sasha12 Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 Why do guys look at porno if they have a pretty gf or wife at home? Link to comment
psipro Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 Sorry, men never get over it. We dont look at it because we are unsatisfied or unhappy. Curriosity killed the cat? I know personally I started looking at it out of curriosity, which lead to other things but thats for another thread. Must admit, once i started its hard to stop. I've got a GF that I love and adore but I look at porn every now and then just to help get the job done dont watch it like a movie. I have to say that, before I had a GF I deffinatly watched more often. I deffinatly understand how people get offended by situations like this, but I really wouldn't worry about it. Were you with him for the holliday, has it been a while since he has had sex? Link to comment
S4il Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 I think it's because the pornographic Industries aims directly at the imaginative side of Men's thought's and what the male perceive's as being Fully Satisfied Sex. It's the males fantasies or better put "The Pinnacle of our Hormonal thoughts" that many of us share, Example being 2 women at the same time, school girls, Nurses, Nice Size FAKE breast (turn off for me BTW) and that is what grabs our attention, after all everyone has a fantasy, Right? Link to comment
sasha12 Posted November 30, 2004 Author Share Posted November 30, 2004 hello psipro, yes we spent the holiday alone together so while I was cooking . he was looking at porn sites on the computer. I didn't have him cut off from sex but at the moment I'm thinking that maybe I should have. Link to comment
sasha12 Posted November 30, 2004 Author Share Posted November 30, 2004 I don't know I have mixed feelings about this. To me it means he wants something that looks better. Am I thinking wrong here? Link to comment
crizlee Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 dunno bout you dudes but i never get the urge to look at porno anymore bein with my gf. Link to comment
Mr. Cactus Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 I thought I would chime in with my own opinion. Firstly, not all men are porno obsessed. I have absolutely no interest in it whatsoever but on the other hand I can also guarantee my sex drive is perfectly normal, even perhaps a little high / excessive for my age group. It's just I have absolutely no interest in thinking about sexual activity with anyone except the person who is closest to me. I know of a lot of other men who are quite into pornography but I also know quite a lot of others like me who are not. I personally think it's disrespectful for a male partner in an intimate relationship to be surfing the web for this sort of stuff. I would feel quite offended if a female partner did this to me, even though I'm nothing to particularly get excited about myself. And I just think I should treat people the way I would like to be treated myself. I can't really give much advice to the original poster except for her to confront her partner and tell him that she does not like it and that she considers it to be disrespectful amongst other things. If the male partner dismisses this, then maybe that is an indicator that down the track he could be disrespectful in other matter as well. A red flag as it were. Link to comment
69_king Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 maybe he's trying to find some new techniques or positions to try with you although I think if I were him I wouldn't be looking at it when you were around. I suppose if I knew that my g/f or wife truly and absolutely loved me then I wouldn't care so much if I caught her looking at pictures of naked firemen. Link to comment
kate111 Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 watching porn fulfills a sexual craving for voyeurism amongst other things. Some men get off on it and others dont. I have a voyeur side. I dont think it is something you need to worry about. It doesnt mean your boyfriend loves you any less. Link to comment
Vanilla Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 how dare he do it while youre cooking! Good god talk about being discrete i would have been so pissed off dont even get me started Link to comment
psipro Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 I must admit i wouldn't be thrilled if that happened to me, and i certinatlly wouldn't do it myself. Sorry but I dont know what to tell you, but i do agree with those who posted above me. Link to comment
sasha12 Posted November 30, 2004 Author Share Posted November 30, 2004 hello schatziek, pissed off is to nice of a word for what I'm feeling at the moment. He doesn't know that I found these sites yet on the computer but when he gets back from his trip he's going to. Let me just say one sight was called "Thanksgiving hotties" Well he's gonna see a hottie that's not gonna be too hot! lol Link to comment
hurtbylove Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 This really probably depends on the girl, and her view on pornography in general. like.. porn is degrading to women and is stupid like.. why is he looking at porn when he has me/feelings of inferiority like.. porn is immoral and dirty would you be ok with watching porn with him? Link to comment
tea Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 i'd be upset if bf looks at porn while i'm cooking... but i don't usually cook anyways. Well, I'm a big advocate on porn is okay in relationships, but my limits are bf can only watch porn with me or when i'm not in the house...or if I'm in another room but busy reading novels or playing computer games. Link to comment
