visualize mentally rather then by actually seeing.

 

To Add 15;5815296]What if he were to write down 4 or 5 things that would turn him on. Seal them in envelopes. Then take one out here and there. Show him that you have one but don't tell him which one it is. That night or the next (life happens sometimes) do his thing. If it was successful he gets the option of giving you a new thing to put in an envelope or that one going back in. That way it is always random and he can wonder all day what is coming This is great and it works for couples who have been in long term relationships as well to keep that passionate energy in the bedroom. Nice!

[april15]

I'm not arguing that porn addiction is not real, just that the sites you provide could be as bad as other "I read it on the internet so it must be true" sites. For alcohol addiction:

 

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are all sites that are based in fact and have research to back it up. Give me something similar if you want to be treated with the same seriousness, otherwise it is just an opinion, might be a good opinion, but still an opinion.

[ThatwasThen]

I'm good with it just being an opinion. (there is a forum within the links where people going through the withdrawl state their experience) I've never said that he IS going through the stages of his addiction... I presented it as a possibility the he could be going through the stages of withdrawl from an addiction. It's still is a possibility whether I provide you with scientific evidence or not. He has some symptoms therefore the possibility exists that he is/was addicted and is now going through withdrawl that the particular addiction will manifest when going cold turkey.

[Lonewing]

The porn is a symptom and nothing more. To make more of it at this point ignores the fact that this has been his case with and without porn AND with or without the baby.

 

For whatever reason, he's lost his attraction to her, or at least, his sex drive for her. Porn did not come in and steal that away, porn is no more or less potent than if a really hot girl walked by. His drive [at least for her] was gone before he ever looked at porn.

 

To continue pounding the porn drum is really missing the point. He may be one of the roughly 25% of men who hold a lower esteem of sex and don't want it so much. For whatever reason, she'll have to romance him if she wants it [similar to how some men have to romance their wives when they want some] so that he wants it again.

[ThatwasThen]

The porn is a symptom and nothing more. To make more of it at this point ignores the fact that this has been his case with and without porn AND with or without the baby.

Somone else who didn't read the links. The lack of desire for intercourse with his partner is a symptom of someone who is still watching and someone who has gone cold turkey and stopped watching so the lack of desire would have been there during his active viewing as well as after he stopped.

 

 

For whatever reason, he's lost his attraction to her, or at least, his sex drive for her. Porn did not come in and steal that away,

You don't know that anymore then I know that what he is going through is porn addiction withdrawl. One opinion is as valid as the others. Only he knows for sure what's going on. But, hey. He won't talk about it.

 

porn is no more or less potent than if a really hot girl walked by.

You don't know that either.

 

His drive [at least for her] was gone before he ever looked at porn.

Really, where did she say that?

 

To continue pounding the porn drum is really missing the point. He may be one of the roughly 25% of men who hold a lower esteem of sex and don't want it so much. For whatever reason, she'll have to romance him if she wants it [similar to how some men have to romance their wives when they want some] so that he wants it again.

I only continue to "pound" the porn drum because people keep bringing it up and I'm giving my rebuttal. she can romance him all she can, if he's not open to it, depressed about it or unwilling to be romanced then there is no point.

 

Op has been given many things she can try to "romance" him and to "sex him up." Personally, I think she should start by getting him to go get his T levels checked and rule out anything physical. Then work on the mental part of it.