G-Friend broke up with me, want her back, please help

[ebola316]

It must be hard living so close to her. If he lived that close it would be harder not to go over there and tell him off. I don't know if he called or not, I've had the phone off for the last 3 days. I have the new cell but he doesn't have the number.

 

I hope you get lucky with her. It would be nice if you could get back together for the holidays. I know that won't happen with me. I feel so mad at him, I don't know how I would react if he wanted to come back.

 

Anyway, I don't like his relatives. Because of him and them, I had the worst Thanksgiving of my life. As a matter of fact, I made my own Thanksgiving for myself the day after at home. Thats how bad it was

 

Well I hope everything works out for the best for you. Keep me up to date okay?

 

Donna

[motopilote]

Hey Donna. It is hard to live that close, but you know i have to deal with it. Turns out she called my sister before she called me, told my sister she thought i was obsested with her, and that i was going to move to the city to keep an eye on her. Man wtf? I have to move, because i d'ont get along with my roomates boyfriend and there is no heat here, plus i want to live by myself. That really makes me mad. I told her yesterday i d'ont need you in my life to be happy and that she was not the center of my life and she was not all that. I am so mad. Man some things you just c'ant take back, you know. If that is what she thinks why the f@@@k did she call me and talk to me 3 hours.I'm not crazy, i think she is the one that is crazy, and she is driving me crazy.I am very mad. You know what, the hell with her, i d'ont think i would take her back, i d'ont need people in my life that mess with my head. You know i buried all those feelings and put a lid on it, and talking to her set me back, nothing changed. I miss her, but who is this person i once new?Man talk about messing with me. I really think i need to move on, and forget her. I have to think she will never call me again, and as much as it hurts,it helps. I c'ant do this anymore, really, or i'm going to get sick. I love her and would love to be with her, but i d'ont like this person, where did she come from? ARRRR. I am so angry. Man i can have anyone i want, and i need to do that. One day she will regret this, and i am not sure i will want to talk, to talk about what anyway, she ruined the last 4 months of this year, c'ant even enjoy the hollidays, man this sucks, i wish i had never,ever meet this person. I am so stupid, mostly i am angry at myself. GOD i am so mad and frustated. Screw it, the hell with her

[ebola316]

I feel the same way as you. I wish I never met this person, who I let drag me accross the country and then dump me. I am feeling a little better after 4 days of no contact.

 

What happened to you is exactly the reason I won't talk to him anymore.

Each phone call is a total set-back and messes with your head, and makes you feel worse again.

 

I had my phone off for the last 3 days. I put it on today, since if he tried to call the last couple of days, he should have gotten the hint that I don't want to talk to him. If I did talk to him, I know I would feel bad,and end up cursing him out for what he did anyway.

 

My life is still upside down. I stay up all night, drink coffee, put the kids in school and lay on the couch for a couple of hours sleep.

 

Yesterday I managed to get stuff done, today I didn't even get dressed. So I guess how you feel changes day by day. But I know that I would feel worse if I was talking to him, so my advice to you is don't talk to her again.

 

We have to treat these people like contagios diseases. Avoid them like the plague, because they love having that power to mess up our lives.

 

If we ignore them and their stupid little chit-chat, we'd do alot better.

 

Waiting for your reply.

[motopilote]

