I've been beaten to a pulp and I'm throwing in the towel

[Bizw]

I'd like to start off by thanking everyone for the great advice and for being so caring.

 

My girlfriend of five years broke up with me a month ago. Since then I've beat my head into the wall over and over again. I think it's finally the time I've dreaded, time to let go completely..

 

Shes 20 years old and broke up with me in order to spend all her time with her friends. Initally she told me not to give up hope and that she just needed her space. So I tried to hang in and bear through it.

 

That didnt work I had to many emotions to keep contact. I tried no contact and everytime I did she would call 50-75 times and then I would give in and answer. After I would I answer I was back to were I started. Finally I got strong and didnt answer for 2 days, she called over 100 times during these two days and I still didnt answer. Well, she surpised me the second night with a visit at 3:30 am. Took me right back to were I started.

 

Shes been hanging out with her friends everynight, her friends have the basketball players from the college over almost everynight. I've heard from a friend of mine that hangs out there that the girls end up pairing up with guys and talking individually to them most of the night. Yet she always told me not to give up hope.

 

Last night my friend was over again and said my ex spent the whole night talking to one of the players and drove him home. I'm so hurt by this but what should I expect hanging on like this. I talked to her earlier and she said she doesnt want a serious relationship. She won't admit that she'd be interested in dating some of these guys but I'm not a fool and beg to differ.

 

This is so hard, I guess I should have cut off contact right away, but I thought her love for me was stronger than this phase. I think I've driven her farther away by being so persistent.

 

She told me on the phone today that I need to move on, it hurts so bad for her not to care about me or me being with someone else. I guess I've stuck around long enough for her to get over me and screwed myself.

 

At this point do you think this realtionship is beyond repair or do you think we might still have a future if I back off. Shes a huge part of my life, but don't you think it's just a matter of time before she finds someone else.

I know everyone says you can't be friends with someone after this but I don't want to lose my best friend even if we can't be together. Do you know of a way that I can still have her as a friend, or will she just keep trying to hurt me until I give up compleatly.

 

Any advice would help, this is the last time I'll ask you for your advice. How can someone leave you so quickly.

[cleverme123]

Some people are selfish. They don't care who they hurt or why or how, they just seem to care more about themself then they do any one else. She is selfish and immature and the best thing you can do is move on. No sense in beating yourself up over someone elses problem. When she knows she no longer has you and can't play with your emotions, you will see a totally different side.

[Bizw]

I've done everything that I shouldnt have, asking questions, crying in front of her, and so on. Yesterday she told me I was a little piece of annoying fuzz in her life. That her life is so good, and I'm just a little piece of annoying fuzz holding her back

 

It kills me to think that she goes out everynight and meets physically attractive guys and then has a great time with them. Then remembers me as a annoying piece of fuzz. How can I make contact one more time so we can leave on a good note. I want to keep the option open of getting back together once I've grown strong enough to contact her and not be disappointed either way. As off now, I know that she'll never want me back because off how I've been the last month.

[redline052]

dam dude, thats pretty powerfull. Im not even kidding, turn that into a poem man.

 

As for your problem, it sounded like she wanted you back with her calling you so much. let her go do her thing with whomever she wants, in the end it may bring her back to you. It sounds as if you were together for awhile, and i dont think it could be possible for her to just loose interest in you like that. Move on for now, and let it go for awhile. You cant dwell on things that you cannot control. Because of you not answering phones and crap, she might even have thought that you lost interest in her.

[sisterlynch]

It sounds like she is having all the fun and you aren't having a lot of fun.

 

I would try and do things for yourself. Try reading a book about why men love too much.

 

You seem like you are caught stationary in a road with a car blaring down on you and you can't deside if you ought to run, dive or just stay there and take the hit.

 

I would recommend run or dive!! Get away from the source of the pain, which is thinking about this chick and her friends!!

[rich46]

First of all, ask for advice as many times as you like...that's what these forums are for!

 

Second, don't beat yourself up about how you've acted over the last few weeks. You are a caring human being and it is incredibly difficult to let go. Besides, the fact that you have done the begging, crying etc will give your ex more of a shock when you do move on.

 

When she knows she no longer has you and can't play with your emotions, you will see a totally different side.

That is so true. You've already seen glimpses of this, like when she called you about 100 times...and that was after just 2 days of no contact! Honestly, doing no contact for real this time will drive her crazy, and it will help you so much.

 

Like I keep repeating, letting go is a win-win situation.

 

I'm not going to lie, the next few weeks especially will be tough for you, especially as your ex will no doubt call. But as long as you are strong and stick to your guns, things will get better...and as a side issue, your chances of ever getting her back will increase.

 

Keep posting...this place helped me lots during the days/weeks after letting go.

 

Take care,

 

Rich

[Andy223]

Bizw u obviously had an attraction for her, and most likley felt love for her when you were both going out. Basically as soon as she said that she needs her own space, i think she wanted to split up with you. She should have said that it was over from the start, this would have stopped you from getting hurt mate. She was mabye looking for other guys, and thought if it didnt work then she could use u as a fall back. Im not trying to be horrible here at all in any way, but i think this is what she is doing.

Its human nature to leave your options open, and i think you were one of those options. From the way i see it, i think that you should give her up, still be friends, but she obviously she cant be trusted. u will find many more fish, its a big ocean mate, move on as she said "as heartless as it may sound"