How to address boyfriend's parents in thank you letter

[SuzieQue]

Hello, I wasn't quite sure where to post this but I was hoping someone could help me out. I recently received a small box of "get well" chocolates from my boyfriend's parents and I would like to send them a thank you note. However, there are a few questions I have but couldn't really figure out from just searching google..

 

1. The box came with a note that said it was a gift from "Jane" (bf's mother's name), but I'm assuming they're also from his father. Am I wrong in assuming this? Or should I address the letter only to her?

 

2. If I were to address the letter to both parents, I'm wondering if the order of whom I address first matters? For example, can it be to "Jane and John" or is it more correct to be "John and Jane?" Also, his mother kept her maiden name so I'm a little confused on how to address them correctly. Would it be to Mr. Smith and Ms. Jones? It seems awkward and overly formal, but I've only met them twice and they didn't introduce themselves by first name.

 

I'm absolutely over-thinking this but any help would be very much appreciated.

[mhowe]

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith how to address the envelop. Forget the maiden name ----

 

Dear Mr and Mrs Smith --- how to address the note.

 

Unless in real life you call them John and Jane ---in which case, you can do Dear Jane and John

[SuzieQue]

Thanks. It still feels weird to just mush her in with her husband's last name but I guess in the end its the thought that counts

[mhowe]

Do you really call her Jane Maiden....

 

Or do you call her Jane Smith

 

Or, since you are in your 20's, do you call her Mrs. Smith if you are talking to her face.

 

I am in my 50's, and unless directed to do so, call my friends parents, and my parents friends Mrs. Smith.

[Blue_Skirt]

How did you call them when you met them? Did you call them Mr. Smith and Mrs. Jones? Or did you somehow avoid it? If they have not introduced themselves by their first name, you should not write their first names on the letter.

 

Given the fact that his mother kept her maiden name, I would simply address the letter to Mr. Smith and Mrs. Jones. I was never married, but if I would, I would always keep my maiden name and so it would be important to me that other people use that name.

 

It may all be a bit formal, but you never go wrong with calling people Mr. / Mrs. .

[SuzieQue]

Do you really call her Jane Maiden....

 

Or do you call her Jane Smith

 

Or, since you are in your 20's, do you call her Mrs. Smith if you are talking to her face.

 

I am in my 50's, and unless directed to do so, call my friends parents, and my parents friends Mrs. Smith.

 

Well, my boyfriend refers to them by their first names but I know I'm not supposed to until they give me the green light. The first time we met for breakfast and names didn't come up, and the second time they were driving my boyfriend and me home from the hospital after an accident. So not exactly the most traditional way of getting to know them haha.

 

Given the fact that his mother kept her maiden name, I would simply address the letter to Mr. Smith and Mrs. Jones. I was never married, but if I would, I would always keep my maiden name and so it would be important to me that other people use that name.

 

Yeah, see that was what I was thinking.. If I went through the trouble of keeping my maiden name I would want people to introduce me as such. So maybe I'll go with that, even if it seems awkward...

 

I just want to write them a dang letter!

[chitown9]

I would just address the thank you note to Jane since that is the way she signed her note to you.

[Heather Dawn]

I would just address the thank you note to Jane since that is the way she signed her note to you.

 

Same! I even do this in my job. I deal with doctors a lot (I'm the Administrative Coordinator for a medical device company), and I call them "Dr. So and So," unless they sign an email or introduce themselves using their first name, which is a signal for me to follow suit. (Same with shortened versions of name. If, say, a "Mackenzie" signs her emails, "Mac," then that's how I address her.)

[Jennifer89]

I think you should address it to both of them, but since she signed with her first name, address it to Jane and whoever. In wedding invites, etiquette is that you always put the "mr" first, but since the chocolates were from her, I think it is better to put her name first.

 

Unless they are snobs, they won't be discussing the order of there names anyway, if it was my mom, all she would be thinking about is how nice you were to send a thank you note.