Vanilla Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 i just think its degrading and wrong to begin with. But my god its even more disrespectful to do it right there when your partner is doing something FOR YOU! that is more disrespectful than anything! That is just me though, I do not like porn in the least and I am a very sexual person with a very high sex drive. Oh well everyone is different... Link to comment
Howtobefreaky Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 He just looks at porn for cheap thrills. That's what porn is. I'm sure he knows that nothing is ever better then having an actual girlfriend. You're not a cheap thrill, so he wouldn't degrade you down to one. But how would I know about porn, as I'm under 18 and can't watch it...right... Link to comment
sasha12 Posted November 30, 2004 Author Share Posted November 30, 2004 I agree I don't like porn either and I could never picture myself watching it with him. I think it's wrong. But that's just my opinion. Link to comment
Vanilla Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 stand up for yourself sasha. if he's man enough and loves you/respects you enough he doe snot need it. when a man can't give up porn knowing it is hurting their partner maybe its a little more than a cheap thrill or recreational fun. when you can't give up something you DO NOT NEED knowing it is hurting someone you love there may be a little problem there. Link to comment
Mun Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 Sasha, If you feel disrespected in this relationship and this is just one more red flag , then maybe it is time for you to question whether this relationship is the right one for you. From previous posts it seems that you are not happy and have had many disagreements with your boyfriend because he is not attentive... etc. Ask yourself if you think he will be a loving and faithful partner to you. If you have to struggle to find an answer... then maybe it is time to value yourself and walk away now. There is no shame in being alone. It is more dignified than living with someone who is not sensitive to your feelings. That's my 2 cents. Link to comment
sasha12 Posted November 30, 2004 Author Share Posted November 30, 2004 yes muneca, I am a fool and I take all the advice that has been given. In a way I'm glad I found these sites it's give me the incenative to leave for good. thanks! Link to comment
nexus532 Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 maybe fills the lack of new ideas in his own bedroom. Link to comment
ayekasong Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 While I don't really have a problem with my boyfriend looking at porn (considering we can only see each other once every few months), I would be very angry if he had done this to me. I don't blame you in the least. IMO, I think he should be offering to help, complimenting you on your kindness to cook, or at least watching something else - like football. There's plenty of that to go around on the holidays... and the faster you get that cooking done, the faster you two can get to better (and real) things. I think you're right for being upset. Link to comment
fanish22 Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 I think it's because the pornographic Industries aims directly at the imaginative side of Men's thought's and what the male perceive's as being Fully Satisfied Sex. It's the males fantasies or better put "The Pinnacle of our Hormonal thoughts" that many of us share, Example being 2 women at the same time, school girls, Nurses, Nice Size FAKE breast (turn off for me BTW) and that is what grabs our attention, after all everyone has a fantasy, Right? Way to go pal, I agree with you 199% ... Link to comment
JonnyG Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 I don't think there's a problem if your bf views porn as long as it isn't at a ridiculous level. Guys view porn! Its that simple. It doesn't mean he loves u any less. U could say "well he must find me unsatisfying if he watches porn", but I think surveys show that 70% or so of over 30 year old women have dildos/vibrators. Does that mean 70% of women are un happy with their partners performance/size? Many girls (especially older) view porn as well, but women are less visual than men, hence why not so many view it. Many women get off on romantic novels, its probably more of their equivalent of porn, but men don't complain. He may well have some fetishes and is afraid to ask u to take part in them, or perhaps they are just fetishes he wshes to masturbate about but does not want to carry them out in reality? Like i stated at the start, it really depends how much. And if its really bothering u, then yes, u need to talk about it as its affecting your relationship. Is it affecting your sex life? My personal opinion would be that I wouldn't mind my girl reading romantic novels or viewing porn as long as it doesn't negatively affect our sexual relationship. In fact it will probably help it as it will give her more ideas in the bedroom. Link to comment
sasha12 Posted November 30, 2004 Author Share Posted November 30, 2004 Just to let you guys know i wouldn't have a problem if he was looking at naked photos or something like that but looking at at a 100 women in 1000 different positions and all the other sick kinky crap that goes along with it. Well that just disturbing IMO! Link to comment
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