bulletproof Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Don't bring it up in a joking way. If you can't even ask an honest question and not be considered psycho, then what kind of relationship is this? Also, do not go looking into his facebook. That's private and you have no right to be in there. Ask him about it, since you did both decide to deactivate, and he has since gone back on that deal. You're talking about playing games, and that never works. Just be honest. Link to comment
oitnb Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 Don't bring it up in a joking way. If you can't even ask an honest question and not be considered psycho, then what kind of relationship is this? Also, do not go looking into his facebook. That's private and you have no right to be in there. Ask him about it, since you did both decide to deactivate, and he has since gone back on that deal. You're talking about playing games, and that never works. Just be honest. I just feel like, what's the point of asking? If he is doing something, obviously he will most likely lie about it. Idk. My dad cheated on my mom, maybe those issues are resurfacing here with me. I don't know... Link to comment
oitnb Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 You got nothing to worry about. If he feels more comfortable wearing condom. It's ok. It's not the bringing them home thing that I'm upset about, it's the fact that I randomly found one in his pants. Link to comment
nfperception Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Don't bring it up in a joking way. If you can't even ask an honest question and not be considered psycho, then what kind of relationship is this? Also, do not go looking into his facebook. That's private and you have no right to be in there. Ask him about it, since you did both decide to deactivate, and he has since gone back on that deal. You're talking about playing games, and that never works. Just be honest. Agreed, exactly... Link to comment
oitnb Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 Agreed, exactly... I think you guys are misunderstanding me a bit. I just don't want to ask, and it not be true, and him think how can he be with someone who mistrusts him so much. I don't want to ruin the relationship, by accusing him of something that could not even be true. I should just hire a pi. Joking, joking! Lol Link to comment
nfperception Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 I think you guys are misunderstanding me a bit. I just don't want to ask, and it not be true, and him think how can he be with someone who mistrusts him so much. I don't want to ruin the relationship, by accusing him of something that could not even be true. I should just hire a pi. Joking, joking! Lol Well, I did say earlier "The basis of relationships is trust. So, wait and see." You did say though earlier in this post you made that you were thinking about bringing it up to him in a joking way... I think I'm gonna ask in a joking way... "Babe condoms keep popping up everywhere lol what's going on" or something like that... That's why bulletproof said don't bring it up in a joking way. Link to comment
oitnb Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 Well, I did say earlier "The basis of relationships is trust. So, wait and see." You did say though earlier in this post you made that you were thinking about bringing it up to him in a joking way... Yeah I thought bringing it up in light hearted way would make it seem less accusatory and more "what is going on here?" Idk. Any advice on how to word it? I'm lost here. Link to comment
nfperception Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Yeah I thought bringing it up in light hearted way would make it seem less accusatory and more "what is going on here?" Idk. Any advice on how to word it? I'm lost here. Don't bring it up in a joking way. If you can't even ask an honest question and not be considered psycho, then what kind of relationship is this? Also, do not go looking into his facebook. That's private and you have no right to be in there. Ask him about it, since you did both decide to deactivate, and he has since gone back on that deal. You're talking about playing games, and that never works. Just be honest. There's your answer. Link to comment
oitnb Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 How about - "babe, I'm not trying to accuse you, but I've noticed a few strange things and they're bugging me too much not mention them. I know your Facebook has been active again, and the fact that you didn't tell me is odd. And, I also found another one of those condoms in your pants. What's going on?" Sorry I'm being so specific guys, I just really want to tread this lightly. Link to comment
nfperception Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 How about - "babe, I'm not trying to accuse you, but I've noticed a few strange things and they're bugging me too much not mention them. I know your Facebook has been active again, and the fact that you didn't tell me is odd. And, I also found another one of those condoms in your pants. What's going on?" Sorry I'm being so specific guys, I just really want to tread this lightly. That sounds fine to me, but you might get a different response on here. Link to comment
oitnb Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 Ahh, I sent it. I'm so nervous. I'd rather have this talk face to face but I don't really have a choice because he works nights and I work days, and we won't be alone one on one for a few days and I can't wait that long. Plus, I'm braver behind an iPhone screen. Lol I'm so nervous... Wish me luck... Link to comment
sugarpiehoney Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 You could just play it off ..."hey, look what I found in the laundry!" Gauge his reaction from that. Link to comment
oitnb Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 We're currently argueing... Which is such a red flag when you ask a man a question like this, them getting defensive... Ugh... Will give update in a bit Link to comment
