hair pulling disorder

[Mrocza]

It does.

 

Like sometimes I do it out of boredom. But I usually do it when I'm stressed out or uncomfortable...it just feels GOOD. I remember the first time I thought it was a problem...I was in my psychology class and my teacher was going over addictions and compulsions...He was using the example of a man rubbing his nose constantly, but he was staring at me and I realized I had been touching my hair the whole time.

 

Thats the thing, even if I don;t pull, I ALWAY play with my hair. I'm always twirling, putting it up down, flipping, brushing, playing...you name it. :S

[Mrocza]

I was reading over my message and I caught myself doing it. lol

[Beebs]

Unfortunately I suspect you to have this ICD. All I can give you for advice is don't let it get worse. I started out doing very little then it got worse. Be careful and keep an eye on the problem - I don't want you to end up like me and the others.

[Mrocza]

I'll talk to my doc about it.

 

Maybe I just really like my hair lol

[KissMe_KillMe]

I HATE THIS PROBLEM...

 

MY CONFIDENCE IS LOWER THAN EVER!!!!!

 

my boyfriend says i need to change my hair...

i know i do.. but theres no possible way...

 

IM GOING INSANE!

[Lily04]

Hi,

 

I have the same problem. View my thread about it here:

 

Just posted yesterday... still struggling through it.

[Lily04]

why do u haev to change your hair though? it looks fine in your profile...

[Beebs]

I can't believe your boyfriend would say that, especially if he knows you have this ICD. I know that when I pull on my eyelashes and eyebrows my boyfriend will ask "What are You doing?!" I usually say nothing but I just can't help it. And even though my boyfirend is very understanding it is still hard when he asks me to stop for him and that if I love him I'll stop. I want to so bad but I just can't. Every day it's a battle

[Lily04]

Hi Beebs. Your boyfriend obviously doesn't understand the nature of this disorder. For some people it's extremely difficult & not a choice. I would love to stop but I am pulling my hair as we speak (err...type.) I honestly believe that a chemical imbalance is to cause for this, as both of my parents have obsessive-compulsive personalities and although not officially diagnosed, I think my mom has anxiety problems & my dad DEFINITELY anger management/anxiety... they're both a little off in any case, and obsessive about things. Looking at their personalities, it's just no wonder I have something like this... but on the other hand, I still feel like it's within one's control to minimize the damage and possibly stop altogether! Definitley not impossible... I'm just trying to say that, like any chemical disorder, it's not something you can just say "OK, i'll just stop tomorrow" and stop completely overnight. It takes time. For some people it takes drugs & counselling. For some, extreme willpower & support. For me what helped is improving my self-esteem, an understanding of what I do & basically trying to minimize the damage done. I haven't been able to stop & my hair is quite thin... but sometimes the urge is just so strong I can't resist. In those moments you feel quite sad I know, but just keep trying. Reassure your BF that you don't love him any less for having this, but he has to understand that it will take time. One of my sister's friends in high school has this & is seeing a psychologist about it... she's also really pretty, blonde, looks a lot like Christina Aguilera actually, you'd honestly never guess she has it. It can affect anyone, and you'd never know... i bet a lot more people have it than you know.

 

HTH,

 

Lily

[Beebs]

Lily, thanks for the info. I know so much already though since I've had this disorder since I was in 1st grade and now I am 20. I went through fazes of pulling hair on my head and everywhere else imaginable. I am still pulling eyelashes and brows as I said b4 but I have learned to do my make-up so well that most people have no idea.

And my boyfriend does understand (he also has impulsive problems too). I guess it's been so long and I quit pulling my hair and a few other things that I wish I could just stop with everything. I know there are a lot of others with this disorder. For instant my brother has this but not to the extreme that I do and so did a lady my mom used to work with. I know I have a lot of self-esteem issues even though many people say that I am very pretty (blonde hair, green eyes, skinny) it's just I don't feel that way about myself. I am much better since I found my boyfriend (we moved into our own condo together, have 2 puppies and love each other so much) and we've been together for about 2 years. We've talked about getting married but for my wedding I want to be able to have at least eyelashes and I will be starting esthiology school (make-up, facials, etc) in a month (another reason I need my eyelashes and eyebrows). I just feel so overwhelmed it's almost making me want to pull more. I guess I wish it was easier. But nothing's easy, right?!

