A little bit confused.. AGAIN..

[ken0001]

Hi guys.. I'm back after almost a year. Here goes the story :

 

Me and my ex broke up last year. It was the 2nd time we broke up. Fast forward after 7 months, we got back together the same year. And we broke up again just yesterday.

 

And here is how it happened...

 

She was at work, I was at home. We were having laughs about some things and she suddenly asked me if I can see her profile pic in skype (Which is a Filipina Celebrity, though not that really famous). I told her right off the bat that that celebrity doesn't interest me. Not one bit. That she's the only one that takes my attention. All of a sudden, her reply was "Oh really? How come you don't compliment me on how beautiful I am anymore? Regardless of what I do to impress you, you don't compliment how pretty I am."

 

I was kinda offended by that question because first and foremost, I told her several times that regardless of what her appearance is, if it would be far from what she is now, it doesn't matter. I love you just exactly the way you are. Haven't I proved that to you?

 

While conversing, I told her to stop the joke. Because that's not true; that I am not complimenting her anymore. Text messages were sluggish after the skype conversation. Her reason as to why she said that was she was missing the old us, the "Me" complimenting her. Then the next day (which was yesterday), we talked thru text. And the text was all about having a breakup. Frankly, I was surprised that it resulted to a break up just because of a simple issue.

 

I tried to reason out with her that this isn't the solution to our problem , that we should talk about it. Then the issue became a lot more different than the original issue. She told me that it was because I was telling her that if ever she'd break up with me again, I'd laugh the issue out, and laugh at her too for doing the same thing over again. But my actions speaks otherwise. Though I said that, I always try to be there for her whenever she needs me. I fetch her from work 3-4x a week which she likes. I try to surprise her by fetching her at her office even though I'm dead beat and tired just to be with her, which she loves too of course. Movie date, quality time (not sex though), you name it.

 

I told her that I am sorry for not being able to compliment her, but that's because that's not the way I show my love for a person. I'm more of a action person where I do things by action because it speaks more than words could ever be put in. She also said that I don't know how to say sorry again. That I'm reverting back to my old attitude. Which I totally disagree because ever since we settled that issue back at 2010, she herself told me that I have changed my ways of not being able to say sorry.

 

I tried to win her back by reasoning out that if that's the real case, then I can change it again (Though, seriously, I don't know what change she's still looking for me to do). She said that it's over, she doesn't want to say anymore things that can jeopardize or make the issue more difficult, that she's already had enough of me telling her that I'd laugh if ever a breakup will happen again. That why don't I actually do it.

 

I asked her for the last time if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore, if she doesn't want to receive any text messages from me, and if she has already found someone else complimenting her. Her reply was yes, she doesnt want to talk to me, she doesnt want to receive any text messages from me and there is absolutely no other guy.

 

I immediately initiated NC after reading her reply (which this is my first day by the way.)

 

I just don't know what to do anymore. Should I wait again for her to contact me or never wait again and just move on. This has been the third time we broke up.

 

What should I do guys??

[Skitten]

It sounds to me like there are a few too many problems with your relationship. Breaking up 3 times and trying to changes the other person, implies to me that the relationship just isn't going to work. While you do have to work at a relationship I dont think you should have to work That hard at it. And if she can't love you for who you are then she isn't the right person for you... Sorry but that is just how I feel.

[sara-pezzini]

i would try to forget about this, three break-ups, that is no healthy relationship, i think a relationship can survive one break, but not three, she seems to look for excuses to break up with you, and the issues she claims bother her, are not the real reasons...i would stick to NC and move on, she cannot keep doing this, it is immature!

[ken0001]

Frankly speaking, I've had enough with her attitude when she just suddenly explodes and spouts nonsense that I haven't done. I just wanted to burst out here and hear from you guys if I should pursue her or just stop altogether. But seeing as your replies were already straight from the heart, I'll resort to NC rule just like I did before. Though it is gut wrenching, I have no choice as of this moment. I've actually learned how to not expect her to come back ever since our first breakup but the opposite happens. I just hope that this time, I'd be able to do it again and be able to say NO IF and only IF she contacts me. If she doesn't well, still, everything will be well since I am not really looking for her to come back by initiating NC. I'm looking forward to move on. Thanks again for the quick reply guys. I appreciate it.

[sara-pezzini]

i expect her to contact you again, she sounds like a bit of a drama queen and when she sees you being quiet, she will reach out and the whole thing starts all over again..

so stay strong and take care of you, she has some growing up to do, but she can't jerk you around like that and expect you to fall for it again!

take care!

[Skitten]

I agree with Sara she does sound like a attention seeking drama queen, but stay strong she does not sound healthy for you at all.

[ken0001]

For the time being, I'll be mustering up strength so that I can actually move on on my own and not be tempted in any way to contact her. And in that way, I won't be burnt.

 

@sara-pezzini

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Though there is a possibility that she'll contact me after a couple of months (not hoping though), I can only hope that by that time, I'm already over her or if not, has already mustered and collected all of my strength to decline ANYTHING from her.

 

@Skitten

Yeah, I'll be twice as strong as I am now.

 

Thanks both of you for reading my story.

[ken0001]

***Venting Out***

 

Though I am really tempted to view her facebook, my urge to NOT do it is stronger. Same as the urge of not giving her any more messages that would make her think that I'm still after her. I know I had my shortcomings. That there are times when I'm angry, I just stay quiet because I don't want to say anything more hurtful. But I would never resort to have a break up. Even though the conversation is going haywire, what I'd do is to keep quiet and think about things rationally, which she obviously isn't capable of doing. I've had enough. I've been thinking lately ever since she came back for the 2nd time that this will happen again. Though it hurts, at least as of this moment, I am a little ready to move on with my life alone. I'll be strong and be unwavering in my decision to not contact her anymore.