Do Men 'feel' less or in 'differently' compared to Women, re grief/loss?

[SooSad33]

I've read online, in a few places that men 'grieve' differently than women do? Is it because they supress their feelings and deal with them 'later', another time?

I'm not sure if they actually are as 'emotional' as women in the end? I heard women are much more emotional, but then on here (ENA) I see quite a few different 'males' suffering quite a lot in 'loss/pain'.

 

May also be different circumstances? (ie) As in Dumpers as opposed to the 'dumpee's?

If 'she' did the dumping then 'he' would feel more pain/loss- and vice versa?

 

I understand, when it comes to areas such as that - who did the dumping, the 'dumpers' will feel pain a little less and maybe before the break-up occurs..anyone??

 

I am just trying to understand IF men may feel/suffer as much as women and IF it has anything to do with a certain 'time' they may do it or if it has ANYTHING to do with who dumps whom in actuality?

 

Anyone want to give their 2 cents in this thnx;

[SooSad33]

Also.. the time span may help too. If you guys split up 2 months ago and you 'moved on', do you 'feel hurt over the loss' when you guys break up or later a month or so down the road?

[HopsonMcGee]

Women initiate the vast majority of divorces. Men are 4 times more likely to kill themselves than women at the baseline, and following a divorce, men are 40% more likely too off themselves on top of that baseline. Recent studies show that men are substantially more emotionally affected by divorce than women. Google "divorce suicide" to see one of these studies.

 

So I'm not so sure that men simply don't care, and in fact, it appears they're actually substantially more emotionally and psychologically damaged from the whole affair. I believe the misnomer you describe stems from the male tendency to not discuss their internal struggles, which is why we consequently kill ourselves a lot more.

[SooSad33]

Hmmm, i see. I didn't know of this ^.

Maybe what occurs is guys end up having it all 'build up' to their 'breaking point' and this happens? dunno?

 

I'm just wondering because I see and hear so many different things.

[SooSad33]

How about those who had us 'force' the break up because they had 'another interest' (after we had a long term relation).

I think my ex is 'confused' as of late because he seemed to be warming up a bit my way initating more contacts etc.

This started 3 months ago. I guess it doesn't help if you're confused for what you've done and 'torn between two lovers'?

 

Well, I didn't make him do this. So, I kinda backed off of him again, last night. Told him in a text that I appreciate his patience, that i won't bother him anymore, godbye and will miss him'.

I did this cause i need to seriously start thinking of 'me' and since he still has 'her'around, i don't want to end up in their wake and on the backburner.

No- he needs to get himself together and figure what he wants. What WE had or whatever she is?

I told him back in the beginning ' I hope she's worth it'!

I just wonder sometimes. DOES HE ever feel bad? Does HE ever feel alone? prolly not cause he has her

Does HE ever feel ANY pain of loss of what WE had??

I do figure he does miss me, cause he's admitted it cpl weeks ago and that he 'still loves me'...

[HopsonMcGee]

Again, I don't think this a gender specific issue. My ex left me following an 8 year relationship that resulted in an engagement during the final year for another man. After we tied up all loose ends, I kindly stepped away from her and told her that it was best we stay in the no-contact zone for a while.

 

It wasn't very long ago that she contacted me frantic and crying early in the morning one night. She'd had a flashback or something, and suddenly really missed me. The conversation didn't last too long, nor did it reveal too much in the way of emotions/feelings, and ended abruptly at what I suspect was the entry into her personal space of her present boyfriend.

 

But what the hell was that all about? It's been months since we spoke, and as it appeared from my end, she'd totally moved on - so much so that I figured she'd be getting married by the Winter's end. But still she pines, and when weakened by spirits, yearns for my companionship. Or maybe she was just in a fight with her boyfriend and needed to know that I'd still pick up the phone in her time of need. Probably the latter, tbh.

 

Anyway, cheaters are unable to make a commitment to one person. They'll retain this condition their entire life, and your best bet is to stay the hell away from them. I suppose it doesn't surprise me she's calling me up when times get tough with her current boyfriend, because at that moment, the grass is greener on the side of the fence where I reside, right? This isn't someone I want to place my trust and time for the long term, and the aforementioned reasons make this conclusion obvious. It simply doesn't matter that she's female - both genders have "cheaters" within their ranks, and the behavior doesn't differ depending on gender.