I really d'ont want to talk to her. I have said everthing i could, 50 times, and she knows how i feel. She has total control of the situation. Well i'm taking control, i am moving on, i really d'ont need this crap in my life anymore, It is making me crazy, you know. I hope i can meet someone who will respect me and like me and have feelings like a normal person, i hope that happens, but until then, just going to take care of me. I' m not even mad anymore, i just d'ont care, screw it you know, not worht it. I really d'ont want to hear from her, and i will certainly not call her. This has been a dark time for me and my heart and my soul, but i can see a dim light in front. I am starting to feel good. I think whe all diserve someone who will like us like whe are and not deceve us or use us. It is their loss, what comes around goes around. So good luck to you, my ex, but i will survive, and being happy is the best revenge, i think. No more control on me. I will find a perfect match for me, not a cyco. In your case, move on, i know it is hard, but the sooner the better. Do whe really want to be with someone who hurt us this much, drove us over the edge and broke our heart and dreams, and to them it is no big deal, just another day? Well i d'ont and i c'ant go there again. This is what they want, so good luck to them, wish them the best, really, but my revenge will be being happy with myself and having a great partner. It does not mean i d'ont miss her or d'ont love her, i do, but i d'ont like this person i got to know trough all this, do you? I d'ont want them in my life, no thank you. Does this mean i am healing? I d'ont know, i am just doing what i feel i need to do. I wish i had never meet her, and i wish she had not talked to me, i feel like such a fool and so stupid. That will not happen again, this person has hurt me enought and made me feel bad enought, well it stops now, right now, no more, d'ont need it, my life is too important to me. THIS STOPS NOW. You should try and keep busy you know, clean the house or something it will help, believe me, slowly it helps.

[ebola316]

Frederik,

Don't feel stupid or like a fool. Don't beat yourself up about it. You should have seen how I was begging last week. I say to myself now, he probably went home and told his family and friends, and they had a good laugh on my behalf.

 

They know they have this power over us, and they'll use it to their advantage. I think the best revenge is just getting on with our life and not letting them see us suffer.

 

I feel stupid and like a fool too. Look what I did? I let him talk me into leaving my home, wasting my money, doing everything for him, and nothing for myself.

 

I figure now I only have a couple of options- panic, and sit here frozen-die,and then I'll have nothing to worry about-or get on with my life. I have no choice.

 

I really believe they will get back what they deserve. People usually do. They may be sitting there happy and smug now, over the way they treated us, but believe me, sooner or later it will come back to them. I really believe this.

 

Donna

[motopilote]

I begged too and all that back in October, but you knwo what, she not worth it. We are fools, we got used and got abused, and then dumped, like Well that was fun but i'm bored now.. Well you know what Piss off, i d'ont need it. You should go home, dump the house, and leave, new adventures await you like for me, no more waisting our time, they have moved on, so why c'ant whe? All whe have to do is deceide it, and i did 2 weeks ago, but now, i am mad at myself for talking o her, she must have laughting at me, or thinking some other uglyness about me, well, i d'ont want the abuse anymore. I just d'ont care, i have to save myself, nothing else matters, and i felt good before i talked to her, felt good during convertation, and here is one thing she asked me, she asked how i felt, i told the truth, I said i feel great, she seamed disturbed by that. Man i have been trough a lot in my life, i mean a lot, never this, and never again. I d'ont have 17 tattoos for nothing and did not grow up on the steets snd survived to have 1 person end me..

[ebola316]

Frederik,

 

They like our misery. when he was here on Friday I told him I was going back to Florida. He had the nerve to ask me if I was going to forget all about him. He doesn't want to come back. He doesn't want a relationship-so what is he asking me that for? They like to play little mind games like that to torture us.

 

I have to wait until at least the spring to dump this house. In the meantime, I'm going to have to get off my butt and look for a job, since this idiot was paying half the bills. So now I have to concentrate on trying to get back in some kind of schedule to do this. I hate going out. I don't know the neighbors personally, but they knew we were together, and I know they can look at me and see I havent't been eating, sleeping etc.

 

I don't even want srangers to know the effect he had on me. Right now, I am so mad at him, that I would like to beat the heck out of him. I used to read books, newspaper, enjoy a movie. I don't do any of those things anymore. Just wander the house like a psycho.

 

Even my pets are looking at me strangely. When does it get any better?