But anyway thanks again for the support & advice & I wish the best of luck to the both of us to overcome this disorder.

[TG1010]

Hi Everyone..."I'm new here". I actually have had this problem since I was 12...I am now 35. They say it triggers off from something tragic, which I believe was when my house burnt down when I was 8. By 12...It was in full swing. I never did a thing about it, growing up my parents thought it was a rebelling thing and i was grounded for it...I completely balded my eyelashes and eyebrows, and started on the crown on my head - which luckily that was very short lived, like, a month in my teens. I saw a small bald spot on my head and had a huge wake up call I guess! However I still have a face clean of eyebrows and eyelashes and I am almost comfortable with it now, I have had it for soooo long. I draw on eyebrows (found more natural ways through the years) and wear false eyelashes every single day of my life, only taking them off to clean my eyes and re-apply them. somehow, I still manage to tweeze around the eyelashes. The only time it really gets to me is when summer comes - - or when I'm vacationing - it really stinks that i do not get to enjoy the ocean, pools, etc. like everyone else...but god forbid my eyelashes and eyebrows wash off! Friends tend to think its a "fashion statement"...that I chose to have neatly drawn eyebrows as opposed to unrully natural ones...and some don't know that under my false eyelashes..there is nothing. They just laugh that I feel the need to glamorously wear false lashes to the beach, the baseball games, camping, etc. My family realized over the past 10 years that it is actually a medical condiditon...and I found in my computer history that my husband looked it up as well "behind myback" (I guess he's just concerned and trying to help). I just recently became really frustrated with this problem, I had my first baby and feared they would make me take off my make up in delivery (c-section). For vanity purposes, I was pretty nervous that I would ruin all the pictures of my baby - with my lash/brow free alien face. Luckily, I was able to keep em on...but it woke me up to how much this problem controls my life. I definitely "pull" most while watching TV or in bed at nite, and think I'll start running a log of when it happens/my thought process in the duration of it - to see if there is any rhyme or reason. It just bothers me that I allowed it to go on so long because I am reading very discouraging advice columns that chances of recovery for adults is very slim. Well, I have been doing it for 23+ years...and I guess its a way of life for me that I will never recover from. I will be 90 & still embarrassed by this.

 

Anyway, I'd love to hear any advice or success stories - or anyone in a similar boat that may want to share the support!

[TG1010]

Hi Everyone..."I'm new here". I actually have had this problem since I was 12...I am now 35. They say it triggers off from something tragic, which I believe was when my house burnt down when I was 8. By 12...It was in full swing. I never did a thing about it, growing up my parents thought it was a rebelling thing and i was grounded for it...I completely balded my eyelashes and eyebrows, and started on the crown on my head - which luckily that was very short lived, like, a month in my teens. I saw a small bald spot on my head and had a huge wake up call I guess! However I still have a face clean of eyebrows and eyelashes and I am almost comfortable with it now, I have had it for soooo long. I draw on eyebrows (found more natural ways through the years) and wear false eyelashes every single day of my life, only taking them off to clean my eyes and re-apply them. somehow, I still manage to tweeze around the eyelashes. The only time it really gets to me is when summer comes - - or when I'm vacationing - it really stinks that i do not get to enjoy the ocean, pools, etc. like everyone else...but god forbid my eyelashes and eyebrows wash off! Friends tend to think its a "fashion statement"...that I chose to have neatly drawn eyebrows as opposed to unrully natural ones...and some don't know that under my false eyelashes..there is nothing. They just laugh that I feel the need to glamorously wear false lashes to the beach, the baseball games, camping, etc. My family realized over the past 10 years that it is actually a medical condiditon...and I found in my computer history that my husband looked it up as well "behind myback" (I guess he's just concerned and trying to help). I just recently became really frustrated with this problem, I had my first baby and feared they would make me take off my make up in delivery (c-section). For vanity purposes, I was pretty nervous that I would ruin all the pictures of my baby - with my lash/brow free alien face. Luckily, I was able to keep em on...but it woke me up to how much this problem controls my life. I definitely "pull" most while watching TV or in bed at nite, and think I'll start running a log of when it happens/my thought process in the duration of it - to see if there is any rhyme or reason. It just bothers me that I allowed it to go on so long because I am reading very discouraging advice columns that chances of recovery for adults is very slim. Well, I have been doing it for 23+ years...and I guess its a way of life for me that I will never recover from. I will be 90 & still embarrassed by this.