oitnb Posted August 31, 2013 Author Share Posted August 31, 2013 We ended the convo because it was getting too intense and i said if it is going down that road I'd rather have this convo in person, but basically right after I sent the text his Facebook went inactive. What a coincidence right? He basically said I must be seeing things and he never has gotten on it. He then said he couldnt deactivate it because he doesn't have Internet on his phone. (He does) and I then said if he doesn't just tell me the truth this will be a serious issue, and he took it down the breakup road and Said If you don't believe me ill just move to my dads. Wow guys, it might be over unless he just mans up and tells the truth, I have a sneaking suspicion he got on it to talk to a girl a forbid him from talking too (for extremely personal issues I'd rather not say, I'm fine with him having female friends but the story behind this girl is nothing you could imagine) and honestly I would forgive him for that, so long as nothing physical Happened, but I can't even forgive him if he won't just tell me the truth... Link to comment
nfperception Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 More then likely, it was the girl you didn't want him taking to that made him reactivate his F.B. When any girl doesn't want their S.O. to talk to someone, he will be even more sneaky about it. Him bursting out arguing with you about this IS a red flag. Don't ignore that, or your instinct about this situation. Anything your intuition is telling you, listen to it. I'm telling you it will help you out in the long run. If someone has nothing to hide, they wouldn't jump to arguing with you. Link to comment
oitnb Posted August 31, 2013 Author Share Posted August 31, 2013 More then likely, it was the girl you didn't want him taking to that made him reactivate his F.B. When any girl doesn't want their S.O. to talk to someone, he will be even more sneaky about it. Him bursting out arguing with you about this IS a red flag. Don't ignore that, or your instinct about this situation. Anything your intuition is telling you, listen to it. I'm telling you it will help you out in the long run. If someone has nothing to hide, they wouldn't jump to arguing with you. Yes he's lying and thinking I'm dumb. I sent the text, his Facebook is suddenly unactive, and the he texts me saying he never got on it right after. I'm not an idiot. It is most likely over because I can't work issues out with someone if they won't even admit to them. I'm so hurt and torn up right now. Link to comment
nfperception Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 Yes he's lying and thinking I'm dumb. I sent the text, his Facebook is suddenly unactive, and the he texts me saying he never got on it right after. I'm not an idiot. It is most likely over because I can't work issues out with someone if they won't even admit to them. I'm so hurt and torn up right now. I'm sorry. Stay strong. Also, I wanted to add that you are not dumb, or an idiot. You saw his F.B. activated, and then de-activated right in front of your own eyes. He: Lied about his F.B. Arguing with you Threatening to break-up with you Link to comment
oitnb Posted August 31, 2013 Author Share Posted August 31, 2013 Oh my god, he just remembered he got on it a month ago to read about a friend from h/s that passed away, I feel horrible he was so torn up about it too... Link to comment
oitnb Posted August 31, 2013 Author Share Posted August 31, 2013 I remember too, he told me about it and double checked to make sure I was cool with him getting on Omg Link to comment
SpottiOtti Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 Um, I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but why in the hell are you tiptoeing around asking your boyfriend about a CONDOM you found in his pants pocket? Don't you have the right to ask this question without being afraid and worrying over how you phrase it, for God's sake? Wouldn't he ask you directly if he found a condom in your purse or something? ** Okay, edit, because I just saw the last page of this thread and I see that you think this is a breakup now? I'm sorry that you're going through this crap, but seriously, if a guy has you so twisted that you're afraid to ask him about a condom in his pocket, which is obviously unusual and suspicious, you should definitely question everything about that relationship, and whether it's even worth it. Keep that in mind for future relationships. You have the right to speak up about stuff. Link to comment
nfperception Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 I remember too, he told me about it and double checked to make sure I was cool with him getting on Omg Quit worrying. Everything will be fine. Better communication skills. Link to comment
oitnb Posted August 31, 2013 Author Share Posted August 31, 2013 Quit worrying. Everything will be fine. Better communication skills. Definently. Wow. This whole thing could've been avoided. Geez... Link to comment
nfperception Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 Agreed with SpottiOtti, yet again. (It's a good thing, SpottiOtti. Listen to her. She gives great advice. Link to comment
oitnb Posted August 31, 2013 Author Share Posted August 31, 2013 I was only nervous b/c he had brought some home already and told me, so I didn't want to come off as paranoid and mix ups happen and it could've ended up there, but he explained it. This whole thing boils to horrible communication. It's rediculous. Link to comment
nfperception Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 I was only nervous b/c he had brought some home already and told me, so I didn't want to come off as paranoid and mix ups happen and it could've ended up there, but he explained it. This whole thing boils to horrible communication. It's rediculous. Then tell him you don't remember him logging onto FaceBook a month ago. If you two are meant to stay together, you will. Don't worry about it. Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.