 

Donna

[motopilote]

It does not get any better, i race motorcycles, and have not been on one since September, i have quit living and things i use to enjoy seam very dull,but i am healing, i feel it. I just try not to think about it anymore, the way i look at it, they waisted our time and energy, so why waiste any more on them. It does not mean i am ok, no, but i am findind a routine, slowly. I went trought 4 jobs, can you imagine? But i decided she has no more power on me. Yes they play mind games, last night she was asking me how i felt about her and what i though about her, i was honest, but now i know she just wanted her ego boosted up, i am so dam stupid i fell for it, in the mean time god knows what she was thinking. I am such a dam fool,but there is one good thing i am proud off, i never told her the whole time that i loved her or missed her, i fell good about that.She is playing a game with my head and my emotions, and i want no part of it anymore, if she has something new to say to me, she can leave it on voice mail, but i d'ont want to talk to her, made an fool out myself long enough, and frankly i am too tired of the whole thing. You should go out and look for a job, anything, it get us out of the house, and gives us something to do, i still have a hard time concentrating but i =am doing it, fot that i am proud off and feel good. Thing is, this expereince has changed me in many ways, i d'ont think i will ever be the same, ever, i d'ont know if it is a good thing or bad, but it changes us.I think you right, they d'ont want a relationship or anything, just want to keep tabs and make sure whe are here in case they NEED us again, plus i think there is a lot of guilt, but mainly for they ego. That's what i think. I have nothing to say to her, and in any case i d'ont trust anything she would say or believe, so why bother.

[ebola316]

I guess we have to get on with our lives. We have no choice. I force myself to read a book, and I can read like 7 pages, and then realize that I didn't understand one word, because I was thinking about him.

 

I'm like you. My mother died last year, and my father the year before that, and neither one had an impact on me like this. I have to stop acting like this because my friends are sick of me, my kids, both older and younger think I'm nuts, and don't want to be around me. My older daughter called me today to ask what I want for Christmas, and I said"nothing" and she hung up on me. The little ones wanted to go to McDonalds, and I wouldn't even get dressed.

 

This has got to stop. Their are how many billions of people in the world? Why are we letting these two hold our lives hostage like this?

Oh well, easier said than done. I still feel lousy.

 

Donna

[motopilote]

Well whe do have to go on with our lives, whe really d'ont have a choice. But today, i choose to have a good day, no matter what. I just c'ant wait nanymore, 2 months is long enough i think. I really d'ont know what tomorow will bring me, but i just want to enjoy today. Whe need to let it go, no other choice, and go on. It is not easy, nothing is ever easy, but it is reality and is where whe are, so i am trying to make the best. I still miss her and love her, but there is nothing i can do, like you, i have said everthing and all that, so why keep banging our head against the wall? It does not change the fact about how i miss her very much, but if i want to get trough the day, i have to not think about it, and that is hard, but no choice. I d'ont want anything for xmas eather, i just want it over with.

[ebola316]

Good for you Frederik, I hope you have a good day. I promised my daughter I would take her for a haircut today, and I have a bunch of phone calls and errands to make that I've been putting off.

 

Even though I haven't gotten any sleep yet, I'm going to try to get things done today. The nights are the worst. I have to start doing things so I can be tired enough to sleep. Oh well, life goes on. In a strange way, but it does go on.

 

I think once I get out and start looking for work, I'll feel better. I spend 24 hours a day in this house, and it's no good. It's the same thing we did when he was here anyway, but at least I had companionship doing it.

 

I'm also going to make a Drs appointment and see if I can get something for sleep for the shortterm.

 

Anyway, hope you have a great day, talk to you later.

 

Donna

[Double D]

My ex broke up with me in June. We didn't see each other for about a month, but still spoke. It was devastating. I sank into a serious depression. Towards the end of July we saw each other and began to hang out again. Since then I have stayed over at her place a few times a week and we have even gone to Vermont for a weekend and Mexico for a weekend. BUT... her attitude has not changed, and it has been killing me since then. I have not been happy since the breakup, but I just get a nice fix when I am with her. She is now dating other guys and it is just tearing me apart. She still says she loves me and doesn't want to lose what we have, but she seems to be looking for someone else. She has even gotten a little distante lately. She is going out with a guy this saturday, but has plans to see a play with me on Sunday. I know how you guys feel, but I can't seem to let her go. Help

[ebola316]

Double D, I know it is hard, but your only alternative right now is to go into no contact mode again.

 

This has been what Motopilote and I have been talking about, and it has managed to keep us sane hen we've been close to the breaking-point.

