molly Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 i am a cutter im not gonna lie cant you see these tears falling from my eye this blade helps me cope with all my pain the deeper i go makes me a little more sane to bleed is so breathe is all i know is right i am cutter why put up a fight Look at my scars and tell me what you see All I can feel is hopelessness surrounding me The sight of myself is too hard to bear Please help me remember how to smile if you care -ive been clean for a couple months and it feels good but i did this when it was bad Link to comment
lost_666 Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 hi molly! im a cutter too! i have been for about a year now, ive bin in hospital twice. i know its wrong and ive tried to stop i just cant. i dont know who to turn to! where did you go and how did you stop?? Link to comment
molly Posted November 25, 2004 Author Share Posted November 25, 2004 hello, first of all its not wrong love. dont think that no matter what people may say if they say anything. they dont know what their talking about cause their stupid. well i've been to therapy for 3 years, i know it sucks, i used to have to go 2 times a week, ugh that suuuuucked. but now im down to once every week which is sweet. ok, i had to have self control when ever i wanted to cut. one thing i would think about that reallly helped was how much i didnt want the scars after. i think that the hardest thing to deal with by far are the scars. its horrable, sometimes im embaressed and scared and at other times im like i dont care, it doesnt say who i am. when i wanted to hurt myself i would just go up to my room and get under the covers and listen to music. that calmed me, and i would just lye their for 20 minutes or however long it took to make me feeling better. just be strong thats the only thing you can do, and find other outlets to control your anger and emotions. be strong dear and keep your chin up little one Link to comment
SaSaRai Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 i dont understand why you would want to cut yourself? "this blade helps me cope with all of my pain"??? is it that you felt so bad and upset that when you cut yourself , it hurt more than your emotions and made you forget? Link to comment
thatguy04 Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 I liked the poem, good job . But I have say, I don't think its wrong, but I do think that after a while, cutting could kinda hurt with the all the bloodloss. I'm not saying its not mentally unhealthy, I'm saying its physically unhealthy. If theres a good way to stop, you should probably find it. Link to comment
molly Posted November 26, 2004 Author Share Posted November 26, 2004 well yea it hurts physically, you just dont care and it releases all the tensions and it calms you. you have so much anger and u just need to do something and when u cut everything just stops and you just focus. Link to comment
molly Posted November 26, 2004 Author Share Posted November 26, 2004 i dont understand why you would want to cut yourself? "this blade helps me cope with all of my pain"??? is it that you felt so bad and upset that when you cut yourself , it hurt more than your emotions and made you forget? alot of people dont understand, most of the world doesnt understand why someone would want to cut themselves, if you havent been there then chances are you wont understand. Link to comment
lost_666 Posted November 28, 2004 Share Posted November 28, 2004 thank you molly! i want to go to therapy but i dont want my friends or parents to find out. did you tell any1 that you went? i dont know how id pay for it though. i really cant tell me mum it wud break her heart. what do i do? HELP! Link to comment
molly Posted November 28, 2004 Author Share Posted November 28, 2004 you're mom is the first person you need to tell, she'll love you no matter what tis called "unconditional love". she'll set you up with a therapist and psychiatrist, and dont worry if/when you see a therapist because everything you tell them is confidential and by law they can't tell anyone. that is unless you tell them something that is potentially harmful to yourself or others, like something super serious. you're friends wont find out unless you tell them, i think its easy to keep that from them unless you feel comfortable telling them. i myself was pretty open about it with my friends if they were to ask about it because their my best friends and they need to understand. even if they didnt/dont understand it made me feel good to know that they atleast were trying to understand and that they care. half the world doesnt understand self injury, hah. i hope this helps. chin up little one, it will all get better all it takes is some courage and effort. Link to comment
lost_666 Posted November 29, 2004 Share Posted November 29, 2004 thank you so much molly i really admire your courage. theres one really special friend in mylife and im going to try and tell her! then tonight im going to tell my mum. is a therapist scary? will they make me feel guilty about what ive done?? thanks again, fingers crossed.........xxx Link to comment
molly Posted November 30, 2004 Author Share Posted November 30, 2004 good for you, when you tell your friend just make sure it's just the 2 of you and its a good setting and such. seeing a therapist isnt scary at all, at first you may be a little nervous but then you grow to feel more comfortable as you see them more. remember their there to help you. they defanitly won't make you feel guilty. but if possible, try to get a therapist that specializes in adolescents and self injury, but if not both atleast adolescents/teenagers. and make sure you like him/her, if you dont then it's pointless to see them and you find a new one. chin up cheer up Link to comment
lost_666 Posted December 5, 2004 Share Posted December 5, 2004 i couldnt tell my mum! she looked so happy that night! i told my friend, she kinda understood but is still a bit confused why i do it! i wish i hadnt of told her she keeps checking up on me like im ill or something! argh! help, please............. Link to comment
molly Posted December 5, 2004 Author Share Posted December 5, 2004 dont rush on telling you're mom, you should do it soon so you can get help. people are going to understnad right when you tell them it all takes time and stuff. she's only cheking up on you becasue she cares and she loves you. so just take it day by day and see where everything goes. time is key Link to comment
Recommended Posts