 

Anyway, I'd love to hear any advice or success stories - or anyone in a similar boat that may want to share the support!

[Lily04]

Hey,

 

Wow, I posted in this thread in 2006!! Have no idea how you found it, as the search function never works for me!! lol. But anyway, I just wanted to say that I really think this disorder is related to stress/anxiety... it may not be the CAUSE of the disorder, as it may be something genetic as well, for some people (i.e. I think I do have a chemical imbalance to some extent..I have OCD personality disorder as well) but I notice that when I am really relaxed and not stressed, my pulling is not as bad. When I am really anxious and upset, my pulling increases... so I think it is related. I think learning to be more relaxed in life and learning productive and positive ways of dealing with stress may help for some people. I've noticed that my hair has grown at least an inch over the past few months because even though I am stressed, it hasn't been quite as bad as over the last few years...(although i am still stressed lol)

 

Also, WHAT I FOUND HELPS as a "short-term" solution:

 

- I bought the hair shampoo and conditioner set called "F.A.S.T" from a local beauty supply store. Google it, see if any beauty shops/hair stylist places carry it. It is sort of expensive, I think maybe $15-20 for shampoo and conditioner but it really works!! In like 2-3 weeks my hair grew almost an inch... and my best friend recommended it to me and noticed the same... it won't add that much thickness or like grow your hair bunches, it's not a miracle cure, but if you want a little help in the length dept. this may help!

 

- Also, I bought hair extensions which I've only worn out once but it gave me a boost in the self-esteem dept. They're real hair, clip-ons, around $140. Of course, prices vary according to store, etc. Look around and see if you'd be interested. REAL ones that last 8 months or so, attached to your hair professionally are ALL around $1000-2000, i.e. Great Lengths extensions are super expensive, so clip-ons are best price-wise but realize the quality is not nearly as great. It works for me temporarily.

 

Also to note re. extensions: I sort of accidentally pulled out some of the hair when I was wearing extensions!! JUST a strand. But then I thought - hey, at least pulling fake hair is better than real hair! So I thought about trying to find fake hair just as a 'substitute' until i can completely curb this disorder... I think some dollar stores have them, you sort of have to search around. But this may help as a "quick solution" when you really have to pull.

 

Hope that helps!!

 

Lily xoxo

[Lily04]

Hey, I just saw this post now. I don't know if you still post on this board, but I hope you're doing well and you and your bf are still happy together Give us an update, if you wish. Lily

[Lily04]

Hey,

 

I am 23 now and have been pulling since I was about 12... in middle school. I was twirling my hair since grade 3/4, for some reason it was impulsive for me, but I didn't start physically pulling until about grade 7/8. I think that is also, statistically the time when most people start pulling and psychologists think it is because of the onset of a lot of teenage stress and self-esteem issues that usually accompany people when they're around 12/13 years of age and all the changes your body is going through, etc... that might have been the case for me. I know I was frustrated, academically and emotionally during that time... I switched schools and never had many friends, felt like I didn't fit in and was very confused... I think pulling was just a physical relief for me, it gave me instant gratification... I have only really been learning to get better at it this year, as I've learned to deal with my anxiety in more productive ways and have stopped being so harsh on myself... it took a lot of time and self-awareness though, and some counselling from friends and people online as well!! But I'm sure you can get better, if not stop completely. I still pull when stressed, but the amount has decreased...

 

I pull my hair, which I think is in some ways worse than eyebrows but maybe not... at one point my pulling was so bad I almost got bald spots, and being a young female in her 20s with bald spots is NOT attractive at all!! So I can completely understand your frustration... as I don't pull eyebrows I don't know what would work best, but I find what SORT OF helps is just stroking my hair instead of pulling when i get urges, but you have to be disciplined then and make sure you DON'T PULL but JUST STROKE your eyelashes... that can be tough as your hand is already there. I'm also thinking of buying fake hair... don't know if you can find substitutes (i.e. a stress ball or shoe laces) that you can play with isntead of pulling your eye brows...

 

best of luck...

 

Lily