 

We can't be their friends right now. They are in another state of mind and have moved on, and we are still in the girlfriend-boyfriend mode, and it just doesn't mix

 

The hurt is stll too fresh. Maybe, someday in the future we can be their friends, and we will know when that day comes. Right now we are just settling for any little crumb or shred of hope they throw at us, and cling to it.

 

Explain to her that you can't be her friend right now, and why. Wish her well and tell her you won't be in touch anymore. Ask her not to contact you either. I know it is hard but believe me, from personal experience, its easier than seeing them and having them walk away time after time.

 

If they want to get back together, they know how to let us know. Until then, if that day ever comes. you don't need to be knowing about her relationships and dates and all that. That is torture.

 

Motopilote and I both had contact with our exes this week, and both felt terrible afterward. I know its hard, but if you're feeling really bad, come back to the board, day or night and someone will be here to help.

[motopilote]

Help...!!!I had a goodmorning, but then i missed her so much, oh my god, will this ever cease? Please deliver me from this, eather bring her back or cure me once for all. I have been fighting with myself to email her and see how she is doing..just to say hi, i d'ont think she will answer me anyway, but you never know. You really think if they want us back they will let us know? She gave me so many mixed signalls on the phone, i d'ont know where i am. I swore i would have a good day, but i just want to be in her arms. This is very painfull. How long will it take? I would give anything to see her, my god help me

[Double D]

I have been trying to do no contact with her since she dumped me in June, but I can't bring myself to do it. I don't know why I am so addicted to her. She is my life and I just want her back with me. She tells me things like "if it's meant to be it will be" then she goes out with other guys. I have gone on a few dates and she knows about them and sometimes she acts like she cares other times she doesn't. Sometimes she is so caring about me and other times she is so angry with me. I just can't picture my life without her. She says she doesn't want a relationship, but then tells me she's lonely. I am working on NC but everytime I see her call or she leaves a message it just pulls me in. I also can't go a couple of days without talking to her it drives me crazy. How do you all do it.

[motopilote]

I d'ont know what to tell you man, i am not doing such a good job at it, i am in hell, and have been since October. My life stoped. I d'ont know what i'm doing. Nothing has worked, just miss her so much. Most off the time i try and ignore it, but like today, i am caving in. My heart is in so much pain right now. God help me

[fantasia2004]

I hear, I hear, I hear you. Why OH WHY do you need her or want her back?

[ebola316]

frederik, sorry to hear you had a bad day, mine was kind of lousy too. It's been 5 days no contact and I feel like hell. Don't know what to tell you about feeling better, if I knew, I would try it myself. Sometimes I get so mad at this person, I would like to just get my hands on him and curse him out and beat his butt.

 

If I hear "move on' or 'you'll heal' one more time, I think I'm gonna go nuts. I made a doctors appointment for Saturday. I don't know if this will help or not. Its strange, but sometimes the only way I feel better is to think revenge. I guess it's only human nature to want to hurt somebody who hurt you so much, but I would never act on it. Just helps to think it sometimes.

 

Maybe we can all arrange some bizarre Chrismas party somewhere so we won't have to be around all the happy people this season. If I hear one more Christmas Carol I'm gonna go nuts. People say it gets better, but to me its getting worse. Any advise?

 

You too Double D

[motopilote]

Actually, i feel great. Whent i saw my therapist, but also did a lot off thinking, but right now i feel great. I decided i c'ant think about if she comes back, if she calls, if if if if. Man i'm going to live my life, you know, plus i think of all the other woamnt out there, and.....well you know....As for her i love her, but i put a lid on all that, i cannot sit here anymore and thinking about it, i have to believe and think it is over, even though she gave me mixed signals on the phone, but eather way i win, if she comes back, great, if i still want it, if she does not, F@@@k her i will meet someone who thinks i am a god. Eather way i win. Here is something i think. She knows she wont find better then me, so she is keeping me on the side lines, that is why she called me. Well, i c'ant do it. Eather all or nothing. Donna, try to keep busy, it is important, i know it is hard, i just tell my sell i am living this moment, this minute, not the next 5, and just concentrate on that, it works most off the time for me, and music always helps. I felt like crap most off the day because off her, i really do not want to talk to her unless something changes, it sets me back. After all, like i asked her on the phone, is this not what you wanted? well she vagely answered, so carefull what you wish for. I just try to stay busy, i go out to my brothers and music, music. Try and make a friend, donna it will help you, or talk to your kids, go for a walk, clean the carpet, anything. I am at the point where she would have to come to my house and beg for me to go back, that is how i feel right now, tomorow is not here, so i c'ant say

[ebola316]

I just got a bad wake-up call. I was laying down on the couch, and my daughter answered the phone. She handed it to me , and guess who it was? him. I played it kind of cool. He said, he called twice last night, and I didn't pick up. He said he was having trouble finding a job where he's living now, which I found funny, since he never looked for a job when he was with me.

 

I told him I was getting my hair done on Thursday, and that I had a date on Friday. He thought I was lying which I was. I asked him if he was planning on coming back and he said no. So I told him that his window of opportunity was about up and I was getting on with my life. He said he was trying to too, but the bond was hard to break. He said he will call tomorrow, but I'll make sure my daughter doesn't pick up anymore.

 

This is a setback, but I'll have to get through it. I have no choice. When he was with me, he was studying for his CDL. I asked if he still is, and he said he put that on hold for awhile. I told him he should persue it, and he said that I don't care if he does or not. I was civil, and didn't beg or anything. This is why i disconnected the phone. I was a fool to put it back on. This is what I get for it. Oh well. Why do the dumpers torture us? P.S he sounded miserable. I'm glad.

[motopilote]

I am sorry you got that phone call, it is a great set back. I guess they just use us for they ego, that's all i can figure, and also the guilt, maybe. I d'ont really know. I got a hair cut, and i feel pretty good about myself, i have to say. I am just living in the moment, d'ont think off tomorow, and yesterday does not matter. Change your number tomorow. The bond? what bond? Like my Xgirlfriend if she loved me she would be here, If they was a bond, you would not be here typing, right? Think about it

[ebola316]

Thats what I would like to know too, what bond he's talking about. If there was such a bond, then how was it so easy for him to walk out the door?

 

They love to torture us. I really believe they do. I'm going to see about changing my number tomorrow, because he really has nerve thinking he can call whenever he wants, and I will be on his beck and call to answer.

 

I'm gonna ask the doctor for something to sleep, because, as you can see, I'm up all night on this board. I need to start looking for a job, but I hate going out because I think everyone can see how miserable I am.

 

They should make a new diet called the "just been dumped diet" because I am coming up to 8 lbs in 10 days. He has the nerve to call and ask me stupid things like "hows the weather where you are? Sometimes I wish he would just drop dead, and then their would be closure for me.

[motopilote]

Well i lost 15 pounds since october, so there you go, at least i got that out of the whole year.What a waste of time.

[ebola316]

Yes, what a waste of time and money. I feel like you. Used, lonely, and sometimes even physically sick.

 

The holidays have no meaning. Everyone is so happy being together at this time of year, it makes me sick. How is it going to end? They really had to mess us up with their lousy phone calls, didn't they? What the hell did they call for?

 

At least your're lucky that your single and can take off and move or go away if you want. I am tied down in this house with kids and animals, and am totally stuck. I love my kids, but they are getting sick of seeing me in this situation. They want to enjoy the holidays and I am ruining it for them. That makes me feel like a big loser.

 

I try to tell myself I'm better off than him. I own a home, I have a nice car, and a couple of dollars in the bank [not much, thanks to him]

and what does he have? A social security disability check. But it doesn't make me feel any better.

[motopilote]

I was sick(stomach) for 6 weeks, i know what you mean. I am just ignoring the holidays, they are not here, i c'ant do that to myself. As far as moving, i have learned that no matter where you are, there you are, so there is no point. I have a nice car two, and 2 motorcycles, but it does not help, my bikes have not run in 1 month, my team mates told me last time i rode one not to get back on till i could focus, so they just sit with all the gear, just like me.Great year, and thanks a lot X, i really apreciate it. Maybe i am turning bitter and sour, i d'ont know and d'ont care